


Yellow Pillow

by juli_with_a_chance



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-19 07:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5958997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juli_with_a_chance/pseuds/juli_with_a_chance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a young age Carmilla Karnstein could have been seen as an outcast. Always brooding about and being the negative person in a situation, especially when it came to moving. Unfortunately, Carmilla was a military brat; her father was a member of the Army, causing her to bounce around the United States, parts of Europe, and Canada all by the age of seventeen.  Now she’s back in the states, hopefully for good. Being the mysterious new girl in school seems to be more of a draw than she wanted it to be. It can’t be all that bad…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honey Brown...

**Honey Brown…**

-Carmilla POV- 

“Carmilla! Come downstairs before you’re late for school!” My dad shouts up the stairs. I roll out of bed, throw on my usual attire of leather pants, combat boots, and an old band T-shirt. I walked out of my room an into the bathroom, seeing as we ere still in the midst of unpacking and moving into the house, there were still a whole lot of boxes everywhere and nothing was put in it’s proper place, making it harder to find a towel than ever.

“Carmilla!” My dad calls out again, getting increasingly aggressive.

“Yes sir!” I call back, rolling my eyes. Once I get downstairs I finally find a towel in a box at the bottom of the stairs, managing to wipe my face before walking into the kitchen to find my father, Matthew, mother, Lilita, and brother, Will, all sitting around the kitchen table. My father was reading the paper while my mom sipping coffee, and my brother eating a bowl of cereal. The fact that the scene before me seemed so domestic made me uncomfortable, my family was far from ideal. “Good morning.” I say, walking over to the fridge to get something to drink.

“Morning sweetheart.” My mom says with a smile as my brother grunts his acknowledgment.

“Good morning Carmilla.” My dad says from behind his newspaper.

“Good morning Sir.” I say with a nod as I sat down next to him.

“Are you two ready to start school?” He asks, folding the newspaper at the crease.

“Yep.” Will says with a mouthful of cereal.

“I guess.” I shrug.

“Well let’s go then.” My dad says, getting up from the table and grabbing his car keys and wallet from the counter. The only good thing about relocating from Germany to Southern California was the fact that it was literally a three-minute walk to the beach. There was something calming about being close to the water.

“Are we here for good dad?” Will asks on out way to school.

“You guys are, yes.” He says. “Your mother and I want you two to have a stable lifestyle now, even though you’re older.” He adds.

“Oh wow that makes perfect sense.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I don’t want to hear a snarky word out of your mouth Carmilla.” My dad says sternly, looking at me in the rearview mirror.

“Sorry sir.” I say quietly, looking out the window.

“I’ll be here to get you at two-thirty. Got it?” He asks, pulling up in front of the school.

“Yes sir.” Will and I say at the same time as we get out of the car.

“This place sure beats Germany.” Will says with a wide smile as he gawks at the girls walking by.

“Well there is no arguing there little brother.” I say, throwing my arm around his shoulders. We start walking into the school to find the main office, seeing as we were starting school a little late, when all of a sudden someone slams into me.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry.” The girl gasps, grabbing at my forearm to steady herself and I. “Are you okay?” She asks, looking at me with warm honey brown eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine don’t worry about it.” I say, brushing off the front of my shirt.

“Are you new here?” The girl asks, tilting her head a bit.

“Yeah.” I say as I look to see that Will has already disappeared.

“Well then, hello I am Laura Hollis, senior class president.” She says proudly, sticking out her chest a bit. Laura was cute, like textbook definition practically. She was short, had honey brown hair and eyes, she was wearing skinny jeans, flats, and white shirt with a black cat pattern. She seemed too overly preppy for me, even borderline annoying. “Do you have your schedule yet? Do you know your classes?” She asks.

“Uhm, I was on my way to do that before you slammed into me sweetheart.” I say, pulling at the straps on my backpack.

“Right. My name is _Laura_ , just so you know. I’ll show you where the office is if you want me to.” Laura says.

“I think I can manage.” I say, shoving passed her and walking into the building. It took me a little while, but I eventually found the office and got my schedule. I walk into my first period class.

“Ah! And the newbie has arrived!” The teacher says with a grin. “I am Mr. Xavier, your English teacher.” He says, walking over to his desk to look at his roster. “And you must be Carmilla Karnstein. Strange name.”

“My mother was reading the novella when she was pregnant with me, she loved the name.” I say with a shrug.

“Interesting. You can take a seat next to Miss Hollis.” He says, pointing to the back of the room with his pen before using it to write something on the paper.

“Well hello there.” Laura whispers when I sit down beside her.

“What are the odds, cupcake?” I ask, taking a notebook from my bag.

“Extremely low, apparently.” Laura says with a small laugh. The class flew by, when Mr. Xavier came around to hand out the books we had to read, I was relived to see we were reading _The Catcher in the Rye_ , seeing as I have read the book about five times already, it was nice to know the homework for this class would be nonexistent. I take the book and throw it in my bag as well as my notebook. “Where are you going next?” Laura asks, standing over me.

“Statistics, room 221.” I say, looking at my schedule.

“Oh this is going to be fun, can I see that?” She asks, holding out her hand for my schedule. “We have the next two classes together, sixth period lunch, and seventh period Astronomy.” She says with a smirk.

“Lovely, I got from English, to math, to watching you get all hot and bothered in gym? That sounds fun.” I tease, winking at Laura and laughing when her cheeks turn a deep red. “I’m only teasing Sundance. Lead the way to this class.” I say, holding out my arm for her to go.

“So where did you move here from?” Laura asks as we walk to class.

“Germany.” I say not giving her much more to go on.

“Oh wow, that’s so cool. Did you live there long?”

“Four years, my dad he’s in the Army, where ever he goes, we go.” I say melodramatically.

“That must be fun.” She chimes.

“Not as much fun as you would think.” I say. “Bouncing all around, not really understanding it as a kid…” I trail off.

“Where else have you been?” She asks as we walk into the classroom.

“I think I should save that for another day, if I tell you all of my secrets, I may lose my air of mystery.” I say huskily, watching Laura pout. The rest of the day went by smoothly, that is until the day was over and Laura found me in the parking lot waiting for my dad.

“What are you reading? Why aren’t you reading the book for English?” She asks, sitting down beside me.

“Well, _The Catcher in the Rye_ is a book for freshmen, the fact that I have to read this book at seventeen is stupid, I read that book for fun when I was fourteen. Besides, this book is better.” I say holding up the book I was currently reading.

“ _The Stand_? You like Stephen King?” She chimes. “My dad read all of his books.”

“That’s good.” I mumble, not looking up from the book.

“Hey frosh!” Some redhead yells as another redhead followed close behind.

“Hey Laf.” Laura says with a smile. “Hey Perry.”

“Who’s your friend?” The Laf person asks.

“I’m Carmilla.” I say, peeking over my book.

“Nice to meet you. I’m LaFontaine, and this is Perry.” They say, introducing themselves with a smile.

“Laura!” A towering redhead calls out.

“And here I thought the ginger gene was dying out.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Hi Danny.” Laura says, jumping up and giving the towering human a hug.

“Who’s this?” Danny asks, pointing at me.

“This is Carmilla, she’s new.” Laura chimes taking Danny’s hand in hers.

“Nice to meet you.” She says with a smile. “So, Laura we have a student council meeting, we should get going.” Danny says, seeming to be annoyed.

“Y-yeah. I’ll see you guys all later.” Laura says with a smile as Danny pulls her away.

“So, Carmilla was it?” Perry asks.

“That’s right curly sue.” I chime, finally closing my book seeing as I couldn’t pay attention to it.

“When did you move here?” She asks, sitting down where Laura was.

“Last week.” I say, brushing the hair from my face. Then I hear a horn beep and see that my dad had pulled up. “As much as I would love to continue this Q&A session, I have to go.” I say sarcastically, throwing my book in my bag and going to my dad’s truck.

“Who are those two you’re talking to?” He asks as soon as I get in.

“They’re friends of this girl I met today.” I explain.

“So you’re making friends?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“I plead the fifth.” I mumble as we drive away. “Whoa what about Will?”

“He texted me before saying her was trying out for lacrosse or something.” My dad says shaking his head. “The boy knows he isn’t great with lacrosse and yet he defies me all the time about it, soccer is his strong suit and he never wants to follow through with it.”

“Yeah.” I say, not having a real understanding as to what he was saying.

“So do you think you’re going to like it here?” He asks, glancing over at me.

“A five minute walk to the beach is more than I girl could ask for.” I chime with smirk. “Who knows maybe I’ll learn to surf or something.” I shrug.

“You tried to learn once, remember? When we were in Florida you tried to learn.” He says.

“I was like ten dad, I think I will be better to learn now that I’m older.” I say.

“Well, all you did was use that skateboard while we were in Germany, isn’t it basically the same concept of balance, but you have water to support you when you fall?” He asks with a small laugh.

“Pretty much.” I say, getting out of the car when he pulled into the driveway. “Why do you drive if we live so close to the school?” I ask walking to the front door.

“Until you get used to the area, it’s better to drive you around. Then again, until I take you to get your license, it’s easier for you to get an idea of how to get around in a car, if you pay attention that is.” He says, unlocking the door.

“Okay. Where’s mom?” I ask as I start to walk upstairs.

“She went to get paint.” My dad calls out.

“Okay!” I say when I get into my room and shut the door, I throw myself onto my bed and close my eyes, as much as I hate to admit it, rather than seeing black, all I see I honey brown.


	2. Broodiest Brooder…

**Broodiest Brooder…**

-Laura POV-

“Laura? Laura?” Danny asks, waving her hand in front of my face.

“Yeah what?” I ask, turning to face her.

“What’s wrong with you? You were looking into space for like five minutes.” Danny says.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.” I say, trying to get her off my back.

“Oh, okay.” She says, looking down. “Do you need a ride home or is your mom coming to get you?”

“I think my mom is coming, I may go down to the beach for a little bit.” I say, standing up from the bench.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Danny asks, following me.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll talk to you later.” I say, standing on my toes to kiss Danny on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later.” She says with a smile before walking towards the athletic fields. Once she was out of sight I sighed in relief and walked home.

“Hey kiddo!” My dad says from under his car as I walked up the driveway.

“Still working on this rust pile dad?” I tease, crouching down beside the car.

“Hey.” He says, rolling out from under the car. “This car a 1967 Mustang, before you know it, once it’s restored it’s going to look better than any rust pile around.” He says, sticking his tongue out at me before rolling back under it.

“Mom says you’re only working on it because you’re having your mid-life-crisis at forty.” I say with a laugh walking into the house.

“Laura?” My mom calls out from the kitchen.

“Yes mom?” I ask, placing my bag at the bottom of the stair and taking my shoes off.

“What are you doing?” She asks, peeking her head out from the kitchen.

“I want to change and go to the beach.” I explain, walking into the kitchen.

“Can you take this over to the neighbors across the street?” She asks, handing me a basket with all different things in it.

“Uhm why?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“They just moved here, it’s a nice way to greet them. And I saw a boy around your age outside yesterday. So go be nice and welcome them to the neighborhood.” She says, pushing me out into the hallway.

“Why can’t you or dad do it?” I challenge.

“Because your father is working on his car and I have to run to the store, be a good daughter and do me this favor please.” My mom pleads.

“Ugh! Fine.” I huff, taking the thing and walking across the street. I walk up to the door and ring the bell.

“What the hell are you doing here?” A familiar voice snaps, causing my head to shoot up.

“You’re the new neighbor?” I ask with wide eyes.

“Apparently cupcake.” Carmilla says with a smirk. “Now, which one of these lovely cookie-cutter houses is yours?” She asks, looking over my shoulder.

“The one right across the street.” I say, turning to point at my house.

“Ah. What are the odds?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Again, they must be very low.” I chime. “Uhm, can I come in, my mom is probably looking through the window and if I don’t get rid of this basket she may get annoyed.” I explain.

“If you must.” She says, stepping aside for me to walk in. “So we’re still in the process of getting the house together and if my mother knew I let you in here with it looking like this, she may kill me.” Carmilla says.

“Well I won’t tell if you won’t.” I chime with a wink.

“And what makes you think we’re going to be friends creampuff?” Carmilla chimes.

“Because I’m awesome.” I scoff, causing Carmilla to chuckle. “Hey, you barely know me.”

“And you barely know me.” Carmilla counters.

“I can tell that you are probably the broodiest brooder to ever brood.” I say, causing her to laugh again. “I’m right aren’t I?”

“One hundred percent.” Someone chimes from behind us. “Hello there, I’m Lilita, are you a friend of Carmilla’s?” The woman says with a smile, extending her hand for me to shake.

“Hi, I’m Laura, I live across the street and just so happen to know your daughter from school too. My mom and dad were busy so they sent me over with this basket as a welcome to the neighborhood.” I explain, handing it to her, seeing as I was holding it the entire time.

“Thank you. I apologize for the state the house is in. My husband has been constantly working, the kids only worry about their rooms, and it’s hard to get things done.” Lilita says lightheartedly. “Carmilla, be polite and show your friend to your room.” She adds, politely shooing us away. “Your father should be home with Will soon. He and I have to start painting the dining room when he gets back.” She explains. Carmilla sighs and leads the way up to her room. The house was a cookie-cutter house, seeing as the layout was very similar to my house except it was opposite. Instead of the stairs being to the right when you walked in the front door, like my house, they were to the left. Carmilla leads the way to the room just around the top of the stairs at the front of the house.

“Your room is over your garage?” I ask as we walk through the door.

“Yep, why is yours the same?” She asks, flopping down on the bed.

“Yeah.” I say, looking around the room to see her room has floor to ceiling bookcases on either side of the large window that overlooked the front yard. The shelves nearly filled to the brim with books and pictures. “Did you read all of these?” I ask, looking at the titles ranging from books by Stephen King, to books on the stars and philosophy. Some were in other languages, but most were in English.

“Most of them yeah.” She says, watching me from her bed. I continued to glance around the room; the room for the most part was still empty due to her still having to unpack.

“What?” I ask, looking over at her.

“I can’t seem to figure you out short stack.” She says, sitting up and resting her arms on her knees.

“Okay, I’ve stood beside you and know for a fact that I am not that much shorter than you are.” I say defending myself.

“Ah, but still shorter, yes?” She chimes, getting up from her bed and walking over to me. “See.” She says smugly looking down at me. “At least I don’t tower over you like that girlfriend of yours.”

“Danny and I aren’t really a thing.” I say, shaking my head slightly. “Anymore at least.”

“Oh so you were a thing with the beanstalk?” She chimes, walking around me and over to one of her boxes.

“For a while, yeah. I don’t know.” I stammer.

“You don’t have to tell me things you think I want to hear.” Carmilla says over her shoulder.

“Why would you think I’m telling you what you want to hear?” I ask.

“Because you’re stammering over your words when you talk about the jolly red giant.” She chimes, emptying clothes from the box.

“I don’t know what Danny and I are anymore, she’s more of a protective father than a girlfriend.” I say, oddly confiding in Carmilla.

“That must be fun.” She says sarcastically.

“Yeah well.” I say, looking around her room, my eyes falling on a picture of Carmilla and a dark-skinned girl. “Is that your girlfriend?” I ask, pointing at the picture.

“No, well… No she isn’t.” Carmilla says quietly. “She’s a friend.” She adds in a way to end the conversation. “Look, you brought over your welcome basket, my mom made you come up here, and honestly I would appreciate it if you left.” Carmilla says, turning to look at me.

“Oh, okay.” I say, turning on my heels and walking out of her room, leaving the house without a word.

 

-Carmilla POV-

I walk over to the window and watch as Laura walks down my driveway and across the street to her house. She stands in the driveway for a moment; talking to a man I can assume is her dad.

“Carmilla!” I hear my dad call out.

“Yes?” I answer walking out of my room and down the stairs, trying to hold in my sarcastic tone.

“Who was that girl that left?” He asks, standing on the landing of the staircase.

“A neighbor.” I say, leaning on the railing.

“Okay, but why did she leave in a huff? What did you do to her?” He asks.

“I didn’t do anything, why do you always think I do something?” I sigh, holding back the urge to roll my eyes.

“Because you’re my daughter and I know how you are. I thought you were going to try and make friends this time around? That girl back in Germany, I know you cared for her and all –”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I snap, shutting him up. “I will try and make friends dad. But I had things to do today and didn’t feel like making friends right this second okay? I want to change and go down to the beach, is that something I’m allowed to do?” I ask, taking a step backwards up the stairs.

“Yes, you can do that. Just take your phone and don’t stay out too late. I’m sure you know I have to help your mother paint, so dinner is whatever tonight, maybe we’ll just get pizza.” He says as I continue to walk back of the stairs.

“Whatever you say dad.” I call down, getting changed quick and walking into the garage to get my bike. Thankfully the beach was no more than a ten-minute bike ride from the house, something I honestly didn’t think I would enjoy the thought of as much as I do. There is something calming about being close to the water; I never could under stand what I was. I think after being so landlocked for so long, it was a relief to know that there is such a thing as a beach and a coastline. I find a place to lock up my bike and walk down to the water a bit, getting the towel from my bag and laying it out on the sand. I sit down and take a deep breath. I open my book and start reading. After a few minutes I notice someone surfing out of the corner of my eye and I can’t help but watch the girl, making surfing look so effortless as she rides wave after wave back to shore. If I wasn’t wearing dark sunglasses I would be almost certain the girl would have caught me by now, I mean I was sitting there shamelessly watching her for all of about ten minutes already. I finally get back to readying my book when someone stands over me blocking my light. I look up to see a blonde looking down at me with a smirk.

“Hey.” The blonde says with a smile.

“Hi.” I say, feeling my cheeks turn red a bit.

“How’s that book of yours?” She asks, nodding towards it.

“It’s good.” I say looking down at it.

“Really? Because the moment you sat down you barely looked at it.” She chimes.

“Ah, you caught me.” I say with a grin.

“Can I sit?” She asks, pointing to the empty space beside me. I move over a bit more to give her some room and she sits beside me. “Ell.” She says, holding her hand out for me to shake.

“Carmilla.” I say shaking her hand.

“So, where have you been hiding?” She asks, resting her hands on her knees. “Based on the fact that your skin is as pale as paper…”

“I just moved here from Germany. Well moved back to the States.” I clarify.

“Military brat?” She asks with a knowing look.

“Yep, how could you tell?” I ask cocking an eyebrow.

“Takes one to know one.” She chimes. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.” I say, watching her smirk a bit. “You?”

“Eighteen.” She chimes. “So what does your dad do?” She asks, cocking her head to the side.

“He is a Lieutenant in the Army.” I say, marking my page and putting my book down.

“My dad is in the Navy. I don’t know his rank, but he’s up there. I would love to continue this conversation, but I have to get going.” She says, looking down at her watch. “What do you say to getting together one day?”

“I think I would like that.” I say with a smirk as she gets up and begins to walk away with a playful grin. “Whoa! How do I get in touch?” I call out.

“You seem like a smart girl…” She says with a wink before running back to where her stuff was.

“Why are you talking to Ell?” I hear a familiar voice ask behind me, I turn to see Laura standing there with a skateboard in her hands.

“Because it’s a free country and I can do what I want.” I snap, opening my book again.

“She’s bad news.” Laura chimes.

“I don’t need you looking out for me cupcake.” I say, reading again.

“You know, you really are like such a big ass hole.” She snaps, throwing her self down beside me.

“And you don’t make sense, why are you sitting with an ass hole?” I say, closing my book.

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to be your friend but I guess you don’t want me to be your friend. I mean I never even asked you to be my friend, but I just assume people who see someone being nice to them would want to be their friend rather than not be their friend. I guess I was wrong. Either way you’re a jerk.” She huff.

“You just spoke more words than necessary.” I say, trying not to laugh at her.

“Yeah, well.” She shrugs, looking at the water.

“And now you’re speechless.” I tease leaning back on my hands. “Funny how that works. Why is Ell bad news?” I ask curiously.

“She just is.” Laura says.

“Okay that’s a logic explanation.”

“She just isn’t a nice person. She makes you seem like a munchkin from munchkin land.” Laura explains.

“I see.” I say with a nod.

“Yep.” Laura says, running her fingers through her hair.

“Why are you such a people person?” I ask, catching her a bit off guard.

“I don’t know. I think maybe because I’m an only child? I never had to grow up with someone to annoy or who annoyed me. I just like people. They interest me…” She trails off.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I ask.

“Well now that question is way too personal coming from someone that can’t answer a simple question of mine.” She says sarcastically.

“Your question early wasn’t as simple as you think.” I snap. “And quiet frankly the answer isn’t any of your concern.” I add, getting up and folding my towel, shoving it and my book in my backpack and walking away.

“Hey wait!” Laura says, catching up to me. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make it seem like I’m prying into your life. I just want to be your friend.”

“Well maybe I don’t want to really be your friend.” I snap, unlocking my bike and riding away.

“You don’t have to be a jerk about it!” Laura calls out.

“Hey, how was the beach?” My mom asks as I walk through the doorway. 

“Nice.” I say, walking upstairs and disappearing into my room until further notice.

 

* * *

 

 -Laura POV-

“Miss Karnstein, nice of you to join us.” Mr. Xavier chimes as she walks through the door. She’s been in school for about a week now, and she acted like she owned the place. For someone that hated people for the most part, she sure loved the attention at the same time.

“Better late than never.” She chimes with a shit-eating grin.

“Oh, how sweet of you.” Mr. Xavier says with a sarcastic grin, before getting serious. “Sit down.” He says, using his pen to point to her seat.

“Hey cupcake.” She chimes with a wink as she sits down.

“Now that Carmilla has graced us with her presence, I will be assigning partners for your presentations on select chapters of _The Catcher in the Rye_.” He announces cheerfully while the class groans in response. “Oh come on, the bulk of you had to relate to Holden, there is no way you wouldn’t.” He adds as he tries to make things seem not as bad as they potentially could be. “Okay, so.” He begins walking to the front of the rows of desks. He stands in the middle of the four rows and extends his arm out. “I am the median, everyone by the windows, looks towards the right, and everyone on this side by the bulletin board, look to the left, okay you are now looking at your partner for the project. Don’t like who you’re working with, not my problem, make it work.” He says as he hands out a worksheet.

“Looks like we’re going to have fun, aren’t we cupcake?” Carmilla asks with a smile.

“I hate you, or did you forget that detail?” I ask, glaring at her.

“You’re just mad you’re stuck with Xena for the long term.” She counters.

“My relationship is none of your business.” I say, putting the worksheet in my folder as the bell started ringing.

“Okay, you will be assigned your chapters tomorrow.” Mr. Xavier announces as everyone starts to file out of the room.

“I would hardly call it that, but okay.” Carmilla scoffs.

“Why do you care anyway? You practically have your tongue down Ell’s throat every chance you get, my relationship with Danny shouldn’t be something for you to be concerned with.” I explain as we walk to our next class.

“Oh come on, I thought we were friends.” Carmilla chimes. I spin around fast, Carmilla nearly crashing into me.

“Friends? Really? That word is in your vocabulary? I didn’t think you would say such things.” I say, laughing at her.

“We’re friends cupcake, no matter how shitty of a friend I am.” She says, looking down shyly. She looks up at me for a second. “What?” She asks. 

“Oh, nothing… _friend_.” I tease walking into the classroom.


	3. You’re Jealous…

**You’re Jealous…**

-Carmilla POV-

“What are you doing?” Ell asks from my bed, a smirk on her face.

“I have to go across the street for that project with the little one.” I chime, pulling up my jeans and finding a shirt.

“How long is that going to be?” Ell asks as she sits up, making sure the sheet covered her bare chest.

“I don’t know. She-who-talks-a-lot could go on for hours. How about you go home and show your face to your parents and sister, and then whenever I get done with this project I’ll come over to your house. Deal?” I ask, walking over to her and crouching beside the bed where she slept. She looks at me for a moment and leans in to kiss me.

“Deal.” She whispers, kissing me again. “You have my pants on by the way.” She teases, slapping my butt.

“I think we can agree they look better on my anyway.” I tease, kissing her again before standing up straight.

“Yeah they do, but I think we can both agree that your pants are going to look better on me.” She teases, getting out of my bed and standing naked in front of me. She then walks over to my dresser and opens the top drawer taking out a pair of underwear and pulling them on before grabbing a pair of my pants off of the floor and pulling them on.

“Leather pants look really, _really_ good on you.” I say, taking her by the waist and pulling her into me.

“I told you so.” She chimes, leaning in to kiss me. “Do you want me to walk with you over there?”

“No, I mean there’s no point, it’s just across the street, you can walk me to the end of my driveway.” I tease, kissing her one last time before taking her hand in mine after she grabs her things. “Hey mom!” I call out when I get downstairs, walking into the kitchen to find her putting groceries away.

“Hey sweetie. Hello Ell.” She says with a smile.

“Hi Lilita, how are you?” Ell says politely.

“I’m good thank you.” She says, giving Ell a small smile. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing something with Laura today?” She asks.

“Yeah, I have to go over to her house and work on our group project. I’ll be there for a little bit.” I say, grabbing my bag and leaving the house.

“Your mom hates me.” Ell says when we walk outside.

“She doesn’t hate you.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“But she doesn’t like me.” Ell says.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I like you, that’s all that matters.” I say, kissing her on the cheek before walking to cross the road. Ell made a point of not letting go of my hand as she pulled me back into her. “I have to go.” I say with a small laugh.

“Let me know if you can come by later.” She says quietly before kissing me again and letting me go. I walk across to Laura’s house and knock on the door.

“Finally.” Laura sighs. “I thought you forgot.” She says, letting me into the house.

“How could I forget?” I scoff.

“Well I saw you with Ell outside…” Laura says.

“Why were you spying on me?” I ask, following her up to her room.

“I wasn’t spying, I was cleaning, and you just so happened to be outside when I was cleaning my window.” She says, sitting down on her bed.

“Whatever you say cupcake.” I say, kicking off my shoes and sitting down on her bed. I was only in her room once before and it was just for a minute to grab a paper from one of our classes, after looking around for a moment I realized how childlike her room seemed. She had different posters on the walls of different movies and TV shows as well as pictures of her and her friends and family scattered around. There were different stuffed animals on the shelves and on her bed and the room was very yellow. What I could see of the paint on the walls was a dark blue, but everything accented was yellow. The one thing standing out the most was the single yellow pillow on her bed, which seemed odd seeing as everything was mainly yellow except her bedspread, was dark blue, minus the yellow pillow.

“Are you done looking at my room so we could start?” She snaps, causing my head to shoot up at her. “I’m not doing this whole thing myself.” She adds, looking down at her laptop.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” I ask, sitting beside her on her bed. “Big red being a shitty girlfriend?” I tease.

“Danny and I aren’t together.” Laura says seriously, looking at her laptop.

“Okay, so what has you upset?” I ask, looking at my phone to see Ell texted me and I can’t help but smile.

“Can you put your phone away?” She snaps.

“Okay, I have no idea what I did to you, but I can still talk to whoever I want.” I say, texting Ell back.

“Yeah well, we need to finish this project.” She says, typing away at her laptop.

“It looks like you have that part covered cupcake, I said I would give the presentation. I think this is a fifty-fifty effort.” I say, looking over at her.

“Whatever.” She scoffs.

“Why did you call me here if you don’t want me to be here?” I say, sitting up straight. “I was busy and still made a point to come over.” I add, looking over at Laura.

“So then go be with Ell!” She snaps, taking her growing aggression out on the computer.

“Where is that coming from?” I ask. “Look at me.” Laura looks up, anger, and sadness, and something else evident in her eyes. “Are you mad that I was with Ell?” I ask, watching her carefully.

“I don’t know.” She whispers, looking down at her lap. Laura and I have been friends for a few weeks now, even though things were rocky and I was a pain in the beginning, she was starting to grow on me and I could see myself being friends with her, but sometimes she would get this way and it would throw things off. “I just…” She trails off, closing her laptop.

“Are you… you’re jealous, aren’t you?” I ask quietly, watching Laura snap her head to look at me, studying my face as I study hers. “You can tell me, we are friends.” I whisper.

“It’s not my place to be. I know that.” She says quietly, tears welling in her eyes. “You’re such a jerk, and you’re always mean to everyone, and I know I shouldn’t like you or even think to like you, but there is something about you that I can’t stop thinking about all the time. You never seem to really get out of my head. I have no clue why I’m telling you any of this. It doesn’t matter.” She huffs, getting off of the bed and taking her laptop over to her desk, sitting down in the chair.

“You’re right, you have no right to be jealous.” I say, standing up and pulling my shoes on. “We are barely brushing the line of friends, really, we can barely call ourselves that -”

“But you can make out with Ell all the time and you’ve known her just as long as you’ve known me!” She interrupts, spinning her chair to face me.

“Ell and I are the same person, Laura. We hurt people; we don’t care about feelings and emotions. Sex is sex to us and we just have fun with it. I kiss her all the time, yeah, but that’s all we know about each other. We relate to each other because of our dads and that’s about it. I could barely call her a friend, more or less an acquaintance.” I explain, getting up and walking over to Laura, crouching down in front of her. “You shouldn’t be mad about something you don’t understand.” I add before standing up again.

“You’re leaving?” Laura asks innocently.

“Yeah, I should go home.” I say quietly, standing in the doorway of her room.

“You don’t have to go.” She says in a childlike tone. “I want to be your friend, but you make it hard.” She adds quietly.

“You need to give me time cupcake. It isn’t something that’s going to happen tomorrow. But I did come here today, and I let you cut in line at lunch just so you can get your hands on the good cookies before everyone else. And I know that your sugar addiction is in need of treatment by professionals. I know that you are the sweetest person in the whole world, but you just seem to put my brain in sensory overload sometimes.” I explain, watching Laura smile slightly. “I mean it’s only been about a month since I’ve been here, right? We still have a lot of time left in high school. We have time to be friends. In the meantime, what I do and who I do things with is something you shouldn’t be upset about, okay?” I ask, walking over to her.

“Okay.” She says quietly, with a sad smile. “You really don’t have to go.” She adds.

“If you don’t want me to, then I won’t.” I say, walking back over to her bed and taking off my shoes. “But don’t expect me to help you.” I say, lightheartedly as I lean back against her pillows. I hear her let out a small laugh before getting back to what she was doing. After about twenty more minutes of loud and fast typing, Laura was done with the project.

“I just have to go get it out of the printer.” She says with a smile, walking out of her room and, what I’m assuming to be, down the hall. She walks back into her room with a smile, handing me the paper. “Here.” She says, walking over to the other side of the bed and lying down beside me, watching me carefully. “Why are you so closed off?” She asks quietly, turning her body to face me.

“Because I’ve been through some things that are hard to understand if you haven’t been through them.” I say, mirroring her position.

“You’re not going to help me understand, are you?’ She asks knowingly.

“Not any time soon, no.” I say, watching her face fall a bit. “We’ve only known each other for a month, it will take a little time.”

“Okay.” She says quietly, nodding her head. We lay there together in silence, just staring at each other. “You confuse me.” She whispers.

“How so?” I ask, reaching up and brushing a strand of her hair back.

“You just do. I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t know how to take you sometimes.” She explains.

“You don’t like me cupcake, you like the idea of me.” I say, seeing as I could figure out where the conversation was going.

“You can’t tell me how I feel.” She says, shaking her head.

“I don’t want you to like me.” I snap, sitting up in bed.

“Why is that?” She asks, sitting up.

“I don’t want you to, you don’t need a reason, I know how I am and I don’t want you to be with me.” I say, pulling my shoes on.

“Who said anything about being with you?” She asks, stopping me from walking out the door.

“That’s what happens. Friends, liking each other, relationship, heartbreak, that’s what happens, that’s how things end up not working out.” I say, listing the things off with my fingers as she looks at me. “I don’t want to…” I trail off.

“You don’t want to what? Hurt me?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m leaving.” I state, putting my hands up in surrender.

“No you’re not.” She says, standing in front of me.

“Yes, I am.” I say shoving past her and storming out of her house.

 

-Laura POV-

I rush over to the window to watch as Carmilla runs into her house, seeming to slam the door behind her. I pace back and forth in my room for a while, thinking about what just happened when my phone starts to ring. I answer it without looking at it. “Yeah?”

_“Hi Laura, it’s mom, everything okay?”_ She asks.

“Yeah mom.” I say.

_“Did you and your friend finish up?”_

“Yes, she just left. She couldn’t stay.” I say, knowing what she was going to say next.

_“Oh, okay sweetheart, I’ll be home in a little bit. Bye.”_

“Bye.” I say, hanging up my phone and tossing it on the bed.

* * *

I walk into English the next day, surprised to see Carmilla was actually on time to class for the first time ever. I sit down at my desk without saying a word to her. Moments later a folded piece of paper lands on my desk, just as Mr. Xavier began class, I unfold the paper to see Carmilla’s handwriting read _I’m sorry_. I look over at her to see her taking notes.

‘For what?’ I write back, tossing the paper on her desk.

_Being a jerk_. I can’t help but snicker. Leaving that an open ended statement until the end of class.

“So you’re going to stay mad?” She asks, following me out of the classroom.

“Maybe.” I deadpan.

“Don’t be mad at me.” She says, standing in front of me and stopping me in my tracks.

“Why?” I ask, pulling my bag higher on my shoulder.

“Because I’m asking…” She trails off.

“Why aren’t you sucking face with Ell right now?” I snap, trying to walk around her.

“Because.” She states, looking down at her feet. “She’s moving, her dad got relocated last minute, they only got the news this morning. She wasn’t in school today.” Carmilla mumbles.

“Oh I see.” I chime, nodding slowly. “So now that she’s leaving you’re moving on to the next girl you can have fun with?” I spit.

“I don’t want you putting it that way.” She whispers.

“Then what way do you want to put it? You don’t want to be my friend. You don’t want to really associate yourself with me. What is your logic?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at her.

“Go out with me. Let me make it up to you.” She says.

“Are you kidding me? You really are just one walking contradiction aren’t you?” I ask, laughing at her as I walked into our Statistics class.

“Come on Laura.” Carmilla whispers, chasing after me.

“No.” I say sitting down in my seat.

“No?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“No.” I say dryly. “I’m not going out with you at all, you’re a jerk.” I snap, looking over to see her dumbfounded. “What, never have a girl deny you before?” I ask.

“That’s beside the point.” She snaps, giving me an icy glare.

“No for you it isn’t. You’ve never been told no and it shows. So let me say it for the second or is it third time.” I clear my throat dramatically. “No, Carmilla Karnstein, I will not go out with you.” I say, giving her a smug grin.

“Okay.” She says quietly, putting her hands up in surrender. At the end of the day as I was walking out of the building Carmilla got up from where she was and ran over to me. “You know, I have been told no before.” She says, trying so desperately to talk to me.

“You just don’t know how to listen when someone says no apparently.” I say, looking straight ahead.

“What can I say, I like getting my way.” She says with a shrug and smug smile. I sigh as she steps in front of me. I look up at her to see sincerity in her eyes. “I know the type of person I am Laura, I just also know the type of person I can be…” She trails off.

“Wow, you actually sounded sincere.” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her.

“I’m trying to be.” She says.

“Okay, look. Let me just spell it out for you considering you don’t seem to get it. You have said it yourself, you don’t want to be my friend, and you don’t want to have anything to really do with me in that sense, why do you really want to go out with me then? Does it have to do with like wanting something you really cant have?” I say, continuing to walk off campus.

“We’re just talking in circles.” Carmilla sighs, running her fingers through her hair as she tries to keep up with me. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t stop –”

“Stop what? Thinking about me? That only seemed to be a thing as of this morning. Go away Carmilla.” I snap. “And let me just reiterate something you said yesterday, we’ve only known each other for a month, okay? The bulk of which you didn’t talk to me until we had to do the project for English, so if you’re going to stand there and feed me bull shit, don’t.”

“Fine.” She says, standing in the middle of the sidewalk as I continue walking.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“And you’re the biggest ass hole to every grace the fact of the planet. You make Donald Trump look like an innocent three-year-old.” I say to myself, walking back towards the school. “Hey!” Fuck what was their name. “Brianiac!” Close enough, seeing as the ginger team both turned around.

“I’m assuming you mean me?” They say, pointing to themselves. “My name is Laf, not braniac, but what do you want?” They say, cocking an eyebrow.

“Laf, duh. Anyway what does Laura like?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Why?” They ask.

“Because you seem like a friend of hers that would know that.” I say getting annoyed.

“Okay, you want me to tell you what Laura likes when all you ever did since you got here was suck face with Ell?” They clarify.

“How does everyone know that?”

“Well, when you make out in a hallway where thousands of faces can see, it isn’t news to anyone. Secondly, you were making out with Ell, someone who is known for fucking with people. You really think you are going to get Laura to like you?” They ask, trying not to laugh at me.

“It doesn’t hurt to try…” I say quietly.

“Yeah well, cookies and grape soda aren’t going to win her heart.” They say. “You dug yourself a grave with your personality and actions, Laura doesn’t like stuff like that.” I sigh when Laf walks away. Not knowing anything better to do, I escaped to the beach, the only place that was becoming my safe haven rather than a book, for the first time in my life. I sat on the sand hugging my knees close to my chest, resting my chin on them, looking out over the water. 

“You’re a jerk. You’re a jerk and that’s all you’re every going to be.” I whisper to myself, rubbing my face in aggravation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a little all over the place, but just run with it folks. Things will fall into place and become more coherent as I get further into the story...


	4. Okay wait…

**Okay wait…**

-Laura POV-

“Has she bothered you?” Laf asks as we sit together on the bleachers at school.

“She talks to me in class, but she doesn’t really go beyond that.” I say, looking down at my notebook in my lap.

“Do you still think you like her?” They ask.

“I don’t know. Can we just not talk about it?” I ask, closing my notebook and shoving it on my bag.

“Okay.” Laf says, putting their hands up.

“I gotta go.” I say, looking over the field to see Danny walking towards us. Laf looks over and doesn’t asks questions when they see her. “Shit sorry.” I say, rubbing my head when I crashed into someone.

“You have a hard time looking up when you should cupcake.” Carmilla chimes, brushing off the front of her shirt. “How are you?” She asks quietly.

“I’m good.” I say, pulling my bag onto my shoulder. “How are you?” I ask, holding my hand up to block the sun from being in my eyes.

“I’m good. Can I walk with you or…” She trails off.

“You can.” I say with a nod as I continue to walk off of the bleachers.

“Hey Laura!” Danny shouts from behind us.

“Fuck.” I say, picking up the pace.

“So you and Xena still aren’t a thing?” Carmilla teases as she keeps up with me.

“No, we haven’t been for a long time.” I say slowing down a bit when we get off of school grounds.

“Ah, I see…” She trails off.

“Yeah.” I say, letting an awkward silence fall between us. “How’s Ell?” I ask quietly.

“The last I heard, she called me the night she moved, she said something about moving to Europe and the she plans on staying with her folks and going to college over there and all.” Carmilla explains. “That was about three weeks ago, haven’t heard from her since.” She adds, looking down at her feet.

“Sorry to hear that.” I say with a small smile.

“Yeah. Now some girl named Elsie won’t leave me alone.” Carmilla says rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, Elsie can be a bit of a handful from what I’ve heard.” I say with a laugh.

“Yeah, what’s worse is that she’s dating my little brother.” Carmilla grimaces.

“Oh that must be fun.” I say sarcastically, causing her to laugh a little.

“Yeah, so every time she meets me in the hallway to my room she corners me and doesn’t leave me alone.” She adds as we turn and walk down our street.

“Do you want to come in? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought maybe it would be nice to have you over. Maybe we can do some reading? Mr. Xavier gave back the projects and I didn’t look at the grade, I thought it would be nice to wait for you and tell you, and I’m going to stop talking.” I say, looking down at my feet.

“I’ll be happy come in, cupcake.” She says with a small chuckle as she follows me to my front door.

“No one is home, as usual.” I say, opening the door.

“I’ve been living here for about two months and I still haven’t met your parents…” She states.

“Well if you wanted to be friends early on, maybe you would have met them.” I say, kicking off my shoes as I close the door.

“Yeah well.” She shrugs, taking her shoes off too.

“Do you want anything?” I ask as she follows me into the kitchen.

“Water please.” Carmilla says, watching me carefully as I moved around the kitchen. “Thanks.” She says when I hand her a water bottle. Then we went up to my room, I made sure I remembered my bag as we walked up the stairs. Carmilla made herself comfortable as usual, something she always managed to do. “So what did we get on that project?” She asks, lying back on my pillows. I pull out my yellow folder from my bag and hand her the paper that I folded in half. She unfolded the paper and smiled. “A-plus! Awesome cutie.” She chimes.

“We make a pretty good team.” I say, lying down beside her.

“That we do cupcake, that we do.” She says with a smile. “You know, Laura –”

“You’re sorry, I know. You tell me often.” I say, lying on my side. “Are you still hung up on the fact that I denied you into the next century?” I tease.

“A little.” She says with a smile as she shrugs and turns on her side to face me. “But that won’t stop me.” She says with a smirk, wiggling her eyebrows.

“You are unbelievable.” I say, shaking my head slightly.

“Yeah well.” She shrugs. “So…”

“So?”

“Still don’t want to go out with me?” She chimes.

“I don’t know…” I whisper, looking in her eyes.

“Okay.” She whispers, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Carmilla?”

“Yes Sundance?” She says with a small smile. I just stare at her for what felt like forever. I couldn’t form what I wanted to say into words. So I did what any rational person would do in a situation. I leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and over just as fast as it started. “Okay wait a second.” She says, resting her forehead on mine. “You, you don’t want to be with me. You don’t make sense.” She whispers.

“I don’t know what I want.” I clarify.

“Well aren’t you just the biggest pain in the ass.” She teases, brushing the hair from my face.

“Takes one to know one.” I say, leaning in to take a chance at kissing her again, smirking a bit when she meets me half way. “What does this mean?” I ask, playing with her hair.

“We’re trying to figure things out.” She says quietly. “We’re taking the adult approach.”

“So the adult approach is you and I, laying in my bed, kissing, and trying to figure shit out?” I ask.

“We could always lay in my bed too.” She teases. “But seriously…” She trails off. “I think we should give it a chance.”

“I don’t know.” I say quietly, sitting up in bed.

“Okay then.” She says, getting out of my bed.

“Where are you going?” I ask, following her out of my room.

“Home. I’m going home.” She says, walking down the stairs and pulling on her shoes.

“Oh hello.” My mom says, jumping a bit as she and Carmilla nearly crash into each other. “Laura, who is this?”

“This is Carmilla, she lives across the street.” I deadpan.

“So you’re the infamous Carmilla my daughter talks about.” My mother chimes, holding her hand out for Carmilla to shake. “I’m Lisa.”

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Hollis.” Carmilla chimes, turning on her charm instantaneously. “You have a very lovely home, I’m sorry it’s took this long to finally meet.”

“My apologies too sweetie, my husband and I are always working. Were you just leaving?” My mom asks, placing her things in top of the long bookcase next to the stairs.

“Yeah, my mom just called me home.” Carmilla says, trying to get past my mother.

“Oh that’s a shame, maybe one day we’ll be able to have you over for dinner, that would be nice, wouldn’t it Laura?” She asks me with a smile.

“Yeah, that would be nice. But there is no need to push the issue right now.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Well it was nice meeting you Mrs. Hollis.” Carmilla says, making her way out the door.

“She seems like a nice girl.” My mom says as she walks into the kitchen.

“Yeah.” I say, following her.

“Are you and her…?” She trails off, giving me a knowing look.

“I don’t really know.” I say quietly, sitting at the counter.

“Well I think you two would make a cute couple, but of course that’s only part of a relationship.” My mom chimes as she starts to get things ready to cook dinner.

“Mom?” I ask, playing with the placemat.

“Yes sweetie?"

“How did you know you liked dad?” I ask, resting my arms on the counter.

“He was relentless in getting me to talk to him. He would wait for me in our on campus apartment building, we lived across the hall from each other and he would always wait for me in the lobby by the elevators on our floor. He would do anything to see me smile he would say. It wasn’t creepy, just to point out, we did know each other and we had a couple of courses together, but I just wasn’t into him like that. Then finally I broke down after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, I let him take me out on a date, and the rest is history.” She says with a smile.

“Dad really was a pain in the ass way back when too?” I tease.

“Your father has always been a pain in the ass, even ask nana. She has stories about your dad that are Oscar worthy.” My mom says with a laugh. “Next time you talk to nana, ask her about the time your dad got his head stuck in the neighbors doggy door.”

“That story is over exaggerated and nana never tells it right!” My dad says as he walks into the kitchen. “Nana tells it like I was trying to break into my friend Kevin’s house by crawling through the doggy door, but it was done on a dare, his little brother Robert was small enough to fit through, so after Robbie went through Kevin dared me and said that if I didn’t make it through the door that I was going to get taken by the boogie man, mind you we were five, so I went through, got stuck, and was petrified that the boogie man was going to get me.” He explains matter-of-factly.

“You mean Uncle Kevin made you do that?” I ask trying not to laugh.

“Yes, he did, and he petrified me.” He says, walking over to give my mom a kiss.

“How did you get out of the door?”

“That part you can save for nana, she loves telling that part.” He says, walking over to wash his hands.

“Okay dad. Uhm, I’m going to run across the street for a minute, I’ll be right back.” I say, getting up from my chair and running across the road. I walk up to Carmilla’s house and ring the bell. Soon someone, who I can only assume is her brother, opens the door.

“Are you the girl my sister is fucking this month?” He asks with a smirk.

“Uhm.” I say, cocking an eyebrow.

“You don’t talk? Good, Ell talked way too much. Come in.” He says, stepping aside for me. “I’m Will, Kitty is probably in her room, it’s at the top of the stairs.” He adds as he points in the direction he was talking about.

“Thanks. I’m Laura by the way.” I say, walking up to her room and knocking on the door.

“I told you to leave me alone William, you never listen. Oh, what are you doing here?” She asks when she opens the door.

“I came to talk.” I say, waiting for her to let me into her room.

“Talk about what?” She asks, clearly being stubborn.

“The meaning of life.” I deadpan. “What do you think I want to talk about? And I would rather do it in your room instead of here in the middle of your hallway for your whole family to hear.” I say, shoving past her.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She says, closing the door behind her and leaning her back up against it.

“But there is.” I say, turning to face her. “I want us to be friends. I want to do things the right way if we’re going to do anything at all.”

“I can go with that.” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“There’s this party next week. Kirsch, I don’t know if you met him yet.” I say hesitantly.

“My brother knows him, they’re on the lacrosse team together or whatever. He’s going to that party, it’s a Halloween party right? Half the school is going. Not really my scene cutie.” Carmilla says with a shrug.

“Would you still want to go with me? I mean not as a date or anything like that, but just as two friends. We don’t even have to stay long; we can do our own thing. If I’m being honest I still would go trick-or-treating seeing as I can still get away with it and all.” I say, looking down at my feet.

“You’re cute when you ramble.” Carmilla says quietly, walking over towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’ll go with you to the stupid party, but just for a little while. And I’m not dressing up.” She explains as I place my hands in the back of her neck.

“You don’t have to.”

“And I’m not staying any longer that I want to.”

“I’m all in favor of leaving as soon as possible.”

“And I will not be seen with the ginger gang.”

“We can avoid Danny at all costs, but Laf and Perry are my friends.”

“Deal.” She says with a smile.

“Deal.” I say quietly, leaning in to kiss her. She kisses me back softly, something about Carmilla deep down was oddly soft for someone with such a rough exterior all the time.

“Out all of the people I have kissed all over the world, it’s funny how I can say that at seventeen, you are by far the best kisser.” Carmilla chimes against my lips before kissing me again.

“Well, based on the fact that I’ve only ever kissed Kirsch and Danny, you are better than both of them.” I chime, causing her to laugh.

“You kissed Kirsch?” Carmilla asked.

“Once, in middle school. We were playing spin the bottle, you know how those things happen…” I trail off.

“I never played spin the bottle.” Carmilla says, a confused look in her eye. “I know what it is from movies, but never was my thing to play it, then again. I never really made close ties with people, seeing as we were always moving and sometimes never knew when my father would come home with the news.” Carmilla explains.

“What about that once girl…?” I ask, watching her expression change.

“That is a story for an entirely different day cutie.” She says, leaning in to kiss me again.

“Okay.” I say with a small nod. “I have to get home for dinner, I told my mom I wouldn’t be here too long.” I explain.

“Okay cupcake.” She says with a small smile.

“I’ll talk to you later.” I say, kissing her on the cheek and walking towards the door.

“Wouldn’t it be beneficial to have you number.” Carmilla chimes, I turn around and hand her my phone as she hands me hers. “Thank you.” She says, handing me back my phone and kissing me on the cheek.

“I’ll talk to you later.” I say with a smile, walking out of the house.

 

-Carmilla POV-

The week went by fairly quick, before I knew it I was knocking on Laura’s door waiting to walk with her to Kirsch’s party, something my brother wouldn’t shut up about. I knock on the door and wait. “Hello.” A deep male voice says as I look up to see, who I can only assume is Laura’s dad.

“Hello Mr. Hollis, I’m Carmilla, a friend of Laura’s. I live across the street.” I say with a small smile.

“You’re Matthew’s daughter.” He states, rather than asks.

“Yes sir.” I say with a nod.

“Your father seems like a very nice man, I only met him twice, but still.” Mr. Hollis says, stepping aside for me to walk into the house. “Laura!” He calls up the stairs as we wait in the entryway of the home.

“Is it okay if I go up there?” I ask, pointing up the stairs.

“She’ll be down in a minute.” He says, seeming to pull the ‘intimidating father act’.

“Daddy, stop scaring Carmilla.” Laura says as she walks down the stairs.

“I’m not doing anything sweetie.” He says in defense of himself.

“You’re standing there staring at her like you’re trying to read into her soul, you did the same thing when you first met Danny.” Laura says, taking my hand in hers and leading me upstairs.

“I didn’t expect your dad to be so intimidating looking.” I whisper as we walk up the stairs. “I don’t know why but I expected him to be this scrawny, geeky kinda guy.”

“Did you ever look at the pictures on the walls of this house?” Laura asks as we walk into her room.

“No.”

“Well if you did, you’d have known that he works out like a mad man and looks like he belongs in some kind of heavy weight championship.” Laura says, kissing me on the cheek as she closes her door over, but not all the way. “My dad is probably at the bottom of the stairs and will listen to it click shut, so to avoid him running up here like a lunatic, I’m not closing it all they way.” Laura explains.

“Good, cause he scares me.” I say, walking over to sit on her bed. “When do we have to get to Kirsch’s?”

“It starts at like seven I think, we can go whenever.” Laura says, sitting down beside me.

“What would we do if we weren’t going?” I ask, leaning back on my hands.

“I’d either go down to the beach or go trick-or-treating, because why not.” Laura says with a smile.

“I like those ideas better.” I say, brushing her hair from her face.

“But we have to go and show our faces. At least I have to, if I don’t, I won’t here the end of it from Kirsch and everyone else.” Laura says quietly.

“The struggle of being everyone’s friend? Or the struggle of being class president?” I ask.

“A little bit of both.” Laura says quietly.

“I see.” I say, lying down.

“I mean, I would much rather go get free candy from strangers, or go to the beach. I would much rather spend the night with just you…” She whispers, resting her head on my chest.

“I know cupcake.” I say quietly. “What time is it now?”

“Like six-thirty.” Laura mumbles into my chest.

“We should go to this stupid party early and leave right away, you know? The sooner we get there, the sooner we can go to the beach.” I say, running my fingers through her hair.

“As much as I would rather lay here all night doing this, I think your plan is a good one.” Laura says, looking up and kissing me on the cheek.

“We still have to talk this over you know…” I say, watching her get up and walk over to her desk.

“I know, but for now can’t we just go with it?” She asks, keeping her back towards me.

“Whatever you want.” I say, walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder.

“Is this your version of going with it?” She asks quietly as I begin to kiss her neck.

“Maybe.” I whisper in her ear, feeling her shiver slightly in my arms.

“You don’t play fair.” She whines, turning her head slightly to kiss me.

“I never play fair, that’s why I get my way.” I chime, kissing her one last time before letting her go. “Are you wearing a cheesy costume or…?”

“Maybe, are you going to wear one?” She asks, turning to face me.

“No.” I scoff. “I don’t wear costumes, the only time I did when I was thirteen and my dad was stationed in England, he had some time off and we went over to Ireland for Halloween, which was fun.” I say.

“Did you like being all over the world?” Laura asks, placing her hands on the back of my beck.

“I didn’t like getting close to people, I never knew when I was going to leave a place so I didn’t have very many friends ever.” I say, placing my hands on her hips. “Even now I can’t be so sure. I mean, my parents have said that this is it, but you never know. My mom is sick of moving, so I think if anything my dad will go and come home when he can. I have family here, my mom’s parents live here and I think her sister still lives here, if not she lives somewhere upstate.” I explain.

“You were born here?” She asks, cocking her head to the side.

“I was, but my brother was born in France. I was raised in France for a year, then Canada for a couple, then England, then we came here, went back to England, then Germany, and finally here.” I explain.

“Sounds like fun.” She says with a laugh. “At least you will hopefully remain here.”

“Hopefully.” I whisper.

“I don’t think I’m going to dress up, but we should get going to we can leave sooner rather than later.” Laura says quietly. “Maybe I’ll just change into shorts and a t-shirt. Do you still want to go down to the beach?” She asks, walking over to her closet.

“I’d like that.” I say, stuffing my hands into the back pockets of my shorts.

“Okay, I’m gonna go change. Are you wearing a bathing suit?” She asks from her closet.

“It’s southern California, I think everyone our age wears a bathing suit under their clothes.” I tease.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go change quick, I’ll be right back.” She says, walking out of her room. After about fifteen minutes, Laura is walking back into the room in shorts and a tank top, her hair pulled up into a high ponytail.

“Whenever you’re ready to go cupcake, we’ll go.” I say, running my eyes over her body.

“Whenever you want to stop eye-fucking me…” She teases, walking over to kiss me.

“Let’s go.” I whisper against her lips.

 

-Laura POV-

We get to Kirsch’s house just as the party was starting to get busy. The walk to his house was quiet; Carmilla and I walked hand in hand around the corner. “All of these house’s look nearly the same.” Carmilla complains as we walk up to the front door, clearly letting ourselves in after that. The house was loud and packed with people. I lean Carmilla into the back of the house where the kitchen is, and where there seams to be less people.

“Drink?” I ask, turning to face her for a second.

“I’m not a big drinker cupcake.” She says, with a slight grimace.

“Non alcoholic drink than?” I ask playfully.

“Water.” She says with a small smile.

“Are you two a thing, or are you being forced against your will?” Laf asks as they walk into the kitchen.

“We’re figuring things out.” I say, squeezing Carmilla’s hand a bit.

“If that’s what the kids are calling it now-a-days.” Laf says, putting their hands up in mock surrender.

“Where’s Perry.” I ask.

“She’s somewhere around here. I think she’s in the back, you know how she doesn’t like a lot of people but if we don’t come than Kirsch never lets us hear the end of it.” They say, rolling their eyes. “I was just going back there when I say you two.”

“Oh, okay, we’ll meet you back there, I just want to find Kirsch, as soon as we see him, we’re leaving.” I explain.

“Last I checked he turned his dining room table into a beer pong table.” They say before walking out the back door.

“Shall we?” I chime, watching Carmilla smile shyly.

“We shall. Lead the way.” She says with a smile. I lead her through the house to the dining room where Kirsch was indeed playing beer pong. “Ew.” Carmilla groans.

“What is it?” I ask, looking at her.

“My brother is playing with Kirsch. I barely like associating myself with him as it is.” She says, rolling her eyes. We stood in the crowd of people for a little bit until the game was over and Kirsch and Will ended up, of course, winning. After their victory dance, Kirsch noticed Carmilla and I standing across the table.

“Hey! Little hottie!” He announces walking over to give me a hug. “Who is this sexy lady?” He asks, eyeing Carmilla up and down.

“This is Carmilla, she’s in our lunch you idiot.” I say, slapping him on his arm.

“Oh right! You’re Will’s sister.” He chimes. “Awesome, well you know were the drinks are, I’ll see you guys later. Will and I have another round to win.” He says before walking back over to Will, who waves at Carmilla and I before we leave the room.

“Next stop the back yard.” I say, leading her back to the kitchen to go out the back door.

“Then the beach?” Carmilla asks.

“Then the beach.” I say, leaning over to kiss her on her cheek.

“Oh so you and The Queen of The Damned are a thing now?” Danny asks from behind us.

“That’s not any of your business Danny.” I snap.

“You left me for her?” She complains.

“At least we’re at the same altitude.” Carmilla mumbles.

“What did you say?” Danny asks, narrowing her eyes at Carmilla.

“I wouldn’t be surprised that you can’t hear me, being so high up there.” Carmilla says.

“Hey, stop it.” I say in her ear.

“We showed our faces to everyone, could we go?” She asks like an impatient child.

“Yeah, lets go.” I say quietly, making a scene of kissing her in front of Danny.

“Laura, don’t eat Carmilla, that wouldn’t be nice.” Laf says, causing Carm and I to break apart.

“Brainiac is right.” Carmilla says breathlessly, winking at me as I bury my face in her neck.

“We’ll see you guys later.” I say, leading the way over to the back gate and letting us out.

“To the beach?” Carmilla chimes with a smile stepping in front of my and offering me a piggyback ride, I jump up and wrap my arms around her shoulders as she hooks her arms under my legs.

“To the beach!” I announce and point as she takes off down the road.

“Or do you want to go to my house and go in the pool?” Carmilla asks.

“As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter what I do.” I say, kissing the side of her head.

“Okay cupcake.” She says. We ended up at her house, which was nice, seeing as no one was home. We both take off out clothes and jump into the pool.

“This was a better idea.” I say, swimming over to her.

“I think so too.” She chimes, wrapping her arms around me as I wrap my legs around her waist and my arms around her neck. Carmilla looks at me with a small smile on her face. “What?” I whisper, looking into her eyes.

“I like you.” She says quietly.

“I like you too.” I chime.

“We should try this.”

“We should.” I say with a small nod.

“Okay.” She says with a smile, leaning in to kiss me.

“So much for the adult approach.” I tease.

“Whatever approach we take, we know the outcome will be the same.” She whispers.

“What’s that?” I ask, brushing a stand of hair out of her face.

“We would have ended up together.” She says, leaning in to kiss me again.


	5. Go Away…

**Go Away…**

-Laura POV-

“Are you kidding me?” Danny asks, walking up to me as I put things in my locker.

“What are you referring to?” I ask, not looking at her.

“You’re kidding right?” She asks.

“No, I’m not kidding.” I say, closing my locker.

“You seriously broke up with me to be with _her_?” Danny asks in disgust.

“We were doomed long before Carmilla moved here.” I say, turning my back to Danny and walking down the hall.

“That isn’t true and you know it!” Danny says, grabbing at my arm and spinning me around.

“It is true Danny, you can’t keep thinking that it isn’t.” I say, pulling my arm away from her.

“We were doing okay, we were just going through a rough patch.” Danny says, looking at the floor.

“Rough patches last a few days to a week or two. A rough patch doesn’t last three months Danny.” I say, trying not to make a scene.

“I love you!” Danny cries out. “You can’t do this.”

“Danny, knock it off. I have to go.” I say, walking away from her.

“Everything okay?” Carmilla asks, looking over my shoulder as I walk up to her.

“Danny just not handling rejection all that well.” I say quietly, wrapping my arms around Carmilla and resting my head on her chest.

“We have English to attend sweetie.” She says, kissing the top of my head and taking my hand in hers.

“Why is Danny on the war path?” Laf asks as Carmilla and I sit down at the lunch table.

“Because she doesn’t understand what it mean to break up.” I say.

“Did you officially break up with her?” Perry asks.

“Y-yeah.” I say, cocking an eyebrow.

“Either you did or you didn’t.” Laf chimes.

“We were doomed months ago, she just never caught on to me drifting away.” I say.

“Anyway.” Laf says. “Are you two done playing with each other’s emotions?” They ask.

“For the most part.” Carmilla teases, leaning over to kiss me.

“Awe, you’re so cute.” Laf chimes sarcastically, making gagging sounds.

“LaFontaine, stop it.” Perry says, slapping them on the arm. “You two are very adorable to say the least.” Perry says, wrapping her hands around Laf’s arm and resting her head on their shoulder.

“Talk about gag status.” Carmilla teases. “How long have you two been a thing?” She asks.

“We’ve known each other since kindergarten, we’ve been such good friends all these years, things just happened…” Perry explains, smiling at Laf.

“That actually is a cute story.” I say, never having heard it before.

“Yeah, so cute.” Danny says sarcastically as she towers about us with her arms crossed over her chest.

“What do you want Clifford?” Carmilla asks, looking up at Danny.

“I want you to get away from my girlfriend.” She snaps, trying to pull me away from Carmilla.

“Whoa! Stop it.” I say, nearly falling off the bench. “I’m not your girlfriend anymore Danny!” I say getting up from the table. “You need to understand that. We aren’t together anymore; we haven’t really a couple for a long time. I’ve moved on, you should move on…” I say, taking Carmilla by the hand and walking out of the cafeteria.

“Laura I’m sorry!” Danny calls out, trying to catch up to Carmilla and I.

“Go away! Leave me and Laura alone!” Carmilla nearly screams.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Danny says.

“Danny, seriously go away. Please stop making a fool out of yourself. We’re over, it’s done, and I’m with Carmilla and that’s that okay?” I say, walking over to her. “I’m sorry, but I want to be with Carmilla now. We can be friends, just not more than that, okay?” I say, looking up at her.

“Okay.” She says quietly with a small nod before walking away. I walk back over to Carmilla, taking her hand in mine as she intertwines our fingers.

“Are you okay?” She asks quietly.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I say with a smile, leaning in to kiss her.

“Want to go out tonight?” Carmilla asks as we walk to my locker.

“Are you asking me on a date?” I ask shyly, swinging out hands between us.

“That I am creampuff.” She says with a wide smile.

“What do you have in mind?” I ask, placing my hands on the back of her neck when we come to a stop at my locker.

“Whatever you want to do, I can probably borrow my mom’s car.” Carmilla says, placing her hands on my waist, and kissing my forehead.

“Why don’t we… Go see a movie, maybe get dinner? Stereotypical date.” I tease, leaning in to kiss her.

“I’d like that.” She whispers, kissing me again.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Mother!” I shout, walking through the door.

“Daughter!” She mimics calling out from the living room. I look over to see her sitting on the couch reading. “How can I help you?” She says with a smile.

“Can I borrow your car tonight for a couple of hours?” I ask, walking in and sitting down beside her.

“Why do you need to borrow my car?” She asks, closing her book.

“I want to take Laura out on a date.” I say nervously.

“Oh really? You finally came to your senses?” She teases.

“Yeah mom, so can I borrow it?” I say, watching her.

“Have it back no later than eleven and finish up whatever homework you may have before you go.” She says, opening her book to continue reading.

“Thank you so much mom.” I say, walking over to kiss her on the cheek before running up to my room. After finishing up my homework, showering and getting dressed, I’m standing on Laura’s doorstep at about five-thirty. “Hello Mr. Hollis.” I say when he opens the door with a smile.

“I think you’re to the point where you can call me Sherman.” He says happily, stepping aside to allow me to walk through.

“Okay, Sherman.” I say with a small grin.

“Laura should be down in a little bit, but you know what has to be done until then.” He says, leading me into the den, he sits in what I can assume to be his own recliner as I sit on the couch adjacent to him. “So, Carmilla, you are taking my daughter on a date.” He states.

“Yes sir.” I say with a nod.

“How long have you been driving?’ He asks.

“In the states? A few months, but I did lean how to drive when I was living in Europe, my parents thought it was best for me to learn, the didn’t care where.” I explain.

“That’s good. Look Carmilla, I can assume you have the best of intentions when it comes to Laura, but she will always be my only child, she’s my pride and joy for the past seventeen years. I don’t want anything to happen to her, I don’t want you hurting her because if you do… well there will be consequences, that goes without saying.” He says, sitting back in his chair.

“I will never do anything to hurt your daughter sir. I want you to know that there is really nothing to worry about.” I say, giving him a piece of mind.

“I believe that, but it will take a while for me to trust that. I hop you understand.” He says with a smile.

“Completely.” I say, giving him a smile.

“Daddy, are you scaring Carmilla again?” Laura chimes, walking into the room.

“Never sweetheart.” He says, walking over to give Laura a kiss on the cheek. “You look very pretty.” He adds. “Have a good time you two, Carmilla, have her back here no later than ten-thirty.”

“Will do sir.” I say, getting up from the couch and walking over to Laura. “Ready to go?” I ask, as Laura takes her hand in mine.

“Let’s go. Bye daddy.” Laura says. “Where’s mom?”

“She’s in the kitchen.” He says as Laura drags me along with her into the kitchen.

“Bye mom.” Laura says causing her mother to jump a bit.

“You scared me.” Lisa says, placing her hand on her chest. “You girls have a good time.”

“We will, see you later.” Laura says.

“What time did your father set?” She asks.

“Ten-thirty Mrs. Hollis.” I say.

“Carmilla you can call me Lisa, I told you this already. Mrs. Hollis makes me sound older than I like to admit I am.” She says lightheartedly. “Have fun.” She adds, walking over to give Laura and I a hug before we finally can leave.

“I thought they were never going to let us leave.” Laura sighs as we walk out of her house and continue to across the street. I walk her to the passenger side of my mom’s car, opening the door for her. “Chivalrous.” She teases, kissing me on the cheek before getting into the car.

“Seeing as I am still fairly new to the neighborhood, lead the way to where you want to go for dinner.” I say, backing out of the driveway.

“Do you have a preference?” She asks.

“Nope, wherever you want to go.” I say, looking over at her as I come to a stop sign. After following Laura’s directions, we end up in front of some semi-fancy looking restaurant. “I feel like I’m underdressed for this place cupcake.” I say as I get out of the car. I walk over and open the door for her.

“You look good, so don’t worry.” She says, getting out of the car and kissing me before taking my hand in hers and leading the way into the restaurant.

“Well if it isn’t little nerd hottie and Carm-sexy.” Kirsch chimes, walking over to our table with a pen and pad in hand. “I will be at your service tonight.” He adds with his usual toothy grin.

“Hey Kirsch.” Laura says with a smile.

“Hi.” I say before ordering as drinks and watching him walk away.

“Be nice.” Laura says, kicking me under the table.

“What if I don’t want to be nice?” I ask playfully.

“You’ll just have to find out.” She says, leaning over the table to kiss me. We ate dinner in relative silence, stealing glances here and there, and sharing small smiles as we ate. Thankfully Kirsch seemed to know better than to hover over us, seeing as I would have probably beat him up if he annoyed us.

“Would you two lovely ladies like anything for dessert?” Kirsch asks as he takes our plates away, Laura looks over at me with hopeful eyes.

“Bring Laura something, I don’t want anything.” I say, watching Laura smile wide as she asks for some kind of cookie thing. “You don’t have just one sweet tooth do you?” I tease.

“Nope.” She says shaking her head.

“I never thought I would use this word, but your so fucking _cute_ , I can’t handle it.” I say, leaning back in my chair, watching Laura blush slightly as she looks away shyly.

“That’s the first time I heard that.” She says quietly.

“Bigfoot never complimented you?” I ask, leaning forward and resting my arms on the table. I watch as Laura shakes her head slightly back and forth. “Well, someone that tall have to be lacking in the human interaction department, seeing as they will never be at the same altitude as everyone else.” I scoff, reaching across the table for her hand. “You are very, very cute Laura.” I say, pulling her hand to my lips and kissing the back of it.

“You are so sweet.” Laura says quietly.

“Keep that between us sweetheart, I have a reputation to uphold.” I say, letting go of her hand as Kirsch comes to the table.

“Here is your dessert.” He says, placing a bowl of ice cream and cookies in front of Laura. “And the check, whenever you’re ready.” He says, placing it on the table.

“Here.” I say, looking at the check and handing him money. “Keep it.” I add, watching his eyes light up.

“That’s Carm-sexy.” He chimes. “You two have a good night, and tell Will that practice is moved from tomorrow after school, to Monday after school.” He adds before walking away from the table.

“That thing looks like it will destroy your pancreas with all the sugar in it.” I say, putting my wallet away.

“Eh.” She says with a shrug and a mouthful of ice cream. “Want a bite?” She asks, holding the spoon up. I nod my head and lean over the table, taking the bite.

“Diabetic coma.” I tease with a mouthful of cookies.

“But good.” Laura says with a smile.

“What movie do you want to see?” I ask, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

“You can pick.” She says, finishing off her dessert with a smile.

“Okay.” I say with a smile.

 

-Laura POV-

“What the fuck kind of ending was that?” Carmilla complains as we walk out of the movie hand in hand.

“She went back to her, that’s what they wanted.” I explain.

“But all they did was stare at each other, they didn’t even react.” She says.

“It’s supposed to be a ‘read between the lines’ kind of ending.” I say.

“Yeah well it fucking sucked and I will never see it again.” She says.

“Okay, but you have to admit Rooney Mara is hot.” I chime.

“Not in that fucking movie she wasn’t. I just hated it. Never gain.” Carmilla grimaces, unlocking the car and opening the door for me. I stop for a moment and look at her.

“What if our love was still forbidden like that?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her neck.

“Let’s be grateful that it isn’t.” She says, placing her hands on my waist before leaning in and kissing me.

“What time is it?” I ask, watching Carmilla take her phone out of her back pocket.

“Nine-forty-five.” She says, putting her phone back in her pocket.

“Oh, good. If you get me home early, my dad will like it.” I chime, kissing her again.

“Well I want to be in his good side so we should get going.” She says, kissing me again before I get into the car. We drive back to our street silently, seeing as I didn’t want to get Carmilla riled up by talking about the movie. She pulls into her driveway and gets out of the car, coming around to open the door for me. I get out and take her hand in mine, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

“Thank you.” I say quietly before we start walking across the street to my house.

“You are very welcome cupcake.” She says with a smile.

“Laura?” I hear a voice say from my doorstep, I look over to see Danny sitting on my porch.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, feeling Carmilla squeeze my hand a bit.

“I just wanted to talk.” Danny says, walking over to us.

“At ten o’clock at night?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah.” Danny says, running her fingers through her hair.

“Well I’m still technically on a date, so I’d like it if you left and I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning before class.” I say, watching Danny furrow her brow as she nods her head.

“Okay, sorry for bugging you.” She says, walking past us and nearly shoving into Carmilla.

“Is she going to keep being like this?” Carmilla asks as she takes my other hand in hers.

“She’ll get over it eventually, once we talk everything should be okay.” I say, placing my hands on the back of Carmilla’s neck. “Even though you hated the movie, was tonight worth it?” I tease as Carmilla leans in to kiss me.

“More than worth it.” She whispers against my lips, leaning her forehead against mine. “So seeing as you’re talking to Xena in the morning, I’ll see you in English.” She says.

“What about walking me to school?” I chime, kissing her again.

“Well that’s a given cupcake.” She chimes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I say, letting go of her and walking towards the door.

“Goodnight creampuff.” She calls out with a smile. “Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight Carmilla.” I say, blowing her a kiss, laughing when she acts like she caught it and places it in her pocket. I walk in the house to find my parents still away and watching TV.

“She got you home nearly a half hour early.” My dad says sounding impressed.

“Did you girls have a good time?” My mom asks with a smile.

“Yeah, we did, I’m going to head up to bed. Goodnight.” I say.

“Night sweetie.” They say in unison as I walk upstairs.

* * *

“Good morning cupcake.” Carmilla says with a smile as I meet her at the end of my driveway.

“Good morning.” I say, taking her hand in mine and leaning in to kiss her.

“How did you sleep?” She asks as we begin our walk to school.

“Very well.” I chime.

“Are you ready to talk to the walking beanstalk?” She asks, looking over at me.

“I know what she’s going to day, and it’s annoying that I have to keep repeating myself.” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” She asks, squeezing my hand slightly.

“No it’s okay.” I say, shaking my head a bit.

“Well if you need me I’ll be in class okay, just go straight there.” She says, kissing the side of my head as we continued walking. After about five more minutes, we were walking onto school property.

“There’s Danny.” I say, pointing to a bench close to the main entrance.

“I’ll see you inside.” Carmilla says as she takes my other hand in hers and steps in front of me for a moment.

“Yes ma’am.” I chime, looking at her with a smile and seeing Danny glaring at us just over Carmilla’s shoulder.

“She’s looking isn’t she?” Carmilla asks with a smile.

“Of course she is.” I say, directing my attention back to Carmilla, letting go of her hands and placing mine behind her neck as she grabs my waist.

“I’ll see you in a little while.” Carmilla says, leaning in to kiss me.

“I’ll see you in a little while.” I repeat quietly, kissing her again. Carmilla kissing me on the cheek before giving me a hug and walking into the school, I watch as Danny eyes Carmilla carefully as they walk past each other. Danny walks up to me and gives me a hug, to which I do not give her back. “Danny…” I trail off as she interrupts me.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to take no for an answer. I see the way Carmilla cares for you and that’s all that matters. I just wanted you to know that I still care about you even though we’re broken up, so I would like to remain friends.” Danny explains.

“Okay. I think friends can be a viable thing between us. But the second you pull something odd, we will not be friends. Got it?” I ask.

“I understand completely.” Danny says with a nod.

“Good. Now I have to get to class.” I say, walking past her with a tight-lipped smile. I walk into English to see everyone still talking amongst themselves. I walk over to Carmilla, who has her nose buried deep into a book that wasn’t a requirement for the class. Seeing as she didn’t notice me, I start teasing her by pulling at the book, chuckling as she begins to fight me by pulling it back towards her.

“Cupcake, you know I don’t like this game.” She chimes, continuing to read her book.

“But that doesn’t make it any less fun for me.” I say, holding back a laugh.

“You ended your talk quite early, and without an outburst.” Carmilla says, closing her book.

“Yep, she says she want to still be friends and was sorry for the way she never realized sooner about us not being together.” I explain as I sit down at my desk.

“Good. So long as she doesn’t try to hit on you ever.” Carmilla says.

“She won’t, she knows better.” I say reassuringly.

“Good.” She says.

“Come over after school?” I ask quietly as Mr. Xavier walks in.

“Of course.” She says with a wink.

* * *

“You need to stop with the sugar.” Carmilla says with a laugh.

“Can’t handle a crazy girlfriend?” I ask, watching Carmilla’s cheeks redden, as my eyes grow wide at what I just said. “I mean, we’re not girlfriends, unless you want to be, but maybe you don’t want to be, I didn’t assume that we were, I mean I hope we are, but not today if you don’t want to be today, maybe I should have asked you first rather than just assuming, that’s it I shouldn’t have assumed, I’m sorry, like really sorry for assuming. You don’t want to be my girlfriend, it’s okay if you don’t want to be, I’ll still enjoy your company and all…” I trail off, feeling my cheeks turn hotter.

“Laura, would you like to be my girlfriend?” She asks.

“I would.” I say quietly.

“In that case, yes I can handle a crazy girlfriend.” She says, leaning over to kiss me.

“Carmilla Karnstein, broody and mysterious, snarkiest person I ever met, is my girlfriend.” I say with a smile, kissing her again.

“Laura Hollis, sugar addict of the universe, cutest person to walk the face of the planet, is my girlfriend.” Carmilla chimes, as he smile grows wide.

“You wouldn’t want it any other way.” I say quietly, leaning back against my pillows.

“No, no I wouldn’t.” Carmilla says, leaning against the pillows with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They movie they are talking about is 'Carol', one that I was not a huge fan of... so there's that. Anyway, another chapter down, and thanks for the kudos and what not :)


	6. Something’s Wrong…

**Something’s Wrong…**

 

-Carmilla POV-

I wake up to the scent of floral shampoo; I open my eyes to see the back of Laura’s head. I can’t help but smile slightly at the thought of waking up beside Laura. I brush her hair away from her neck, leaning in to kiss her neck, feeling her shift in her sleep.

“I like being woken up like that.” Laura whispers, turning over to face me with a smile. “Good morning.” She says, opening her eyes.

“Good morning buttercup.” I say quietly, leaning in to kiss her. “How did you sleep?”

“You’re bed is by far the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on.” She chimes with a small laugh.

“Well I don’t know if that is a complement or what, but I hope you haven’t slept in _too_ many bed sweetheart.” I tease.

“I haven’t slept in a lot of beds, I mean overall your bed is just very cozy. I could see myself sleeping in it a lot. Not that I want to force sleeping in the same bed as you, I just mean it would be nice to, once in a while.” She explains, looking away for a moment.

“You can sleep in my bed all you want.” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her.

“Good.” She whispers against my lips. “What are we doing today?” She asks with a smile.

“Whatever you want to do cutie, if it involves a car though we may have to see what my mom is doing, seeing as my dad will never let me drive his truck.” I explain.

“Carmilla!” My dad calls out as he walks into my room. “Good morning girls.” He says.

“Good morning sir.” Laura says politely.

“Morning dad.” I say, sitting up in bed.

“Happy early birthday.” He says, tossing a set of keys on my bed.

“Seriously?” I ask, looking at the keys.

“Yep. Don’t make me regret giving it to you.” He says pointing his finger at me.

“I won’t thanks dad.” I say, getting out of bed and giving him a hug.

“Curfew is eleven during the week, and one AM on weekends.” He says, kissing the side of my head. “I have to get to work, have a good day girls.” He adds, walking out of my room.

“You dad is a very cold guy.” Laura chimes.

“He works a lot, he doesn’t know how to really show emotion, I don’t know.” I shrug. “But he gave me his car.” I say, holding up the keys. “He must have bought a new car yesterday or something. That’s why he wasn’t home all day.”

“When is your birthday?” Laura asks, not seeming to care about anything else.

“November 14th.” I say, walking over to my dresser.

“That’s like three days away! Why didn’t you tell me?” Laura asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“It never came up.” I shrug, shuffling through my drawers.

“It’s your birthday Carm! When it’s just days away it should have came up in conversation! For instance my birthday is Christmas!” Laura says with a smile.

“That must have been a fun gift for your parents.” I say with a laugh.

“It was; they said that I was the best Christmas present ever. And the fun part is that some of my relatives give me an extra present. And my mom lets me have extra cookies.” Laura explains happily.

“You and cookies.” I tease, walking over to her. “Now that I have a car, where are we going?” I say, pushing Laura down on the bed and straddling her hips and leaning in to kiss her.

“I don’t know if I want to go anywhere now.” She whispers, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me.

“Do you know what else is on the fourteenth?” I ask, kissing Laura’s forehead as she looks up at me slightly confused.

“What?” She asks, cocking her head a bit.

“We’ll be together one month on the fourteenth.” I chime, watching Laura’s face light up.

“A whole month already?” She asks in amazement.

“That’s right cupcake.” I say leaning in to kiss her.

“What are you counting as the month though?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“The day you kissed me out of nowhere.” I snicker.

“Why are you laughing?” She asks.

“Because you caught me off guard.” I say.

“It’s not like you didn’t like it.” She says.

“I actually hated it and kissed you back to be nice.” I say sarcastically watching Laura’s face fall a bit. “I’m kidding.”

“You’re mean.” She pouts after I make fun of her.

“I’m not mean.” I say with a laugh, leaning in to kiss the pout away.

“Sometimes you are.” She whispers.

“I’ll apologize in advance then for every time I am mean to you. I will never mean it.” I say reassuringly, leaning in to kiss her.

“Why are you only sweet to me?” She asks innocently.

“Because you’re the only person that matters the most to me.” I say with a smile, watching her eyes tear up a bit. “Those better be happy tears.” I warn playfully.

“They are.” She says quietly, kissing me again.

“Where are we going cutie?” I ask, getting off of her.

“I don’t know. Let’s just go swimming until we think of something. My parents aren’t home.” Laura says, sitting up but resting back on her elbows.

“We can do that.” I say, getting up from the bed. After I get changed we walk over to Laura’s house where she changes quickly before we go out back and into the pool. After a little while of peace and quiet, Laf comes bolting into the backyard and diving into the pool. “What the fuck?” I say when they resurface.

“Oh come on, don’t look so pissed.” They chime, flicking the hair out of their eyes.

“Hi Laf.” Laura says, almost as if this is a reoccurring thing.

“Hello Laura.” They chime, looking over as Perry takes of her close to reveal her bathing suit, then walking into the pool like a normal person.

“LaFontaine gets excited because they are really the only house around that doesn’t have a pool.” Perry explains as she walks over to where Laura and I are.

“Contain the excitement brianiac.” I say.

“Never Dracula.” They say, floating on their back.

“So how are you two?” Perry asks.

“We’re very well.” Laura chimes, looking at me with a smile.

“And everything with Danny?”

“Over with.” Laura says, wrapping an arm around my waist. “She hasn’t bothered with me since I told her, so it’s been okay. How are you and Laf?”

“There’s never a dull moment with LaFontaine.” She says with a small smile. “At least we’ve gone a week without an accident.”

“That’s good.” Laura laughs. Even though I’ve been here for about three months, I still haven’t been able to warm up to anyone other than Laura. There was still something lacking in the way I interact with people, but that doesn’t matter as long as I have Laura. “Are you okay?” She asks me quietly.

“Yes cupcake.” I say quietly, leaning in to kiss her.

“You sure?” She whispers against my lips.

“I’m sure.” I say nodding.

“Okay.” She says with a smile, returning her attention to Perry.

 

-Laura POV-

“I have to go cupcake.” Carmilla whines as I holder her tighter.

“No you don’t.” I object, not budging to let her go.

“I have homework to finish and a test to study for. We spent the entire weekend together.” She says, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning.” She says.

“Fine.” I say dramatically, letting her go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She says quietly, kissing me on the cheek.

“Tomorrow morning.” I say, leaning in to kiss her softly.

“First thing.” She says, kissing me again before taking my hand as I walk her to the door.

“Goodnight.” I say quietly.

“Sweet dreams.” She says, kissing me again. I stand in the doorway and watch until she crosses the street and walks into her house.

* * *

“Good morning.” I chime, skipping over to Carmilla.

“Morning.” She says, kissing me.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, taking her hand and lacing out fingers together.

“Everything’s okay.” She says, looking down as she walks.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yeah.” She says quietly as we continue walking to school. The rest of the walk was done in an awkward silence. The majority of our classes were held in silence between us. She would barely look at me, let alone utter more than two words to me.

“Something’s bothering you.” I say, walking up to her before out last class together, seeing as I don’t see her for the last two periods of the say. “Something’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She says quietly.

“Are we okay?” I ask, placing my hands on her cheeks to look at me.

“We’re okay.” She says with a small nod, leaning in to kiss me softly.

“Will you tell me what happened?” I whisper.

“Not right now. I’ll come over tonight.” She says, kissing me again.

“Okay.” I say, watching her walk into her classroom. Sure enough around nine o’clock that night she texted me to open the door for her that way she wouldn’t have to deal with my parents. I snuck her into the house and up to my room, closing the door and getting into bed. She lies in her side facing me; her face was void of all emotions a she just stared at me. “Is everything okay?” I say, brushing the hair from her face.

“I got a letter the other day, and I didn’t get around to opening it because we were together all weekend, so I opened it when I got home last night…” She says quietly.

“Okay…? Who sent you a letter?” I ask, placing my hand on her hip.

“Ell…” She trails off.

“What did she say?” I ask quietly.

“She is coming here and wants to like get together or something, she wants to talk.”

“And what’s so bad about that?” I ask. 

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to her. Like at all.” She says, looking anywhere else but towards me.

“Okay, well then don’t talk to her, you don’t have to do something you don’t want to do.” I say, placing my hand on her cheek. “Do you still have feelings for her?” I ask.

“No, I don’t. I don’t have feeling for her at all!” Carmilla says, more or less shouts.

“Okay, you don’t need to yell, I believe you.” I say, rubbing my thumb over her cheek. “Why did that have you in such a weird mood today?”

“I didn’t know what you would say, or how you would react. I didn’t want you to get like mad and leave or something.” She explains, looking at me with sad eyes.

“I deal with a lot of your crap and it never gets me mad.” I say lightheartedly. “This is something that wouldn’t bother me Carm. If she came here and started screwing around with you and you went along with it, that would hurt me more than you and her seeing each other to talk.”

“I don’t want to see her at all. I have you, I don’t want to see her, and I don’t need to.” She says, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

“Well there we have it. You got all broody and moody over nothing.” I chime, leaning into kiss her.

“Laura…” Carmilla whispers.

“Yeah?” I say quietly.

“Would it be insane if I said I was falling in love with you?” She asks quietly.

“No, no it wouldn’t.” I say with a smile, leaning in to kiss her again.

“Good.” She whispers against my lips.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Hello Carmilla.” Lisa chimes as she opens the door.

“Hello Lisa.” I say, stepping into the house.

“You’re lucky you’re missing the intimidation my husband brings with him everywhere he goes.” She jokes.

“He means well.” I say, laughing slightly.

“He does. Happy Birthday by the way.” She says, handing me a card.

“Oh you didn’t have to do anything.” I say. “Thank you though.”

“You’re welcome sweetie.” She says walking over to give me a hug. “You know where Laura is.” She adds with a smile. I walk up the stairs and stand in front of Laura’s bedroom door, knocking slightly.

“Yeah?” She calls out; I open the door and walk in to see her putting together something crafty.

“Are you exploring your inner Martha Stewart?” I tease, walking into the room.

“Happy Birthday.” She chimes, walking over to me and wrapping me up into a hug and kissing me.

“Thank you.” I whisper against her lips. “These are for you though.” I say, holding up a bouquet of flowers.

“Thank you.” She says with a sweet smile, smelling the daisies before kissing me on the cheek. “Happy one month, but I think your birthday is a bigger event.” She chimes.

“Well of course my birthday surpasses anything else.” I tease.

“You’re too much.” She says, placing her hand on my chest.

“You love me.” I say, placing my hands on her waist.

“I do love you.” She whispers, kissing me softly. “Are you ready for your surprise?” Laura whispers in my ear.

“Is it a fun surprise?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows.

“It’s a surprise.” Laura says with a shrug. “We have somewhere to be, so we should get going.”

“Yes ma’am.” I say, giving her a quick peck before she leads the way out of her room and into the kitchen.

“Hey mama, can you put these in water?” Laura asks, placing the flowers on the counter.

“Sure sweetie.” Lisa says, taking the bouquet from the counter. “You girls have a good evening.” She adds as we walk out of the kitchen.

“You’re mom gave me a card, I just want to put it in my room so I don’t lose it, can we run to my house quick?’ I ask.

“Seeing as your house is a whole ten seconds away, yes we can.” Laura teases, squeezing my hand a bit. We walk across the street and into my house; seeing as no one was home it was easy to slip in and out without being bombarded by my mom. I run upstairs and throw the card on my desk, closing my door and going back down stairs to see Laura standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at some on the photos that were on the walls of the entry way. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “You were a really cute kid.” Laura chimes, turning her head to look at me as I rested my chin on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” I say, kissing her on the cheek.

“You look like your dad.” She whispers, looking at the picture again.

“Everyone says I look like my father, but I have my mother’s eyes and smile.” I clarify.

“I could see that. It’s funny because Will looks like your mother but has your father’s eyes and smile.” Laura says with a light chuckle.

“Funny how genetics work out.” I chime.

“Your genes are a hell of a lot better than Will’s, that’s for sure.” Laura says, turning in my arms to face me.

“Well aren’t you sweet.” I tease, leaning in to kiss her sweetly.

“We have things to get to.” Laura whispers against my lips.

“Lead the way.” I say, holding out my arm for Laura to take.

“Does this mean you’ll let me drive your Jeep?” Laura asks with a smile.

“You’re funny.” I scoff.

“It was worth a shot.” She shrugs, kissing me before we walk out to my car. After she directed me on where to go, we pulled up in front of an unfamiliar house.

“Why are we in front of this house?” I ask, putting the car in park.

“This is for your birthday. Seeing as you planned for out anniversary.” She chimes, leaning over the console to kiss me. “We don’t have to stay long.” She whispers.

“Is this a surprise party?” I ask, watching Laura look at me wide eyed.

“What no, this isn’t… A surprise party? Why would I throw you a party knowing you may not like it? I mean I never would assume that you would want a party. Did you want a party?” She rambles.

“It’s okay Laura, really.” I say reassuringly, kissing her on the cheek. “Let’s go.” I say, getting out of the car ad walking over to open the door for her.

“Thank you.” She says with a smile, taking my hand in her and intertwining our fingers. “Don’t forget to act surprised please.” Laura says.

“I promise.” I say with a smile, giving Laura a kiss before we walked up to the front door. Laura knocked and opened the door to a dark house. After a moment, the lights went on and everyone in the house yelled “Surprise!” I looked at Laura and genuinely smiled at her, watching her eyes light up at the fact that I was happy at the party she decided to throw me. “Thank you cupcake.” I whisper in her ear, kissing the side of her head as Laf and Perry walked over to us, giving me a hug.

“Happy Birthday Carmilla.” Perry chimes, kissing me on the cheek.

“Yeah, Happy Birthday.” Laf says with a small wave.

“Thanks you guys, I’m assuming Laura convinced you guys to do this.” I say, wrapping my arm around Laura’s waist.

“Of course this was her idea. I wouldn’t think of throwing a surprise party for someone who could rip my throat out.” Laf explains.

“Thanks Laf.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Any time.” They say with a smile, raising their cup to me.

“Do you want something to drink?” Perry asks, leading Laura and I to the kitchen.

“No thanks Per, Carm and I still have our anniversary plans.” Laura says, placing her hand on my chest.

“You heard the lady.” I say with a smile and a nod.

“Oh, I forgot you mentioning that.” Perry says. “Happy Anniversary. You two can leave whenever you want to, this party really turned into an average party. Anyway, I have to go find Laf before they blow something up.” Perry adds, walking out of the kitchen.

“Do I have to show my face to everyone?” I ask, turning to face Laura.

“I think you might, but we could always just sneak away.” Laura says quietly.

“I like your idea better.” I say, leaning in to kiss her.

“Well I have to show my face a bit, then we can leave.” Laura chimes.

“Ah, senior class President duties.” I tease, watching her roll her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” She says, playing with my hair. “It will be done with soon. I’ll show my face then we can go.” She adds, kissing me on the cheek before leaving me in the kitchen. After a few minutes, I walk out to the back yard, seeing as the music in the house was giving me a headache.

“Hey Carmilla.” A familiar voice says from the back door. I turn around in my chair to see Ell standing there with a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” I scoff, turning my back to the door.

“I got a call from a friend that said they were at a party, I figured you’d probably show up.” She says as she walks over to me.

“Yeah well, I’m not going to be here too much longer so…” I say, not looking at her.

“How have you been?” She asks.

“I’m good. Look I have to go so, it was nice seeing you.” I say getting up from the chair.

“Carmilla wait.” Ell says, grabbing my wrist.

“What do you want?” I say, pulling my hand back.

“To apologize.” She says quietly.

“For what? You had to go with your parents, there is nothing to apologize for.” I say, walking towards the house.

“My parents never went anywhere, I – I needed to get away…” She trails off.

“Carm?” Laura asks, walking up to me and taking my hand in hers.

“You’re together?” Ell asks, pointing between Laura and I.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.” Laura says, squeezing my hand a little.

“We break up and you end up with her?” Ell asks, trying to hold in a laugh.

“You left, do you not remember that? And apparently you lied about the reason you were leaving. I don’t care what the reason what, but it’s over with. I have to go.” I say, pulling Laura along with me back to my car.

“Are you okay?” Laura asks as we walk to my car. “Carm?” She says, trailing behind me. “Carmilla!”

“What!” I shout, spinning around to look at her. “What do you want Laura?”

“I – I want to know that you’re okay…” She says, her eyes filling with tears.

“I’m okay.” I say quietly, running my thumb across Laura’s cheek. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” I add, kissing her cheek.

“It’s okay.” She says quietly, her chin quivering a bit.

“It’s not okay, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, seeing Ell just made me frustrated.” I say, taking her hands in mine.

“Okay.” She whispers, looking down at the ground.

“I am _very_ sorry.” I say, tilting her chin up to look at me.

“I know.” She says quietly, leaning in to kiss me.

“We still have a date to attend.” I chime, kissing her again.

“That we do.” She says with a smile leading the way to my car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little all over the place-ish, but all goes along with the story :)


	7. How Does it Feel…?

**How Does it Feel…?**

-Laura POV-

“So you are Carmilla are the school’s new power couple.” Laf chimes in my ear as I put books in my locker.

“Okay, so?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“So? So everyone is calling you Hollstein! You already have a celebrity couple name!” They shout excitedly.

“Okay, apparently you’re the only one that cares about it.” I say, closing my locker.

“Where is your other half anyway?” Laf asks, stuffing their hands in their pockets.

“Carm said she was going to be late today, she really didn’t say why, all she said was she’ll see me second period.” I explain walking to English.

“Alrighty then, I’ll see you at lunch.” Laf says, walking in the opposite direction. English seemed to take longer than necessary without having Carmilla in class. Rather than being an average forty minutes it seemed to last an hour or more. When the bell rang I nearly ran out of the classroom, making it just out the door when I feel someone pull at my wrist and into a kiss.

“I’m sorry I was late.” Carmilla says quietly.

“It’s okay.” I say, kissing her again. “Good morning by the way.” I chime with a smile.

“Good morning to you.” She says, holding up a small, neatly wrapped box.

“What’s this?” I ask, taking the box from her.

“I felt bad that I didn’t get you anything last week for our one month, seeing as I really didn’t have the money at the time. But then yesterday I went to the mall with Will and I saw this and needed to get it for you, like I really couldn’t leave it there…” Carmilla says nervously. “I just sounded like you.” She adds with a nervous laugh.

“It’s okay.” I say kissing her cheek. I look at the box for a second before tearing at the paper to reveal a small black velvet box; I flip the top and see a small cupcake charm necklace. It looked cheap, like something for a novelty jewelry store, but I still couldn’t help but smile.

“I know it’s dorky and cheap, but it made me think of you right away and I couldn’t leave it there, and I had the box on hand so I thought it would be nicer than just handing it to you.” She says, taking the necklace out of the box and putting it on me. “If the chain turns your neck green or something, I apologize in advance.” She teases, leaning in to kiss me.

“I think it’s the cutest thing in the world. Thank you.” I say with a smile.

“Yeah, well if anyone asks, you had it all along and just decided to wear it.” Carmilla whispers in my ear before kissing the side of my hand and taking my hand in hers as we walk to statistics.

“Why did you come in late today?” I ask quietly as we sat down at our seats.

“I had some homework to finish up late last night and when you texted me this morning I didn’t see it right away, by the time I did I would have had to rush, so it was easier to come in now.” She explains.

“Oh, okay.” I say, drawing my attention to the teacher.

“Are you okay?” She asks quietly.

“Yeah Carm.” I say, taking notes.

 

-Carmilla POV- 

“Hey cupcake.” I say with a smile as Laura walks over to where I parked my car. “Is everything okay?” I ask as she wraps her arms around me.

“My mom texted me saying that I got a few letters from colleges in the mail today.” She mumbles against my chest.

“Is that a good thing or bad thing?” I ask kissing the top of her head.

“It could be either.” She says looking up at me.

“So, let’s get you home and find out what the verdict is.” I say, kissing her softly.

“Okay.” She whispers with a small smile, kissing me again.

“Awe, look at the two lovebirds.” Laf chimes as they walk over to us hand in hand with Perry.

“You’re annoying.” I snap, holding Laura closer to me.

“Be nice.” Laura says quietly.

“Sorry.” I say, looking down at Laura and kissing the top of her head.

“How does it feel being the most popular couple in school?” Laf chimes, crossing their arms over their chest with a smirk.

“Annoying.” I snap.

“Come on Carm, sorry Laf, I have to get home.” Laura says, walking me around to the passenger side door. “Look at me.” She says quietly, placing her hands on my cheeks.

“What?” I say quietly, looking at her.

“I know you don’t like being an open person about things, I mean, I know you like to keep to yourself and all, this must be different for you.” She says, rambling slightly.

“I just want to crawl under a rock again and go unnoticed.” I say quietly. “The beauty of traveling all the time was the power I had to go unnoticed for a long time, knowing that I’m going to be in one place makes that harder.” I whisper. “And to think you may be going somewhere far for college while I’m stuck for a semester here…” I trail off.

“Everything will be okay.” Laura says with a smile.

“I’ve only known you for three months, and it feels like I’ve known you forever.” I whisper, resting my forehead on hers.

“I know the feeling.” She says with a small smile. “Now the over achiever in me applied to colleges super early and has responses waiting in the kitchen.” Laura chimes. “Let’s go.” She adds, kissing me before I open the door for her.

 

-Laura POV-

“Which one are you going to open first?” Carmilla asks as we look at the envelopes in front of me.

“Whichever one I pick first, if I get accepted that’s where I’m going. I’m not going to look at the others.” I say looking up at my mom.

“Whatever you decide to do sweetie, it’s up to you when it comes to your life.” My mom says with a smile.

“Okay.” I say taking a deep breath and grabbing the letter from UCLA. “Seeing as this school was my first choice.” I say, opening the envelope.

“Well?” Carmilla asks, placing her hand on my thigh.

“I got in.” I say happily.

“Congratulations cupcake.” Carmilla says, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my cheek. “At lease you won’t be far.” She whispers in my ear, sounding slightly selfish.

“Congratulations sweetheart.” My mom chimes, giving me a big hug. “I’m very proud of you.” She says kissing the side of my head. “Are you sure you don’t want to look at the others, just to see you’re options?” She asks, gesturing to the other three envelopes. I think about it for a moment before opening the other three, sure enough I got accepted to Penn State, USC, and even NYU.

“You got into all of them.” Carmilla states rather than asks.

“Your girlfriend is quite smart.” I chime with a smile.

“Well don’t I know how to pick ‘em?” Carmilla chimes, kissing me again. After a little while of talking to my mom, Carmilla and I make our way up to my room.

“Open door in case your father gets home!” My mom calls up the stairs.

“So what are you doing to do?” Carmilla asks as she plops down on my bed.

“What do you mean?” I ask, sitting down beside her.

“Which one are you going to go to?” She asks quietly.

“I’m not sure, I have a little bit of time to choose, where do you think I should go?” I ask, patting her thigh.

“Where ever you want to go. I don’t want you to think you have to stay here for me or something.” She says.

“Well I wouldn’t do that.” I say, not realizing the choice of words until they reached my ears.

“Well it’s nice to know that you would go to school across the country rather than staying here with me.” Carmilla says, sitting up in my bed.

“Aren’t you selfish? Do you really think I’d put my life on hold while you figured out what you were doing with yours?” I ask, getting off of the bed.

“No I don’t expect you to do that, but I don’t expect us to not talk about this either.” She explains.

“There is nothing to talk about Carmilla.” I say, running my fingers through my hair.

“So our relationship means nothing?” She asks, getting up from my bed.

“Don’t twist it Carmilla, please.” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Well downstairs you said you were going to go to UCLA, but now I can tell you’re second guessing it since you got into the other schools.” She states, placing her hands on her hips.

“Maybe I really want to go to Penn or NYU, what difference would that make?”

“It would make it hard for us to be together!”

“We’ve only been together for a _month_ Carmilla! There is nothing to talk about right now when it comes to the longevity of our relationship.” I say, trying not to get mad. “Why are you overacting any way?”

“I want to be with you as long as possible.” She confesses.

“And my education should be the wedge that _you_ create between us.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“How am I creating the wedge?” She asks, walking towards the door.

“You’re making it seem like my choice of school is going to be detrimental to our relationship, when meanwhile if you loved me as much as you seem to, you would want me to get the best education and do what I want to do in my life. You would want to join me in the journey, not hold me back. And if you think just because you’re going to be stuck here in some community college doesn’t mean you have to end there, you can do a semester or two and transfer to where ever I am. We could make this work Carm.” I say, walking over to her.

“Well I don’t know what I want to do.” She says quietly.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

“I know what I want to do when it comes to college… I – I may go into the military…” She trails off.

“And when were you going to tell me this?” I ask, trying not to get mad.

“When I really had the idea as to what I was going to do.” She says quietly, not looking at me.

“So what’s logical about being mad if I go to school on the East Coast, when you could be shipped of to Iraq as soon as you get out of basic?” I say, taking a step back from her.

“I wouldn’t know if I would get sent there right away…” Carmilla explains.

“Okay, so it’s okay for me to worry about you getting killed, but not okay for me to go to school three time zones away?”

“Don’t say it like that.” Carmilla sighs.

“How do you want me to say it?” I ask, throwing my hands up in there air.

“Look I don’t want to fight with you.” Carmilla says quietly.

“Okay, you can leave then…” I say, rubbing my face.

“Seriously?” She asks.

“Seriously, you can leave.” I say, pointing to the door.

“Fine.” She says, grabbing her phone from the bed and walking out of the room, I slam the door behind her and throw myself on my bed. After a little while there was a light knock on my door.

“Laura?” My mom asks, poking her head in through the door.

“Yeah mom?” I ask, turning around on my bed to look at her.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, sitting down at the foot of my bed.

“Yeah, Carmilla was just being selfish and I told her to leave. She thinks it’s okay for her to think about joining the military, but it isn’t okay for me to go to school across the country if I decided to.” I explain.

“I can see where you’d be mad.” My mom says. “Can I just say one thing?”

“You’re going to say it whether I want to hear it or not.” I say.

“Yeah well, when you become a mother and have this issues to deal with you’ll have the same privilege. Anyway, Carmilla looks at you the way your father looks at me. She cares deeply for you, and regardless of what choices you two make, if you truly care for each other, then you two will find the means to work this little issue out. I’m not telling you to hold back from being a journalist, but I’m not agreeing with Carmilla in the sense of wanting you to stay here. What I am saying is that if both of you end up doing your own think and some how meet somewhere in the middle again, that it means you two are meant to be.” My mom rambles.

“I think I get what you mean mom.” I say, trying to wrap my mind around it. “Regardless of what we do for careers, if we are meant to end up together, we will.”

“Exactly, I just of course had to ramble that all.” She says light heartedly. “Don’t let the future ruin the now. You and Carmilla seem to have a good thing going, and discussing the future shouldn’t ruin that right now. You have a few weeks to make up your mind, and then a few months to really get everything all together.”

“I know mom.” I say quietly.

“I know you’ll do what’s right.” She says, getting up and kissing the top of my head before leaving the room and closing the door.

 

-Carmilla POV-

I walk through the front door trying not to slam it shut on my way in as I stomp up the stairs to my room, happy for the fact that no one was home at the moment. I slam my bedroom door, seeing as it won’t shake anything off of the walls. I take a deep breath before sitting on the floor with my back against the door. After a few minutes I hear the doorbell ring, I sigh and get up to get the door. I open the door. “What do you want?”


	8. What’s Going on Here…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is split between time, as you'll see. I felt like moving things along and that's why I did it the way I did. I feel like I should let you know that this story won't be as long as I originally intended it to be... Unless the feeling for this story comes back soon, I don't know when the next update will be...

**What’s Going on Here…**

 

-Carmilla POV-

“What do you want?” I ask when I open the door and see Ell standing on the step.

“To talk.” She says quietly.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you.” I say closing the door.

“Come on Carmilla! Just let me talk to you.” She calls out. I open the door.

“Why? Look I’m already pissed off from this day as it is, and I don’t think talking to you about whatever it is you want to talk about is a good idea.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I’m sorry I left and didn’t tell you the real reason why.” She says, looking down at her feet.

“You told me this already, why are you really here?” I ask.

“I wanted to see you again before I left.” She says, looking up at me.

“Yeah well, you’re better off leaving again and not saying anything, it’s easier to deal with.” I say, looking over her shoulder to see Laura walking across the street, she looks up and cocks an eyebrow.

“Uhm, hi.” Laura says, walking up behind Ell.

“What do you want?” I ask.

“To talk to you about what happened earlier.” She says, looking up at me. I sigh and open the door for her.

“Go up to my room.” I say in her ear and kissing her cheek.

“Do you want me to stay?” She asks quietly.

“No, it’s okay, she’s going to go soon.” I say with a small smile.

“Are you sure?” Laura asks softly, placing her hand on my cheek.

“I’m sure.” I say, watching her smile shyly before kissing me and looking out the front door.

“She left.” Laura says quietly.

“Wow, she’s a pain in the ass.” I say, closing the door when I see that Ell was in fact not standing there anymore. “I’m sorry about earlier.” I say, taking her hand in mine and leading her up to my room.

“I’m sorry too, but if you don’t know what you’re going to do with your life, I don’t think you should be upset with what I choose to do, besides you’re smart, you’ll be able to transfer to where ever I go after a semester or two.” Laura says, sitting down on my bed.

“I know.” I say quietly, lying down next to her.

“Then why would you plan on going into the military?” She says, lying down.

“Because I know how rewarding the lifestyle can be. I get to travel the world, live in new cities experience culture…” I trail off.

“All at the cost of being thrown into war any minute.” Laura huffs. “I don’t want to worry about you.” She says quietly.

“I don’t expect you to worry about me.” I say, brushing the hair out of her face.

“How could you say that?” Laura asks, sitting up again.

“We’ve only been together for just over a month. You seem to be relating this back to forever or something…” I say quietly, turning to lie on my back and look up at the ceiling. “Not that I don’t want to be with you like that, because I do. I would like to, but life will get in the way and I don’t think we should get too serious if we’re going to be going to paths that don’t match up.” I explain.

“So you think we should break up?” Laura asks.

“I don’t think that.” I say, shaking my head. “I just think we should let life take us where it may, and if that means we don’t see each other for a while, we shouldn’t let the effect us.”

“Okay.” Laura says quietly.

“Okay.” I say with a nod.

“So this means I’m going to Penn State and you can do with your life as you please.” Laura says getting up from my bed.

“Okay.” I repeat, watching her walk over to the window.

“What’s going on, why are you acting like this?” Laura asks, shaking her head slightly.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I care about you, I care about us, but knowing that you have it all together and I don’t… I don’t want to waste your time.” I say quietly.

“If I felt like you were a waste of time, I would have never pursued you.” Laura says, walking over to me.

“I pursued you cupcake. I was going to stop at nothing to have you.” I say with a small smile. “There was something about you that drove me crazy. I – I needed you.” I whisper.

“If you need me so much, why are you letting me go?” Laura asks, wrapping her arms around me.

“In order for me to have you again, I have to let you go on with what you want to do, if that means going away to school so be it.” I shrug.

“Don’t go into the military.” She mumbles against my chest. I don’t want to worry about you.” She adds, looking up at me.

“I’ll think about it.” I say, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll let you know what I’m going to do before the New Year.”

“Okay.” She says quietly, kissing me on the cheek. “I want us to be okay.”

“We will be okay, I promise.” I say, kissing her softly.

“Okay.” Laura whispers against my lips before kissing me again.

 

 **_*5 Years Later_ ** **_*_ **

****

“There’s my little soldier.” My dad chimes as I walk through the terminal.

“Hi dad.” I say, walking over to hug him tight.

“How are you?” He asks, holding me by the shoulder and looking at me proudly.

“I’m doing okay dad.” I say, looking over his shoulder to see my mom standing behind him with tears in her eyes.

“Hey mama.” I say, walking over to give her a tight hug.

“My little girl.” She chimes, kissing me on the cheek. “You’re in one piece.”

“I told you I would come back in one piece.” I say with a smile.

“I know, but reading it in a letter that took a week to get here is different than seeing you here in person.” She says, hugging me again.

“How long are you going to be home?” My dad asks as we walk towards the exit and pulls my bag on his shoulder.

“I have a while actually, I think I’m here for a year, but you know what happens.” I say, rolling my eyes. “How is everything here?” I ask, getting into the back seat.

“Will is going to school, he wants to make movies or something, and he’s good at it either way.” My mom says.

“That’s good.” I say, looking out the window at the familiar landscape. After a little while, my dad turns onto our street and pulls into the driveway. I get out of the car and look across the street and the familiar house. I look up to see the yellow curtains were pulled back and the window was wide open, I smile to myself.

“You can go.” I hear my mom say behind me. I turn to look at her. “She’s been asking about you. Go.” She says, waving her hand at me. I take a deep breath and walk across the street, ringing the doorbell.

“Well if it isn’t Carmilla Karnstein.” Sherman chimes as he opens the door.

“Hello sir.” I say, standing with my arms behind my back.

“You’re still afraid of me kid?” He asks with a laugh.

“I sure am. Drill sergeants weren’t as intimidating as you sir.” I say, with a smile.

“Well I call that a success. Laura is in her room working.” He says, stepping aside to allow me to walk into the house. “If you’re quiet enough, you’ll be able to surprise her. If she sounds like she’s going to break the keyboard then you may want to knock.” He explains as I walk up the stair to the familiar bedroom door, I open the door to see her sitting at her desk, typing away at her keyboard. A lot has changed about the room, there aren’t as many Doctor Who posters around, and some of the stuffed animals disappeared. I take the room in for a moment longer before making myself know.

“What’s going on here cupcake?” I say quietly. Watching as her head shoots up and her fingers stop their assault on the plastic. She turns in her chair slowly, her eyes widen in amazement as she begins to smile widely. Laura jumps out of her seat and rushes over to me, nearly tackling me into a hug. “You still smell the same.” I whisper into the top of her head.

“You still sound the same.” She says, pressing her ear to my chest. Laura smiles looking up and me and placing her hand on my cheeks. “You still look the same.” She whispers.

“You look just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.” I say, running my fingers through her hair.

“Are you okay? Do you want anything?” She asks, I smile at her and shake my head.

“I’m alright cupcake. I literally got home and came right over here.” I say, not wanting to let her go.

“Do you want to change?” She asks, letting go of me and walking over to the bottom drawer of her dresser. Laura pulls out a pair of black skinny jeans, and an old band t-shirt of mine.

“You still have these?” I ask, taking them from her with a smile.

“I do, now you can go change if you want to.” Laura says with a smile. I kiss the side of her head and walk out of her room and into the bathroom to change.

“These pants are loose on me now.” I say, walking back into Laura’s room. 

“They are, that shirt is even a little big.” Laura says, pulling at the clothes to see.

“I’ve been working out a lot lately, and lost some weight so that’s probably why.” I shrug; pulling the shirt up to expose my toned midsection, teasing Laura and watching her face turn red.

“Uhm.” She says, her eyes not leaving my stomach.

“What’s wrong cupcake?” I tease, dropping my shirt.

“Uhm.” She repeats, cocking an eyebrow.

“This is fun.” I say, taking a step towards her and placing my hands on her waist.

“Teasing me?” She asks, placing her hands on the back of my neck.

“Exactly.” I chime, leaning in to kiss her.

“You’re still a jerk I see.” She whispers against my lips before kissing me again.

“I sure am.” I chime kissing her again.

“What do you want to do?” She asks, looking up at me with a smile.

“I want nothing more than to be here with you, but I am starving.” I say, kissing her forehead.

“Do you want to go out or I can cook something for you.” Laura says.

“Whoa, you can cook?” I ask.

“Going away to school and living in an on campus apartment after my freshmen year I learned how to cook. I lived off of cookies and soda for my first year of college, I got so sick that I learned to cook and haven’t touched a cookie since.” Laura explains with a smile.

“You haven’t touched a cookie in five years? I find that the biggest lie ever.” I say with a small laugh.

“Okay so I still eat cookies, just not as much as I used to.” She chimes, kissing me on the cheek. “So cook or out?”

“By all means cook.” I say with a smile, following her down into the kitchen.

“Is that Carmilla?” Lisa asks happily.

“Hi Lisa.” I say as she walks over and gives me a big hug.

“How are you? Is everything okay? You can back in one piece. Thank goodness, how long are you home for?” She asks, hugging me again.

“I was given a year, but you never know. I’m doing okay, and of course as promised I am in one piece. How is everything with you? Laura wrote me telling me you weren’t doing too good.” I say quietly, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I had a cancer scare but I have been in remission for four years now, they caught it early.” Lisa says quietly.

“Well thank goodness for that. Someone needs to keep Laura in check.” I tease.

“Well you’re home so Sherman and I are off of that hook.” She says with a laugh.

“Hey, I’m nearly twenty-three, I can take care of myself you know.” Laura says as she chops up vegetables.

“Of course you can cupcake, look at you cutting up vegetables, making me dinner.” I chime, walking over to her and wrapping my arm around her shoulder and kissing the side of her head.

“Ha ha.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“Be a good sport.” I whisper in her ear. “I want to go to the beach after dinner, it will be nice to go somewhere where there is sand _and_ water.” 

“We can do that.” Laura says with a smile before kissing me.

 

-Laura POV-

After we eat dinner, Carmilla runs home quick to get a couple of things before we get in her car and go to the beach to see the sunset. Carmilla sat behind me on the blanket with her arms wrapped around me, with her chin on my shoulder, kissing my neck softly. “I missed you so much cupcake.” She whispers in my ear.

“I missed you too Carm.” I say, turning my head to look at her. She smiles at me before kissing me softly.

“Wanna know something?” She chimes.

“What?”

“I love you.” Carmilla says quietly, watching me.

“I love you too.” I say with a smile, leaning in to kiss her.

“You know, seeing as this is the first time I’ve heard you say it in five years, it makes me happy to know that you we can still say it.” She whispers.

“I do love you Carm, there isn’t anything that would change that. Even after you being away, I never lost the feeling.” I say, placing my hand on her cheek.

“I love you too Laura. I – I want to ask you something. You don’t need to give me an answer, you don’t have to really say anything, and I’m a little unprepared for it, but…” She trails off, looking out over the ocean.

“Carm, just ask me already.” I tease.

“Do you wanna move in together? Like find an apartment somewhere, anywhere.” She says, avoiding eye contact with me.

“What happens if you have to go away?” I ask quietly.

“I want you to come with me.” She whispers. “I want you to come with me if you can and then we always have our apartment to come home to…”

“I don’t know Carm. I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick up and move all the time.” I say, breaking away from her hold.

“You’ll get to travel the world for nothing, you’ll get to see all the cities you can imagine. I won’t have to pick up all the time. But I don’t want to be without you again.” She explains.

“I’d have to think about it Carmilla.” I say quietly. 

“Okay.” She says with a small nod, leaning to kiss me on the forehead.


	9. I’m sorry…

**I’m sorry…**

-Carmilla POV-

“Cupcake?” I call out as I walk into the short hallway of our apartment and into the living room to find her sitting on the couch working.

“What’s up Carm?” She says with a pencil in her mouth.

“We need to talk.” I say, sitting down beside her.

“What do we need to talk about?” She asks with a sigh as she closes her laptop and takes the pencil from her mouth.

“It isn’t anything bad, I promise.” I say with a small smile, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear.

“What is it then?” She asks, resting her head on the back of the couch.

“I wanted to talk about maybe going away for a little while.” I say.

“Where is it you want to go?” Laura asks with a small smirk.

“Anywhere you want to go of course.” I chime, sitting back more on the couch.

“Let’s go to France.” Laura says, cocking an eyebrow.

“Okay.” I shrug, taking her laptop.

“Wait, you’re serious?” She asks, looking over my shoulder.

“Did any of it sound like I was kidding?” I scoff, looking up flights and hotels.

“Why the sudden need for a vacation?” She asks, kissing the side of my head.

“I want to do something nice with you. I was away for so long and now I have the time to make up what I missed with you, and I want to take you somewhere you want to go.” I explain, looking up at her and smiling.

“Okay.” She chimes, kissing me deeply. “I love you.” She whispers against my lips.

“I love you too.” I say, kissing her again.

“So when are we going?” Laura asks with a smile.

“I set everything up so that we can leave Monday.” I explain while I finalize everything on the computer.

“You are the best.” Laura says with a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I say with a smile, kissing her on the cheek.

 

-Laura POV-

“Oh my gosh Carm, that’s The Eiffel Tower!” I chime as I walk out onto the balcony of our hotel room.

“And you know how to point out things that are obvious.” Carmilla teases, walking up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my neck.

“Don’t be mean.” I say, turning to look at her.

“I apologized for being mean all those years ago, remember?” She whispers in my ear.

“I do remember.” I say with a small smile. “I’m surprised you remember.” I tease.

“I remember everything I’ve ever said to you.” She informs me, kissing me sweetly. “So, what do you want to do first?”

“Sleep.” I say, resting my forehead against her cheek.

“Okay.” She says, taking me by the hand and leading the way over to the large bed. We fall onto it, not bothering to get under the covers or change our clothes from the flight. I wake up a couple of hours later and turn to see Carmilla was still sound asleep. I yawn, looking at the clock on the bedside table to see that it read five o’clock in the evening. I lean over and kiss her cheek, then her forehead, and her nose. “Hello to you too cupcake.” Carmilla says with a lazy smile.

“How did you sleep?” I ask, sitting up in bed.

“Very well.” Carm says, sitting up beside me and kissing the side of my head. “So what would you like to do?” She asks with a smile as she gets out of bed.

“Let’s go get something to eat.” I chime.

“Whatever you want to do.” Carmilla chimes before walking into the bathroom. After we decided to change, Carmilla and I were walking hand in hand on the streets of Paris looking for somewhere to eat. We eventually ended up at some bistro not far from The Eiffel Tower, so naturally I made sure we ate as fast as we could before we went to see the tower up close. “You better be happy cupcake, especially since you made me nearly choke down the rest of my dinner.” Carmilla says as she squeezes my hand a bit.

“I’m very happy.” I say, looking at her with a smile and leaning in to kiss her. “Can we take a cheesy picture?” I ask, watching Carmilla roll her eyes before she smiles.

“Of course.” She sighs, taking her phone out of her pocket and backing up so I can have a picture that looks like I’m holding The Eiffel Tower. “Happy?” She asks, holding up her phone fore me to see the picture.

“Very.” I chime, kissing her on the cheek as she puts her phone away. “I love you.” I whisper against her lips as I kiss her again.

“I love you too.” She says quietly, resting her forehead against mine. “I love you so much.” She whispers before kissing me again.

“You’re such a sap Private Karnstein.” I tease.

“Yeah, yeah.” She says, rolling her eyes. “I just want you to know that I love you. I want you to be reminded as much as possible cupcake.” Carmilla says quietly as she starts to fidget.

“I know Carm.” I say, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear.

“You know, you’ve been there for me through a lot, like a hell of a lot, and I always knew while I was away that I would come home to you, I would come home and you’d be waiting for me no matter what, you were always going to be there. I know that I worry you with the things I decided to do with my life, and my career will always be something that scares you, but you know me cupcake, if I have you I will always come home to you, I will always find my way back to you, I will never leave you from being careless on the battlefield, I will never leave you from second guessing myself in the middle of a horrible situation. I will never leave you period and I want you to remember that.” She rambles, furrowing her eyebrow as she speaks.

“I know Carmilla, I believe you and you know that I will never leave you either, I will never walk away from you.” I say, placing my hand on her cheek.

“And I will never walk away from you, I don’t ever plan on it, but I do plan on something else.” She says, breaking way from my embrace as she reaches into her pocket and gets down on her knee. My hands fly to cover my mouth as tears begin to fall down my cheeks as I look down to see Carmilla smiling and holding open a ring box to me. “Laura.” She begins, pulling at my elbow to take my hand in hers. “Miss Laura Jane Hollis, will you marry me?” She asks with the most genuine smile I’ve seen from her in a long time. The only response I had for her was to nod, seeing as all vocabulary has escaped me at the moment. “That’s a yes?” She teases as she slips the ring on my finger, standing up and wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me into a tight hug.

“I love you.” I whisper, looking into her eyes and kissing her deeply.

“I love you too.” She says, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

“Oh don’t cry.” I say with a small laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“You’re over here sobbing and you’re telling me not to cry?” Carmilla says with a laugh.

“I can’t believe you’re such a clichéd dork proposing in front of The Eiffel Tower.” I say, placing my hands at the back of her neck.

“Had you wanted to go to Tahiti, I would have proposed on the beach. If we went to London, I would have waited until we go to the top of The Eye and proposed, or if we were in the countryside, I would have proposed in front of an old castle or something. The location doesn’t matter, it would have been clichéd no matter what.” She explains shyly.

“You’re too good to me.” I say with a smile, kissing her again. “Why didn’t you wait to do it, why did you do it the first night we’re here?” I ask curiously.

“So that way we can enjoy being engaged for a couple of days without having to make the announcement right away, at least now we can wait until we’re home to tell everyone and enjoy being fiancées for a little while.” She explains.

“Well _fiancée_ , I would like to go back to the hotel.” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her.

“Okay _fiancée_.” She says playfully, kissing me again before taking me by the hand and walking back to the hotel.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Laura, we have been in this bed for a day and a half, I would like to see some more of Paris before we have to leave the day after tomorrow.” I say as she tries to burrow into my side, wrapping her arms around me tightly, and nuzzling her face into the crook of my neck.

“But this bed has been fun.” She mumbles against my neck.

“Yes but when we get back and the ginger squad bothers us for pictures, the only one we have is of you holding up The Eiffel Tower and the kissing selfie of us in front of it.” I say, running my fingers through her hair.

“Fine.” She sighs, kissing the side of my neck before dislocating herself from me. “What do you want to do?” She asks, resting her head in the pillow.

“I want to go to The Louvre.” I say.

“You’re an old person trapped in the body of a twenty-four-year old.” She teases.

“Is that a complaint? Are you complaining that I’m _hot_ and _intelligent_?” I ask, watching her face turn red from embarrassment.

“N-no.” She says, seeming to bite her tongue to stop from rambling.

“I’m only kidding cupcake, now let’s shower and get dressed, I think it would be nice to do a few things today at least.” I chime, leaning over and kissing her.

“Okay.” She whispers against my lips before kissing me again. After we finally made it out of the hotel and to the museum, Laura and I walk around hand in hand taking in the culture and art. “Carm I’m bored.” Laura complains.

“We’ve been here for like an hour and barely got through half of this place.” I say.

“I know but this isn’t my thing, it’s yours.” She pouts. I pull her into a secluded corner for a moment and kiss her.

“Let’s just walk around a little more, then we can go.” I say quietly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Okay.” She says quietly before kissing me again. A couple of hours go by and Laura and I decided it was enough. We leave the museum and walk past a bakery. “Carm, look! Macaroons, I want some.” Laura says excitedly.

“You are five.” I tease, kissing the side of her head and opening the door for her to walk into the bakery.

 

-Laura POV-

“Come on cupcake.” Carmilla says as we walk through the airport.

“If I don’t get my dad a corny t-shirt he’s going to be annoyed.” I say, stopping at one of the dopey airport gift shops.

“Sweetheart we got him enough stuff while we were away, now I don’t know about you, but I would like to go home to our own bed.” Carmilla says, taking me by the hand and dragging me to baggage claim where my parents were waiting for us.

“Hi mom.” I say as I walk up to her and giving her a hug while Carmilla hugged my dad before we switched.

“So how was your trip?” My dad asks with a wide smile.

“It was nice. I enjoyed getting away for a week.” I say as I feel Carmilla take my hand, intertwining our fingers.

“Did anything interesting happen?” My mother chimes, looking at Carmilla and I with a wide smile.

“Did you?” I ask, watching Carmilla get a guilty look on her face.

“Did you think I wouldn’t ask your father permission?” She says, kissing the side of my head. “She did say yes by the way.” Carmilla adds with a smile, looking over at my parents.

“Oh congratulations!” My mom shrieks, wrapping Carmilla and I into a hug.

“Congratulations sweetie.” My dad says giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head. “Welcome to the family Carmilla.” He says, holding his hand out for her to shake.

“Thank you sir.” Carmilla says with a smile. After we went out to lunch and told my parents about our trip, Carmilla and I were dropped off at our apartment. As much as I liked being away, it was nice to finally be home. We unpacked a few things, mainly the souvenirs.

“Hey cupcake.” Carmilla says quietly, walking through the doorway towel drying her hair as she sits on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, looking up at her to see she looked upset.

“I have to tell you something, and if there was any way around it I would say no, but I have to….” She trails off, looking at me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry Laura.”

“You have to go away?” I ask, sitting down on the bed beside her.

“Yes, I have to do a year in the Middle East.” She says, taking her hands in mine.

“When did you get this news?”

“Honestly, I got it before we left.” Carmilla says quietly.

“Is that why you planned the trip?” I say, getting up from the bed.

“I wanted to do something nice before dropping the tour bomb on you. It will be a quick year, I promise, everything will be okay. I’ll be there a back before you know it.” She says, getting up and walking over to me.

“Why couldn’t you be honest with me before we left?”

“You know that would have ruined things from us. You would have been thinking about it the whole time, rather than relaxing…” Carmilla trails off.

“What about getting engaged? Was that part of the plan?” I ask, looking down at the ring on my finger.

“Don’t think for one second it was like that. I love you and I want to be with you for a long time, that’s why I proposed, not to say ‘let’s get married, but wait I have to leave once we get home. Have fun.’” She says. “I want to plan the best wedding in the world with you, and I just have to do this one thing before we have the chance to follow through with it.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.” I say, putting my hands up in surrender before storming out of our room and locking myself in the bathroom.

“Come on Laura. I’m sorry I told you like this, I should have thought this out better.” She says from the other side of the door.

“When do you leave?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Next Tuesday…” Carmilla says quietly.

“So we literally have a week together before you’re gone for a year. I have to go back to work Carm, this isn’t fair.” I say, feeling a lump form in my throat as tears threaten to fall.

“I know it isn’t fair, but it comes with the territory, I was lucky enough to get to work here in the states for as long as I have. I’m really sorry cupcake.” She says as I hear a thump against the door.

“Whatever.” I scoff, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.


	10. We'll be okay...

**We’ll be okay…**

-Laura POV-

“Cupcake, you’re going to have to let me go sooner or later.” Carmilla says with a small laugh as we lie in bed.

“I don’t want you to go.” I mumble against her bare chest.

“I’m sorry.” Carmilla whispers into my hair before kissing the top of my head. “If I didn’t have to go I wouldn’t.”

“I know.”

“Don’t cry, if you cry, I’ll cry and it won’t be a good thing.” She teases, brushing the tears from my cheeks.

“Maybe I want you to cry so you feel bad and stay.” I say quietly, feeling a lump form in my throat.

“I know. I’m sorry, I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry.” Carmilla says, tears forming in her eyes. “I love you, I love you so much.” She whispers, leaning in to kiss me.

“I love you too. It’s just not fair, we’ve been living together for a year and all, and this time it just seems so much harder than last time.”

“It’s only a year, it will be the only one far away for as long as I have control over, the next time I’ll make sure it’s in the states where I can come home often.”

“Okay.” I whisper, nodding my head before leaning over to kiss her and get out of bed and picking up a t-shirt from the floor before leaving the room. I walk into the kitchen and start making coffee.

“Laura.” Carmilla says quietly from the entryway of the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“I – I uhm…” She stammers as she runs her fingers through her hair.

“Carm, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.” I say, walking over to her. “I don’t want you to go, but it’s your job, I will miss you more than anything in the entire world. You know me; I’ll throw myself into work and make the days go by as fast as I can. I’ll go by Laf and Perry and hope they don’t blow me up. I’ll write you let– I have an idea.” I say, running over to the desk in the corner, pulling out a notebook.

“Uhm, okay.” Carmilla says with a small laugh.

“Every chance you get, write in it. I’ll pick one up for myself when we go to the airport. I’ll write in it every day. Don’t forget the date when you write in it, we can compare our days, especially on the ones we don’t get to talk.” I explain, watching her smile a bit.

“I love the idea cupcake.” She says, wrapping me up in a hug before walking over to her bag and stuffing it into the front pocket. “You know me, if I don’t do it now I’ll forget.” She says over her shoulder.

“If I didn’t help you pack that bag you’d forget everything.” I tease, walking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. “We’ll be okay.” I mumble into the back of her shoulder. She nods, turning her head slightly to look at me.

“I still want letters from you, just so you know.”

“I know; letters are your favorite part.” I chime as she turns to face me, placing her hands on my hips while I drape my arms on her shoulders.

“I still have every letter you sent me the last time.”

“How did I not know this?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“I dunno the answer to that cupcake.” She says, taking my hand in hers and leading me back into the bedroom where she walks over to the walk-in closet. I watch as she goes to her side of the bottom of the closet and digs through a few things before walking back out with an old Vans shoebox in her hand. She leads me back into the kitchen, pouring us each a cup of coffee after she sets the box on the table. We sit down and she opens the box to reveal at least a hundred letters. “These aren’t all of them, I left a lot of them in a box back home, these are my favorite ones though, especially this one.” She chimes as she ruffles through the box and pulls out a letter, handing it to me. I look at the back of the envelope, whenever I wrote to Carmilla; I would always right something sweet to her as a prelude to what the letter was about. The back of this one read, _‘As my soldier, you make me proud every day. I hope this news makes you proud… :)’_.

“This is the letter I wrote you when I was able to graduate college.” I say, smiling at the memory.

“High honors, top of your class at Penn State. I have never been more proud of you.” She chimes, sipping her coffee. “And whenever you had news that wasn’t so good, you wouldn’t label the back of the envelope with anything. Those letters I didn’t want to open right away. I would wait until I was in my bunk to open them.”

“Like the letter I wrote to tell you about my mom having cancer.” I say quietly, holding my coffee cup.

“That is one of my least favorites, hence why it is at my parents’.” Carmilla says, shuffling through the box. “And then I have pictures.” She says playfully, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh no.” I whine, bowing my head in embarrassment.

“Hey, these pictures got me through a lot. You’re hot; you’ve always been hot. Some of the other women and majority of the men were jealous when they’d see a picture of you by my bunk.” She says proudly.

“Well thank goodness you’re not engaged to me for my looks.” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her.

“It’s a solid benefit though.” She says dryly, looking at me over her coffee cup and smirking. “Why wouldn’t I want to have a hot wife to make everyone else jealous? I mean of course you’re oh so intelligent, but that isn’t what everyone sees first, they see your looks.”

“Flaunt my looks then my brain?” I tease, watching Carmilla get nervous. Something that always amused my about her was how sometimes, she would try to not let herself get flustered by me, but would fail every time.

“I’m gonna stop talking now.” She says, finishing off the rest of her coffee. “I have to shower and get ready, my parents will be here soon.”

“My parents are coming too. They aren’t coming to the airport, but they are coming here for a little bit.” I say, getting up to rinse out my coffee cup.

“Okay.” She says, kissing me before walking out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Write every day.” Laura whispers in my ear.

“Twice a day.” I say into the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, committing the smell to memory.

“Call if and when you can.”

“Skype too.” I say, holding her tighter to me.

“I love you.” She says, pulling back to look at me, tears staining her cheeks as he chin quivers.

“I love you too cupcake, I love you so much.” I say, leaning in to kiss her. “Be home before you know it.” I say reassuringly, hugging her again as my parents walk over to say their goodbyes.

“Stay safe, stay alert, don’t forget that.” My dad says, pointing a finger in my face.

“I know sir.” I nod.

“You protect your family over there and come home to this one.” He adds stepping forward to give me a hug. “Be good Carmilla. You have a fiancée to come home to.” He whispers in my ear before kissing the side of my head.

“You be good.” My mom says, looking at me with tears in her eyes. “You watch out for everyone and everything. You come back the same as you left.” She says, wrapping her up in a tight hug. “If you don’t focus on us as a reason to come home, think about and focus in Laura.” She says quietly, kissing me on the cheek. I look behind her to see Laura standing there red in the face and crying. I take a step forward and wrap my arms around her one last time.

“I’ll be back.” I say, doing my best Arnold Schwarzenegger, getting Laura to smile.

“You’re a dork.” She says, shoving my shoulder playfully.

“I’m your dork.” I chime, kissing her one last time. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She says as she lets me go reluctantly.

“I love you all.” I say with a wave.

“Be good! Stay safe!” My parents both call out over each other. “We love you!”

 

-Laura POV-

I walk through the door of our apartment for the first time since dropping Carmilla at the airport. There is an evidence of something missing, and of course she is that something. I can’t really find anything to help alleviate the feeling, so as always I throw myself into my work, which lasts all of five minute. I pick up my phone to make a call. “Hey, yeah are you busy? Wanna come by?” Twenty minutes later there is a knock at the door, I open the door to find Danny standing there with a brown paper bag and a smirk.

“The ‘My fiancée just got deployed and I don’t know what to do with myself’ care package. Otherwise known as the two temporary lovers of your life, Ben and Jerry.” She chimes as she walks into the kitchen and places the contents of the bag into the freezer.

“How many did you get?”

“The essentials, cookie dough, fudge brownie, red velvet.” She lists off everything as she puts it in the freezer. “Oh and let’s not forget, chunky monkey, or as I like to call it, ‘the only way Laura eats something that tastes like fruit.’”

“So funny.” I say, rolling my eyes at her.

“I know Carmilla just got shipped off to the desert and you must feel like shit about it, but everything will be okay.” Danny says, walking over to give me a hug.

“I just know it’s going to take a while, I mean. I haven’t even slept by myself in almost a year, that’s hard to readjust.” I mumble into her arm.

“Well no one is expecting you to readjust today or even next week.” Danny walks back into the living room and plopping on the couch.

“Let’s talk about you, get my mind off of things. How are you?”

“As good as I can be Laura, what is there to say?” She rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed at the question.

“O-Kay.”

“I’m sorry I snapped.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to feel like you need to stay here just so you know. I don’t need to be babysat.” I say, walking over to the desk and picking up my laptop.

“I’m just going to do then.” She says, getting up from the couch and leaving without another word.

“Hey Frosh!” Laf says, walking through the door with Perry trailing behind.

“What are you doing here?”

“We knew Carmilla was leaving, and we wanted to come by and see if you were okay.” Perry says as she walks into the kitchen.

“Yeah, why did Danny look all pissed off?” Laf says, walking over to sit on the couch.

“I asked her how she was doing, she got pissed off, I told her I didn’t need to be babysat and she left. Oh she did buy me some ice cream, but I don’t think that matters all that much.” I shrug, sitting in my chair as I pound away at my laptop.

“She still has feeling for you, just saying.”

“How do you know that?”

“She still talks to us you know. She doesn’t just talk to you Laura. Besides when she caught word that you got engaged to Carmilla she had a fit.” Laf informs me as they flip through the channels.

“Perry!” I call out walking into the kitchen to see her chopping up something.

“Yes?” She says, not breaking the focus of what she is doing.

“What’s this I hear about Danny still having feelings for me?”

“Oh Laura, I know you’re madly in love with Carmilla, but come on, you can’t be that blind to the face. I mean.” She says, walking over to the freezer. “Three containers of ice cream? That’s a bit excessive; Laf and I would have brought you one. And let’s not forget to mention how all she did was talk about you while you were away at Penn. She’s, dare I say, borderline obsessed.”

“Okay, but she told me that she was over me, she made it seem like everything was okay…”

“Yeah, just so you wouldn’t think anything of it. She still gives you heart eyes Laura.” Laf says from behind me.

“What am I going to do?”

“Nothing.” Laf shrugs. “You do nothing, you worry about your life, and work, and the face that your fiancée is currently on a plane to the Middle East awaiting to be thrown into the throws of combat.”

“But Danny was my first girlfriend, I feel bad.”

“The logic in that is stupid, seeing as she acted more like an over protective father than a girlfriend.” Laf says as they raid my fridge for something to drink.

“Carm keeps the good beer in the bottom drawer. She told me to tell you that before she left, and not to let Kirsch find out.” I say, pointing to the drawer.

“Thank Carm for me when you write her.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I say, walking back into the living. It took about six weeks before I got a letter from Carmilla, needless to say when I went to the mailbox and saw I got a letter from her I ran as fast as I could to the apartment. I walk across the living room to the kitchen and put everything that I was holding, down on the counter before walking into our room and lying down on the bed. I look at the envelope, reading over her familiar handwriting a few times before turning it over, reading the back of the envelope and smiling. ‘ _I made it in one piece cupcake, just so you know :)_ ’ I open the envelope as carefully as I could. 

_I made it in one-piece cutie. I hated every minute in the plane, knowing I would be gone for so long, but it’s for work, and that’s how I have to see it. I know that if you had to go away for work and couldn’t take me it would be just as upsetting, even if it was for a weekend. I miss you already (something you will be reading a lot so get used to it.) I’ve been here for about a week now and I took a little time to adjust which is why this letter is delayed, but you will be able to read the day to day play by play in the journal when I get home, by the time I send this out and you get it, we should be able to take away six weeks from the one year. So that leaves about 47 weeks, which isn’t that bad when you think about it. Just 47 Sundays, You could binge watch Buffy every Sunday until I come home, it may make things speed up a bit, ha ha. I hope you’re adjusting, I hope you’ve gotten used to sleeping in the middle of the bed, or with a ton of pillows around. I know I hate sleeping in a single cot. It sucks and is so uncomfortable, and sleeping alone if cold, there is nothing warm to curl into, you are so warm by the way, that may sound so weird, but you are so cozy to sleep next to, talking about it makes me sad :( anyway. Are you keeping busy? How is work? How are Frankenstein and Betty Crocker? Hell, how’s Xena doing? I miss home, that is something that is a given, but after being home for a while, I miss it even more now. I miss my fiancée, something that clearly is different than the other time around. But like I said, 47 Sundays and I will be right back where I belong. I love you more than anything in the entire world Laura; there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, even with me half way across the world. I love and miss you so much. I have to go to work now. I’ll write you again as soon as possible. I love you._

_Love Always,_

_Carm XOXO_

I read the letter about three more times before folding it up and tucking it away into its envelope and putting it under my pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down. If you want to you can talk to me over on Tumblr if you want to let me know how I'm doing, but comments of course are always welcome :)
> 
> juli-with-a-chance


	11. I miss you…

**I miss you…**

-Carmilla-

I’m lying on my cot reading a book that I found in the rec area the other day. It’s boring as all hell, not even remotely interesting. “Karnstein!” A gruff voice calls out from the opening of the barrack; I look up to see him holding up a letter. “Mail.” He says with a smile as run over to him, snatching the letter from his hands.

“Thanks.” I look at the familiar handwriting on the front of the envelope and smile. I sit down on the edge of the cot as I turn it over in my hands. _‘I miss you. That goes without saying, but I love you enough to make it not_ that _bad.’_ I open the envelope carefully.

 

_Hey Carm,_

_I miss you. I think it’s safe to say that that is where I will start this. I miss you more than anything in entire world. Anyway, I hope you’re holding up over there. I hope you’re staying super safe and careful. Well I know you are I know you don’t want to worry me. Work is going well, I want to mention that before it’s too late, and I don’t mention it. I just miss you Carm, more than I can ever have thought I would. I hate sleeping alone. I hate it so much. Laf talked me into maybe getting a dog, or even a cat, but I couldn’t do that without you in mind so hopefully you are able to get back to me with a yes or a no soon :) I think you may like a cat more than a dog; we seem more like a crazy cat lady couple more than a dog couple. Ha ha. So I want a cat and I just have to wait for your approval. So when you come home you will come home to a kitty and me :D yay! I love you Carmilla. By the time you get this, we may be about 44 or 43 Sundays left until we see each other. Maybe even 42, who knows when this will get in the mail? Laf told me to thank you for letting them get into your beer drawer of the fridge for the good beer. Perry has been making sure I eat a decent meal, Danny I have only scene once and that was the day you left. I don’t know what else to say, which is shocking, but I have been writing everything in the journal that I feel like I have nothing more to tell you… I must write at least two to three pages in the journal a day. I write about different dreams I have and how work is going, I even take it to work and write during my lunch breaks. I know when you get home you are going to read it all and love it. I would write more, but I really have nothing else to say, other than the fact that I miss you so, so much Carmilla. 42 more Sundays and we aren’t leaving the apartment for a week, I already gave notice that for the first week in May of next year I will need off, my boss looked at me like I was insane for going that far in advance but then I explained to her what was going on and she understood. Okay, so seeing as this was the most important thing for you at the moment, you may have noticed the envelope wasn’t a standard size and was a little bigger than usual, inside, or on the floor (depending on how enthusiastic you were) the pictures I sent may have gotten lost in the shuffle. Make all the ladies and gentlemen jealous of your hot fiancée ;) I love you and miss you so much. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll write you again soon. Oh and your parents send their love and will be sending a letter shortly._

_I love you always,_

_Cupcake ;)_

 

I sigh as I read over the letter again before looking at the envelope and pulling out a couple of pictures. One is just of Laura, a selfie she took smiling wide with her head against her yellow pillow. The other picture was of her and I after we got engaged. The pictures made me miss her so much more.

“Karnstein! Get your shit together, you’re going out!” I sigh and kiss the pictures before putting everything under my pillow and gathering my gear.

 

-Laura POV-

“Laf I can’t get one yet, but he’s so cute.” I say, as I look at the kittens that are up for adoption at the pet store.

“Come on Frosh, getting a cat is so much fun. Perry and I love little Einstein.”

“I know you do, but I can’t get anything until I get the approval from Carmilla.”

“Okay, when do you think she got that letter?” They ask as we walk out of the store.

“Maybe three weeks ago.” I say as I open up my calendar on my phone. “Yeah that should be right.”

“So you should be getting a letter any day now right?”

“Yeah I should be.”

“So there it wouldn’t be a big deal, I know she would say yes anyway.” They say with a grin.

“I know but I want it in writing first.” I say as I get into the car. We drive back to my apartment in silence, seeing as they seemed to have dropped the subject.

“You should get one.” Laf chimes as I get out of their car.

“Bye Laf.” I slam the door shut and make my way to my door, being sure to check the mail before going home. I realize there isn’t any and don’t think anything of it as I lock the box and go home. I open the door to the apartment and sigh, dropping my keys in the bowl and making my way to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable, which translated to a T-shirt of Carm’s and a pair of yoga pants. On my way to my room I stop in the hallway and walk back towards the living room.

“I was wondering when you were going to turn around.” Carmilla chimes from the armchair in the corner. I run over to her and jump into her arms, not surprised that she caught me as effortlessly as she did.

“You’re home.” I say, pulling back to get a better look at her. “You’re here.”

“I got a week off.” She smiles, leaning in to kiss me.

“One less week away from you.”

“I know, we will make the week worth while. Oh I have another surprise.” Carmilla says, taking my hand and leading the way to the spare room, opening the door to reveal a small tabby cat sitting on the floor looking up at us. “I figured you could name him. I picked him up on the way home. My mom drove me to the adoption place right from the airport, when we got there he was ready to go so I took him.”

“I love it. Thank you.” I kiss her again before walking over to the cat and picking him up.

“The shelter called him Weasley.”

“I love the name, I’m not changing it.” I say as I scratch the cat behind his ears, smiling when he purrs. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I missed you.” I say, walking over and resting my head on her chest.

“I missed you so much cupcake.” She says, kissing the top of my head and wrapping her arms around me. “What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I want to just be lazy around here with you and Weasley. I have off tomorrow and Wednesday, but I have to go in Thursday-Saturday, and Sunday I work from home.”

“Okay. We’ll make it work, I can always see my parents and your parents during the day when you’re working, it’s not a big deal.”

“At least I get to come home to you at night.” I smile, leaning in to kiss her.

“That is something to look forward to. Another thing to look forward to is actually taking a shower with decent water pressure. I’m gonna go do that, you go change, and then we can order in and watch reruns of something on Netflix.”

“Sounds like a perfect plan.” I kiss her again before putting Weasley on the floor and walking into the bedroom to change.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Cupcake?” I say walking out of the bedroom as I pull my T-shirt over my head.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been wearing my shirts haven’t you?” I smile as I walk into the kitchen.

“I plead the fifth.” She says, her face turning red.

“I don’t mind that you have been Laura, don’t be embarrassed by it. I could tell you were because they all smell freshly washed and not like they have been in a drawer for the past four and a half months.”

“I sleep in them.” She says shyly.

“I knew it.” I laugh as I walk over to the fridge and get myself something to drink, kissing her on the side of the head on the way.

“Carm?”

“Yes.”

“I – I was wondering, I mean I know we aren’t even married yet, let alone have anything for the wedding planned at all, but I was wondering how you feel about the idea of kids, like we don’t have to have them, I wouldn’t mind if we did or didn’t, but I was just wondering what you thought.” She rambles, looking down at the floor.

“Honestly?”

“Yes, honestly.”

“I don’t know if I want to talk about this right now. I don’t think it’s a good time.” I say, taking a sip of my drink. “We have a while to discuss that and I don’t want to have to worry about an answer or no answer while I’m away. Do you want them?” I ask as I step towards her, placing my glass on the counter behind her, and putting my hands on her hips.

“I don’t know, maybe one. But it isn’t something that is _that_ important right now.” She says as she drapes her arms on my shoulders. I lean forward and begin kissing her neck, resulting in her breathing to become a bit ragged. “I would like to see a baby me or you running around on day.”

“Maybe one day.” I whisper on her ear before kissing the sensitive spot just behind it as I lift her onto the countertop and kissing her softly.

“I love you.” She whispers between kisses.

“It means like you say it to remind yourself.”

“I don’t mean for it to seem that way. I just want you to know that no matter what happens I love you.”

“I know you love me cupcake. I know without you saying anything that you love me.” I say, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear. I look into her eyes and see her worrying about something. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “I just missed you. Four and a half months is a long time to be away someone you love.”

“I know it is. You aren’t the only one that has to live through it.”

“I’m not saying that I am.”

“Then what’s the problem?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest as I still stand between her legs.

“There isn’t a problem. I promise.” She says, trying to pull me back towards her.

“I don’t believe you. You can tell me what’s wrong.” Laura sighs as she jumps down off of the counter and walks out of the kitchen. I trail behind her as she walks over to her desk in the corner of the living room and pulls out her notebook from one of the drawers. “What are you doing to do, make me read it?”

“No, but it is written in here, so if I tell you, you can skip over the page – ”

“You’re making it seem like you’re going to leave me or something.” I interrupt.

“Apparently after all these years, Danny still has feelings for me.” She sighs.

“Okay and what does this have to do with you? You love me, you’re engaged to me, when was the last time you saw her before I left?”

“I know, I know. It just bothers me that she still has feelings for me.”

“So confront her. Ask her flat out what the deal is and go from there.”

“I haven’t talked to her since the day you were deployed. She hasn’t talked to me either. It doesn’t matter but like I dunno.” She sighs, plopping down on the couch.

“Do you love me?”

“More than I have ever loved anyone.”

“Do you want to marry me?” I ask, sitting down beside her.

“I want to be your wife so bad.” She smiles, taking my hands in hers.

“So there is nothing to worry about.” I say, leaning in to kiss her. “Thank you for being honest with me though.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiles softly before leaning in and kissing me again as she moves to straddle me without breaking the kiss. I run my hands over her thighs before standing up from the couch and picking her up. “I forgot how strong you are.” She whispers.

“I could bench-press you cupcake.” I smile, walking into the bedroom and dropping her onto the bed.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“You want me to do that?” I smirk and she flips me into my back and straddles my hips, running her hands over my chest as she shrugs.

“I think it’s kinda hot that you’re that strong.” She leans down and kisses me. “The thought that you could kick someone’s ass.”

“Says the girl who had to take Krav Maga lessons at eight.”

“And didn’t stop until I was twenty.” She chimes cockily.

“So you could very well kick someone’s ass for me too.” I tease, running my hands over her thighs.

“I could.”

“Our kids aren’t allowed to be wimps then.” I chime, watching Laura carefully.

“Kids?”

“Some day. I would think one would be nice.”

“Who would carry?” She asks, getting off of my lap and laying beside me.

“I personally think you would look a really hot pregnant.” I say, turning on my side and putting my hands on her stomach.

“So that’s means it me by default.”

“No, I just think you would be better at it.”

“We’ll talk about this more when we get to that stage.” She says, leaning in to kiss me.

* * *

 

“Carmilla!” My mom chimes as I walk through the kitchen.

“Hey ma.” I walk up to her and give her a hug.

“Where’s Laura?”

“She has to work, so here I am until further notice.” I say, sitting down at the kitchen island.

“How is it being home?”

“It’s teasing, seeing as I have to go back on Tuesday.” I shrug.

“I know honey, but you wanted to do it.”

“I know, I know. I just miss being home. I miss Laura.”

“I missed your father in the beginning when he went away, then I decided to go with him all over the place. It’ll be okay.” She says, placing her hand on top of mine. “You know you don’t have to hang out here all day, you can go to the beach or something.”

“Yeah maybe I’ll go to the beach for a little bit.”

“Go, don’t feel bad, you can always come back here if you want to.” She says, nearly shooing me out of the house.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you later.” I say, walking over to kiss her on the cheek before walking out of the house. I decide to leave my car here, seeing as the beach was only a ten-minute walk, which turned into a five minute run.

“Well if it isn’t Carmilla.” I turn to see Laf standing in the sand with a smile on their face. “How are you?”

“Hey Frankenstein, shouldn’t you be creating a fire hazard somewhere?” I tease, walking over to give them a hug. “How are you?”

“I should ask you that.”

“I’m good, I wish I didn’t have to go back. Are you taking care of Laura for me?”

“Of course I am, she’s in one piece isn’t she?”

“Just making sure.” I smirk. “So how are you and curly sue doing?”

“Perry and I are amazing, I was actually on my way to see her at work.”

“She still running that café?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Yep, she does everything she has to for the place, and it’s actually bringing in a lot.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, she’s happy, that’s what matters. Laura said you surprised her with a cat.”

“Yep, my mom got me from the airport and I surprised her with a cat, he’s a tabby, his name is Weasley.” I say proudly, showing them a picture. “Why are you laughing?”

“I never thought you’d be the type of person who would get excited about a pet cat.”

“Well he’s pretty cool, I mean we only had him for a day, but I just bonded with the little guy.”

“Stereotypical lesbian cat lady.” They tease.

“Shut it.”

“Okay.” They put their hands up in surrender. “I have to get going if I’m late Perry will worry.”

“Go, no one wants an annoyed Perry.” I smile, giving them a small wave as they walk away.

“Later Karnstein!” I walk towards the shoreline and slip my shoes off before picking them up and walking into the water, letting the cool water wash over my feet.

“Hey.” I turn around to see Ell standing there with a nervous smile. “Long time.”

“Yeah, very long time.” I say, running my fingers through my hair.

“How are you? How is everything?” She keeps her distance.

“I’m doing very well, thanks. You?”

“Same old. I heard through the grape vine that you’re in the military.”

“Army, yeah.” I nod.

“That’s good. I also heard you were engaged…”

“How did you find that out?”

“I’m actually seeing Danny Lawrence, news travels.” She shrugs.

“You’re dating the giant?” I snicker. “That’s hilarious.”

“She’s nice, she’s very nice. We get along very well.”

“Sorry. I just can’t picture it. Wait does Laura know?”

“Danny hasn’t spoken to Laura in years.” She defends.

“How long have you been with her? She was at the apartment six months ago when I was deployed.”

“No she wasn’t.”

“Okay, then Laura lied to me.” I say sarcastically.

“Whatever. Look, I didn’t walk up to you to argue, I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m doing great and happily engaged to Laura, I’m only here for a few more days before I have to leave again. That’s all you need to know.” I snap.

“Well you never changed.” She rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want to know what you mean by that, but I have to go.” I say, putting my shoes back in my wet feet and walking away from her.

 

-Laura POV-

“Carm?” I call out, walking into the apartment.

“Kitchen, cupcake.” I walk into the kitchen to find her cooking.

“You cook? Since when?”

“I picked up a few things growing up, I just never put it to use.” She shrugs, walking over to give me a kiss.

“Well I am honored that you’re _finally_ cooking for me.” I say as she hands me a glass of wine.

“How was work?”

“Work, I have to write an article for tomorrow. Thankfully I started most of it at the office, I have to finish it up and email it to the editor by ten the latest. So after dinner I have to work.”

“As long as I get your undivided attention during dinner.” Carmilla smiles before kissing me again.

“Laf texted me saying they saw you by the beach today?”

“Yeah I went to the beach for a little bit. My mom said I could, it was nice.” She says, going back to what she was doing by the stove.

“Did anything happen?”

“I saw someone.”

“Who?” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I saw Ell, we spoke for literally two minutes and I walked away.”

“What did she say?”

“Nothing much, apparently she’s dating Danny.”

“She’s dating Danny! I didn’t know this, what the fuck?” I say, nearly dropping my wine glass. “What are the odds?”

“Apparently very low.”

“I don’t care, it’s just odd because they literally hated each other in high school.” I say, taking a sip of wine.

“Well I don’t care. I just care about you.” Carmilla states.

“Good.” I smile, walking over to her and kissing her cheek.


	12. Be Happy…

**Be Happy…**

-Laura POV-

“Happy birthday sweetheart!” My mom says as I walk through the door.

“Thank you mom. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas too.”

“Happy Birthday Kiddo.” My dad says, walking in from the kitchen.

“Thank you.” I smile softly.

“Oh come on kid, I know you’re sad that Carmilla isn’t here for your birthday, but everything will be fine, be happy.” He says, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“I know. I have to go across the street to see her parents for the holiday.”

“No need, they’re coming over here for dinner.” My mom chimes.

“That’s good, who else is coming?”

“I invited your friends Laf and Perry, I told that guy Kirsch he can come by, then your grandparents, and uncle Steve.” She explains as she walks back into the kitchen.

“I miss her dad.”

“I know you do sweetheart, she’ll be home before you know it.”

“I know, but it just sucks so much.” I say, walking into the living room and throwing myself on the couch.

“I could only imagine.”

“I love her so much daddy.” I say, playing with my engagement ring.

“I know you do sweetie, but just four more months, then you can move on and plan your wedding.”

“I can’t wait to marry her.”

“I remember that feeling kiddo. I felt the same way with your mother when we got engaged.” He smiles at the thought.

“How long were you engaged before you got married?”

“We were engaged for about six months, but we were together for three and a half years before I proposed, even though it wasn’t under the Eiffel Tower, I proposed to her on the beach at sunset.”

“Equally romantic dad.” I smile. “Mom said yes, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m pretty sure Carmilla feels the same, she just took advantage of the location.”

“Basically.”

“As long as she has made you happy and you know you want to be with her for the rest of your life, then you know that everything will be okay, and her job shouldn’t get in the way of that ever. She is doing the country a great justice and you know that just as much as everyone else.”

“I know dad. I just hate that she has to be gone for so long.” I sigh. “And I don’t want to have to move all the time, she knows that. Especially if we decide to have kids, I don’t want to have to pick them up and move them all the time unless it’s necessary.”

“So you have had the kid talk?”

“We did, it’s still up in the air, but I think we’re going to try for one.”

“Well thankfully you can’t get pregnant the old fashioned way. One minute you’re just married and the next you’re the father of a baby who doesn’t stop crying until they learn what a cookie is. Then you have to live with feeding the cookie addiction until they are old enough to go off and buy them for themselves.” He teases.

“Gee thanks dad.” I roll my eyes.

“You know I love you cookie monster.”

“I love you too dad.”

“In all seriousness though, whatever you choose to do in your marriage, as long as it is on a joint front, it will be okay.” He says, getting up from his chair and walking into the kitchen. I sigh and follow him to see what my mom was up to.

“Are you okay sweetie?” She asks as sit down at the kitchen counter, I watch her as she plays with her laptop, looking at it with confusion. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do mom.”

“I know it’s hard. Shoot, can you help me with this I cant get my email to work.”

“Yeah.” I reach over and turn the computer to face me.

“Happy Birthday Laura.” Carmilla chimes from the screen.

“I hate these surprises.” I say quietly. “Thank you mom.”

“You’re welcome sweetheart, we’ll leave you be for a little bit, come on Sherm.” They walk out of the kitchen.

“So how are you?” Carmilla asks with a smile.

“I’m good, I miss you of course. Why do you have stitches of your head?”

“Oh that.” She reaches up and touches the side of her forehead. “You wouldn’t believe it, I didn’t get it on the field, I tripped getting into the bunk and hit my head on the corner of someone’s bedframe.”

“Ouch. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was nice to be thrown to desk duty for a few weeks. So at least you don’t have to worry too much about me.”

“I will still worry about you until the day I meet you at the airport to take you home.” I say quietly.

“I know cupcake. So how is everything else? How is Weasley?”

“He’s good. I caught him in the laundry basket after you left; he was trying to get one of you shirts. He was successful and now doesn’t let me near it.”

“Sounds like you.” She teases. “Anything else to report on? Are you writing in your journal everyday? I have mine always.” She holds up her journal, it looks all dusty and worn.

“Every night I do. And I wrote you a letter, you should be getting it soon.”

“As for you cutie. Oh, I know my parents are going to be going there for the holiday, and I sent them something to give you.”

“Why didn’t you just send it to me?”

“Because I know you would want to open it right away and not wait until your birthday.” She chimes.

“What is it? Is it something from there?”

“No actually, I sent them a letter and told them what I wanted to get. They went out and got it, they Skyped me last night and showed me. It’s perfect.”

“Well now I’m even more eager to know what it is.” I smile.

“You’ll found out when they get there, cupcake. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“How much longer?”

“About sixteen more Sundays. Give or take one or two.” Carmilla shrugs.

“That’s not all that bad.”

“It isn’t.” She shakes her head and smiles. “Then we get to spend a whole week in bed before planning for our wedding.”

“Is that so?” I tease.

“Yes ma’am." 

“I love you.”

“And I love you Laura. Look I have to go now, I’ll Skype you again if I can okay?”

“Yes. Be safe Carm."

“Always am cupcake.” She salutes me, and smiles before blowing me a kiss and waving slightly. “Give everyone my love.”

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you.” I wave to her and blow her a kiss as she ends the call. With a sigh I close my mom’s laptop.

“Hello Laura!” Lilita says as she walks into the kitchen with Matthew trailing close behind her. “Happy Birthday.” She walks over and gives me a hug.

“Thank you Lilita.”

“Happy Birthday Laura.” Matthew says, giving me a quick hug.

“Thank you Mr. Karnstein.”

“Laura, I know I can be a hard person, but I would like it if you please called me Matt, you are going to be a part of the family before we know it.” He says with a small smile.

“Thank you Matt.”

“You’re welcome. Here is a little something from your fiancée. Carmilla said that she will be getting in touch with you before we got here.” Matt says, handing me a small, neatly wrapped box.

“I just got off of Skype with her.”

“That must have been nice for you dear. She told us last night that it would be a nice surprise to Skype you.” Lilita smiles.

“It was, we never really had a chance to since she left, and one time when we did it, it didn’t connect right. Anyway, just four more months.”

“I remember counting down in the beginning before I decided I’d go wherever he’d go. You wait for the moment they’re walking through the terminal at the airport, you do the whole hugging and kissing bit. You go home enjoy them being back, I call that the honeymoon phase, it lasts about a week. Then you start to remember why the cleaning was easier to do when they were gone. Before you know it, there are dirty clothes and dishes everywhere.” Lilita says light heartedly.

“Or in Carm’s case, the shower drain is filled with her hair and there is some kind of foreign sludge on every surface of the bathroom and kitchen area.” I grimace at the thought.

“Some things never change.” Lilita says looking over at Matthew for a moment before they both start laughing.

“Wait, she’s always been like that?”

“Since she was about fifteen, it isn’t anything new, you just realize it because you just started living together.” Lilita says.

“I guess that’s true, either way I don’t miss cleaning up that mess, but that’s just a small price to pay to have her at home.” I shrug.

“You really care about her don’t you?” Matthew asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve never seen her care for someone as much as she cares for you and I just want to make sure it is the same in return.”

“I know we haven’t spoke about this properly Matt, but I do care for your daughter very much and it is something you should not question.”

“That’s all I want to know. Regardless of anything she is still my little girl and I want what’s best for her.”

“I completely understand sir.”

“Thank you, I know you’re good enough, but a man can never be too sure, especially when we don’t talk all that much Laura.” He says quietly.

“I know.”

 

-Carmilla POV-

My heart is pounding in my chest as I make my way to the front of the airport, trying to hide the smile on my face is becoming harder with every step towards where I know Laura will be. Then, like tunnel vision, I see Laura across the sea of people. My smile grows as I make a beeline for her, shoving people out of my way, after walking a few feet she notices me and breaks into a run, meeting me in the middle and jumping into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist as I drop my bag to the floor and hold her like my life depends on it.

“You’re home.” She whispers in my ear as she clings to me tighter.

“I’m home.” I kiss the side of her head, her cheek, and then her lips.

“You’re in one piece.”

“I am.” I whisper as she lets go of my and gets back on her feet. I kiss the side of her head again, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as she hugs my waist and we walk towards our parents. “Hello everyone.” I smile, finding it difficult to hug my parents seeing as Laura won’t let me go.

“You look good Carmilla, welcome home.” My dad says with a smile.

“My little girl. We’re going to keep this short, seeing as Laura is the one that really needs you more than the rest of us, but welcome home sweetie.” My mom says, trying to give me a proper hug.

“I’m pretty sure we won’t see them for about a week.” Sherman teases. “Welcome home either way kiddo.”

“Thank you Sherm.”

“I want to go home.” Laura whispers in my ear like an impatient child.

“I know cupcake, I have to get my bag first.”

“Okay.”

“We know you want to get home with your girlfriend Laura, and you’ll get there, kiddo.” Calvin says. After I got my bag and a forty-five minute drive, my parents we’re dropping Laura and I off outside of their house so Laura can get her car. Once we got home I insisted on taking a shower before anything else.

“Are you okay now?” Laura asks from the bed as she gets under the covers.

“I’m clean, I’m home, and I’m about to be in my comfortable bed with my beautiful fiancée, yes. I am okay now.” I say, towel drying my hair as I walk into the room.

“Good, come to bed and cuddle.” She holds her arms open as smiles.

“Come to bed and cuddle.” I mock her playfully, tossing the towel toward the hamper and getting into bed. “It’s nice to be back in our bed.” Laura wraps herself around me as soon as I get comfortable.

“It’s nice to have you back in our bed.”

“What are we eating for dinner after this nap cutie? I could you some good food.”

“I bought the stuff to make your favorite.” Laura chimes.

“Chicken Parm?” My eyes grow wide as she nods. “Oh my GOD I missed that so much. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

-Laura POV-

“Hey cupcake.” Carmilla says quietly after walking into the kitchen and wrapping her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder. “Everything smells so good, I want to eat all of it.”

“You can if you choose to, I will not judge.”

“You better not judge me.” She walks over to the fridge and gets herself and I a beer.

“Carm?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to do therapy like you promised?” I ask shyly.

“Of course cupcake, don’t worry. I think writing in the journal helped keep me level headed.”

“Good.” I smile, turning my attention back to the stove.

“For the record I am very okay Laura. I know you want me to talk about it, but knowing I had you to talk to and something to look forward to at mail call, it made it….” She trails off looking for the words to say, giving up after a moment. “I love you, and I had you to think about, rather than throwing my whole heart into what I has doing, the piece I left here made me not want to engross myself over there. None of this makes sense, I will do talk, but I don’t want you to think that I’m like crazy and going to freak out if I hear a firework go off or something. I’m not on a short fuse.”

“I believe you.”

“Good, as long as you believe me.” She kisses me on the cheek. “Oh, I’m going to talk to curly sue about that job at her place tomorrow. I think I’ll stop by sometime tomorrow, or I’ll call her.”

“That’s great Carm, but now if Perry is your boss, who knows how much she’ll let you get away with.”

“Perry loves me, she’ll let me get away with everything, what?”

“You _actually_ called her Perry.” I chuckle.

“I’m not a complete ass hole, and like you said she is going to be my boss potentially.” She shrugs. “I’m hungry, are you almost done cooking?”

“Yes just five more minutes, can you set the table?”

“No problem my love.” She kisses the side of my head as she reaches of me to get to the cabinet with the dishes. After dinner, which consisted of Carmilla eating every last bite, we decided to curl up and the couch and watch TV with Weasley. A little while into watching the newest rerun of Buffy, Carmilla starts laughing.

“What?”

“We’re only twenty-four years old and it feels like we fell into the stereotype of lesbians with a cat and nothing better to do than to watch Netflix.” She says through a laugh.

“You just got back from the middle of the dessert! I know it’s Friday and everyone wanted to do something to welcome you home but I said you’d rather stay home your first night back.”

“I’m not complaining cupcake. I was just making a point, it doesn’t bother me at all by the way.” She says, leaning over to kiss me. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.” I smirk, watching her roll her eyes.

“Ha. You’re so funny. No in all seriousness, I think this should be discussed, anyway, what should out wedding colors be?”

“Well what do you want them to be? And Black isn’t allowed.”

“How about yellow and blue?”

“I think that would be nice. Why did you pick blue?” I ask, seeing as that would be the furthest choice I could see her having.

“I like blue, like a navy blue would be nice, I don’t want it to be like pale blue or something pastel. I want it to be a darker shade.” She says, running her fingers through my hair.

“I’d like that, I should start writing our plans down before we get a wedding planner or something like that involved.” I say, getting up and grabbing a notebook and pen.

“Where do you want to have it?” Carmilla rests her head in the back of the couch, turning her head to look over at me.

“I don’t know about that part just yet, let’s talk little things. What kind of cake should we have?”

“Whatever makes you happy, cupcake.” I sit down beside her again.

“You’re willing to give me that power?”

“Of course I am. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. If that means giving you the power in things that will make your wedding day happy, then we don’t have to focus on certain things I want. My day will be perfect as long as you’re there and happy as can be.” I lean over and kiss her softly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too cupcake.” She smiles, kissing me again.


	13. I never agreed to that…

**I never agreed to that…**

-Laura POV-

Carmilla has been home a total of two weeks, and as expected, there is nothing but hair in every drain in the bathroom, her clothes are scattered around the entire apartment, and her distain towards everyone that isn’t me is at an all time high. To be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is nothing I love more than knowing that being away hasn’t changed Carmilla all that much. There are some things she doesn’t talk to me about, some things that she would rather deal with on her own, as she puts it, especially when she wakes up in the middle of the night. At least she maintains her job working with Perry, okay she only started like a week ago, but she hasn’t done anything to get in trouble, or make Perry annoyed to the point of being fired, I’d call that somewhat of a success. I walk into the café before the lunch rush; I walk up to the counter to see Carmilla reading a magazine.

“Hey.” I chime, watching as she looks over the top of her magazine and smiles.

“Hey you.” She leans over the counter to give me a kiss. “Everything okay? How’s work?”

“Work is work, what about you?”

“Slow, thankfully.”

“You left early this morning, everything okay?” I ask, taking a seat at the counter.

“Of course cupcake, don’t worry.”

“You know I only know how to worry.” I say as she hands me a cup of cocoa.

“I’m okay cupcake. I promise.”

“You have an appointment with the therapist today.”

“I know. I’ll go there straight from work.” She says, slightly annoyed.

“I don’t mean to make it seem like I’m forcing you to do this Carm, I just worry about you.”

“I know Laura.”

“I love you Carm, I just don’t want you getting caught up in your head.” I say, placing my hand on top of hers.

“I love you too cupcake, I know your intentions are good and I’m doing it for us.” She says with a tight smile.

“I have to get back to work. I’ll see you at home.” I lean over the counter to kiss her.

“Laura I have customers!” Perry says from the back when the kiss lingers a little bit.

“Sorry!”

“Go cupcake before Betty Crocker fires me.” She rolls her eyes, and kisses me on the forehead before I turn around and leave.

 

-Carmilla POV-

I walk up to the beachside house that was a couple of blocks away from the café. With a sigh, I follow the path to the side of the house where I saw a sign for the therapist Laura set me up with.

“You must be Carmilla.” The older woman said with a smile. “I’m Dr. Kaplan.” She said cheerfully extending her hand for me to take.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You as well, something I like to do with new clients is just to get to know them rather than jumping right into whatever the reason is you are here, although your fiancée made it clear that she was worried about you after you came back from doing a great service to our country, which I thank you for.” Dr. Kaplan was a little too cheerful for my liking, but she kind of reminded me of Laura, in the sense that she cared with out making it a big deal. “Would you like to sit inside or outside?”

“Outside, if that’s okay.”

“It’s perfectly fine, I just have to grab my sunglasses and a notebook.” After a moment she comes back out and leads me to a seating area that was facing the ocean. “So, Laura is your fiancée.” She starts.

“Yes, we were together since high school. She stuck with me through the decision to go into the military and she was there when I came back from my first deployment and basic training after I first came home, and she was still just as in love with me as she was when I left, I knew she was the one for me.” I smile at the thought of Laura. “Just before I left for my recent deployment, we went to Paris and I proposed to her under the Eiffel Tower.”

“Did you tell her you were leaving before or after the trip?”

“After, I didn’t want her to worry her way through the trip, I know how Laura is, she worries if I have a slight cough in the morning.”

“She seemed very caring on the phone when I spoke to her.”

“She is, I love her very much.” I smile.

“So tell me a bit about you. The basics if you will.” Dr. Kaplan says with a smile.

“I was born to a military family, well my father was in the Army, my mother his loyal wife. I was born in North Carolina, my brother was born in France, and we’re about two years apart, from France, we moved to Canada. Soon after that my mother says we moved to England. Bounced back and forth a lot between England and here, I can remember being five and having to move again, we stayed mostly in the states until I was about fourteen, then we moved to Germany. After that we moved to California, obviously, and my mother wanted my brother and I to have a real teenage experience when it came to high school so she made sure we were here to stay, that’s when I became close with Laura, she ended up being my neighbor across the street.”

“What was it like having a military father?”

“It was alright, I mean he worked a lot, I saw him on the weekends mostly and in the evenings, he would always try to make it home in time for dinner. He never spoke, up until now he is still a very quiet man.”

“Did that put a wedge in the family or anything like that?”

“No, he had his relationship with my mom, he always expected us to respect him no matter what. He was a little closer to my brother than he was to me, until I told him I decided I wanted to join, then he perked up with me.”

“Do you resent him at all?”

“Not at all, there is nothing to resent him for. He had a hard job, he wanted his kids to be seen and not heard. But he wasn’t a mean father, he was very nice, just quiet in the way he did things.” I watch as Dr. Kaplan takes notes every time I talk, she was nearly on a third page of paper my now.

“You’re openly gay with your family obviously, right?” She asks, putting her pen down and sitting back in her chair.

“I am.” I say with a small smile.

“That makes you happy.”

“It does. You would think having a father like mine he would be disapproving, but when I told my parents, they were both so happy that I finally told them. They said they always knew and were waiting for me to tell them.”

“Well that’s good to hear. It’s good you come from a loving and supportive family, and now you’re marrying a woman that is very loving and supportive as well.” She chimes. “Have you been with anyone other than Laura?”

“I have, I was with three other girls. I never was with a guy; I just didn’t feel the same way I did when I looked at a girl, like I didn’t feel that spark. The first girl I was with was when I was in Florida around the age of thirteen, we just got really close, she kissed me and then I had to pack up and move on my fourteenth birthday, I never spoke to her again. The other girl was Mattie, I met her on the army base in Germany; her father was working with my father. We hit it off and were a thing from day one, I lost my virginity to her so that says something. I think I’ll always love her, there is something about your first love that never goes away.”

“Does Laura know about Mattie?”

“No, I never told her.”

“Why not?”

“That’s a part of my life I don’t want to share with her. I don’t want to share something that didn’t end the way things should have ended.” I snap.

“How did things end with Mattie?”

“She wasn’t out to her parents, her father walked in on us in a peculiar circumstance, and the next morning they were gone, I never heard from her ever again. I don’t want to talk about it with Laura, it isn’t any of her business anyway.”

“Okay, and what about the last girl?”

“I met Ell on the beach the first day I got here when I was seventeen. She was eighteen, alluring, she approached me; we were very similar. Ell and I weren’t exclusive, we really just slept together and Laura knew that. I kind of flaunted the issue a bit, but one day Ell just left out of nowhere. She lied about having to move. Either way the last I heard she was with Laura’s ex girlfriend from high school now I think.”

“Your tone changes when you talk about Ell, she really upset you didn’t she?”

“She made me very mad, yes. Funny thing is Laura warned be about her, but I didn’t want to believe it at the time.”

“And now you’re going to marry her.” Dr. Kaplan says with a lighthearted laugh.

“She knows what’s best.” I shrug.

“I’d like to see you again in a couple of days, rather than a week, is that okay with you?”

“I suppose so.” I shrug.

“You’re the patient Carmilla, you have a say in this just as must as I have a recommendation. I’m _recommending_ a couple of days, but it’s your treatment, what would you feel better with?”

“Same time on Friday?” I ask, seeing as that was the end of the workweek and it may be a good idea to blow off some steam before going home cranky to Laura. I watch as Dr. Kaplan taps away at her iPad, before smiling.

“How about Friday at three-thirty? Does a half hour really make a difference for you or is that okay?”

“That’s okay, I can help Perry a little bit after my shift to kill the time.”

“Okay so it’s settled, I will see you Friday. It was very nice meeting you and I look forward to seeing you again.” She says as we stand up and she walks with me back to the front of the house. The walk back to our apartment wasn’t long. I walked through the door and found Laura at her desk assaulting her keyboard as she usually did. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her, kissing her on the cheek and resting my chin on her shoulder.

“How was it?” She chimes, looking at me slightly with a smile.

“It was good. It was nice to talk to someone new.”

“That must mean she’s good if you feel that way.”

“Dr. Kaplan was very nice. I’m talking with her again on Friday at three-thirty, she didn’t want to really do a whole week so I think I’ll mostly be seeing her twice a week.”

“That’s wonderful Carm.” She says cheerfully. “I’m happy you feel comfortable enough to talk openly with her.”

“I am too cupcake. What do you want to do tonight? Want to go out?”

“Wanna go to that sushi place we like?”

“Sounds good to me.” I say with a smile, leaning in to kiss her. “I just want to change.”

“No problem.” She smiles, turning her attention back to her article.

* * *

 

The rest of the week goes by quickly and before I know it, I’m sitting with Dr. Kaplan again on her back porch looking at the ocean. “How was your week Carmilla?”

“It was good, I have Wednesday off, and so did Laura so we just stayed home and cleaned up a bit, then we met Perry and her partner for dinner.”

“Your boss Perry, correct?”

“Yes ma’am, Laura has known Perry and Laf since middle school or something like that, I’ve known them since high school.”

“That’s good that you’ve been able to keep in touch that long.”

“Yeah.”

“Want to talk about the war?” She asks in a somewhat blunt fashion.

“I don’t know.” I say, looking down at my lap.

“We don’t have to talk about it today if you don’t want to, but you will have to eventually, you know that right?”

“I never agreed to that, I know I have to do it, I know it’s what Laura wants, but it isn’t something I _have_ to talk about any time soon.”

“But you will talk about it, yeah?”

“Eventually. I will.” I sigh.

“Is there a reason you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I didn’t want to bring it home with me. Everything that happened I left there because that’s where it belongs. It doesn’t belong in my head at all. So I haven’t brought home and there is nothing further to talk about. Laura may seem like I’m acting differently, and I’m a little into myself more so now than before I left, but that’s nothing more than the fact that I was in a different part of the world for so long that I’m still getting used to being home again. I hate when she worries about me, I don’t like her to be upset on a count of me.” I explain.

“I can understand why you feel that way, I can understand why you don’t want to talk about it. I think it’s very healthy that you committed to not bringing that home with you.”

“I wouldn’t be able to live my life here if I didn’t. I know a few people that brought their work home with them and it didn’t work out well. It’s better to leave the life there. My father told me that, I had to protect my family there and come home to my family here, but never bring the work back home. That’s what kept him together too.”

“Your father is very wise.” Dr. Kaplan says with a smile. “How would you feel if I asked you to bring Laura with you next week?”

“I’d have to ask her, I don’t think she would mind, I don’t mind.”

“What day works for her?”

“Tuesday should be good, again I’d have to run it by her.”

“No, I understand, I’m still marking you in for Tuesday at three for you next appointment anyway.”

“No problem.” I say with a smile.

 

-Laura POV-

“Hey!” Carmilla calls out as she walks into the apartment, I hear her footsteps come closer as she walks through the apartment to the kitchen.

“How was your day?”

“It was good.” She says, walking up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

“There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

“You know me too well, it scares me sometimes.” I turn around and face her with a smile. “Dr. Kaplan would like you to come to my next appointment, she really didn’t go into why but I told her I would ask you.”

“When is your appointment?”

“Tuesday at three.”

“I’m sorry Carm, I have a meeting.” I say, watching her face fall a bit. “I can try to make it to the one after that though.”

“Okay.” She says, kissing me on my forehead before walking out of the kitchen.

“Is there anything else bugging you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure, I –”

“You worry about me, I know Laura; you always worry about me. It seems as though that’s all you know how to do is worry about me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need you to worry about me all the time, I’m not a child. I don’t want to be treated like one.”

“I don’t treat you like I child at all, and I don’t understand how being concerned about you is considered to be treating you like a child.”

“I don’t need you to worry about me and that’s that.” She says, walking into the bedroom and slamming the door.

“Wait a minute!” I shout, storming into the room. “Last time I checked, this ring on my finger meant that you are willing to commit whole heartedly to me, you want to be with me forever and have a family. I feel like that gives me a right to worry and be concerned about you!”

“I’m not having this conversation.”

“Why because it’s going to go around in circles, it seems as though you just feel like yelling.”

“I do feel like yelling! I’m sick of working in that shitty café since I’ve been home. I only really go see that Dr. Kaplan lady because I know it makes you happy. I feel as though I have nothing to fucking do here but work at that place, talk to the doctor and come home to you every day being just so… you!”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re so caring, so cheerful. You never get mad at me, you never yell at me for anything. Have you seen the bathroom? You have yet to really yell at me for that!”

“You’re mad that I haven’t yelled at you for leaving slime every where in the bathroom? I don’t even understand how you produce real slime. It’s like some weird scene from the Ghostbusters movie.”

“Well yell at me for it. I want things to be how they were before I left. Since I’ve been back you’ve been nursing me like if you do something weird it will trigger me.”

“You have been acting odd, I didn’t know how to take it.”

“I’ve been half way around the world for a year doing a very draining job. I know I haven’t been myself since I got home, that’s because my body and brain has been so tired. It’s only been two weeks cupcake.”

“I’m sorry I overreacted.”

“And I’m sorry I made the bathroom slimy.” Carmilla walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist, kissing me on the forehead.

“I love you and your messes I neglect to yell at you for.” I mumble into her chest.

“I love you too, even though I make messes sometimes just for you to yell at me.”

“You’re a pain in the ass.”

“I’m your pain in the ass.” She smiles, kissing me softly.


	14. Falling for her was…

**Falling for her was…**

-Carmilla POV-

“Ready?” Laura asks, interlacing our fingers as she holds my hand.

“Of course I am.” I knock on the door to Dr. Kaplan’s office, after the sounds of shuffling; she opens the door with a smile.

“Hello Carmilla, and you must be Laura. Come in, come in, don’t want you getting soaked out here.” She says, ushering us into her house to escape the rain. After Laura and I get settled on the couch together, I wrap my arm around her shoulder as she takes my other hand in hers. “It’s nice to put a face to a name.” Dr. Kaplan begins as she sits in an armchair across from us.

“The same could be said for you Dr. Kaplan.” Laura says with a smile.

“So, Laura, tell me a bit about yourself, nothing is off limits, you can say whatever you want to.”

“If you want to know briefly, I am an only child, my father and mother both come from rather large families which makes the fact that they just had me feel a little strange, you’d think they’d want a large family as well.” Laura went on to tell the doctor about growing up as an only child with two parents that worked a lot. Some of the things I never even heard prior to today.

“Okay, why don’t you tell me a little bit about your relationship with Carmilla.”

“Carm and I are amazing.” Laura begins, taking her hand in mine and looking over at me. “She has her quirks, but don’t we all?”

“How about wedding plans, have you started doing that?”

“We have a little bit, but not entirely.” I say with a smile. “All we know is the colors are navy blue and yellow, and I have given Laura full reign of whatever else she wants.”

“Giving me the power in picking the cake is going to be something you wished you never did.” Laura chimes with a playful grin.

“Yeah because you are going to try every single cake Perry is willing to make at least three times before you finally pick the one you want to have, hoping we will actually get a piece on the wedding day.”

“You’re just a party pooper.” Laura slaps me playfully on the arm.

“No, I’m just not addicted to sugar like you are.” I tease her, kissing the side of her head.

“You must annoy all of your friends with how adorable you two are.” Dr. Kaplan chimes.

“We do, yes.” Laura says.

“That just means you’re love is more than enough if you ask me. If you can annoy your friends with how much you love each other, you’re set for life. My husband and I had the same effect of our friends and children.” Dr. Kaplan chimes. “How was it when you first met Carmilla, what was it like?”

“It was odd.” Laura lets out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t like her at first to be honest, there wasn’t anything to like about her, she was snarky and sarcastic, she seemed to be full of herself. But then I learned that, that was how she wanted the world to see her, when I had the chance to really get to know her, after she wouldn’t leave me alone mind you, I knew that she was the girl for me. My girlfriend before Carmilla was so clingy and was more of a father or mother figure than she was a girlfriend, I loved Danny and all, but then Carmilla came into my life and I realized what I wanted out of a relationship, naturally falling for her was easy. So things took their course and one thing lead to another and now we’re getting married.”

“That’s pretty much it doc.” I say with a smile.

“How was it for you when Carmilla was away?”

“It was hard the first couple of months, but then it got a little easier. There was always the worry when a letter didn’t come on time, or when a Skype call went wrong. I didn’t know how I was going to last sometimes. But I knew that she was there doing something important and it was something she wanted to do with her life. I had conversations with her mom about what it was like when her husband was away, so that helped a lot. Throwing myself into work was also a way I kept really busy. So I guess it’s easy to say it was very bittersweet. But she’s home now, and hopefully for good.” Laura says, curling into my side.

“What about you Carmilla? I know we have discussed this a little bit, but I think you should share a bit in front of Laura.”

“I went there to do what was expected of me, I missed Laura every second I was there, she was always at the forefront of my mind, she was the focus to keep myself together. If it wasn’t for the thought of coming home to her at the end, I may have fallen victim of PTSD to a real extent. Laura kept me home, she kept me knowing where I was needed the most, and that helped me through a lot of tough situations. I couldn’t succumb to losing myself in the war if that meant not coming home to Laura. I love her with so much of my being that it sometimes scares me, that I could love someone to the degree that I love Laura, I amaze myself sometimes.” I explain, looking over at Laura to see tears in her eyes. “Don’t cry.” I say, grabbing a tissue from the coffee table and wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I love you.” She says quietly with a small smile.

“I love you too.”

“You two are so cute.” Dr. Kaplan coos.

“Thank you doctor.” Laura says.

“Okay girls, the time is up, Carmilla I will see you Friday, and Laura it was nice meeting you.”

“It was nice to meet you too.” Laura says as we stand up from the couch and walk out of the office. “It stopped raining.” Laura points out as she takes my hand in hers.

“What do you want to do cupcake?”

“Whatever you want to.” She says with a smile, kissing me on the cheek.

“Well the rain seemed to let up a bit, wanna go walk on the beach?”

“Okay, but I want to go to our beach.”

“Whatever you want to do cupcake.” I say, kissing the side of her head as we walk over to the car.

 

-Laura POV-

“Hey Carm?” I ask as we walk along the shoreline hand in hand

“Yeah?”

“We should set a date.”

“When do you want to get married cupcake?” She asks, looking at me with a smile.

“Maybe next spring? Or in June.”

“Whenever you want to sweetie, we will get married. I want your special day to be happy, and as long as you’re happy, I will be happy.” She says, kissing me on the side of my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. More than you could ever imagine.”

“You’re such a sap.” I tease, resting my head on her shoulder.

“Only for you my love.” She smiles.

“Well look who it is.” A voice chimes from in front of us; I look up to see Danny and Ell standing hand in hand.

“Hello Ell, hello Danny.” Carmilla says, squeezing my hand a bit.

“How are you guys?” Ell says.

“We’re good, how are you?”

“Same old same old. Why so quiet Laura?” She asks.

“Carm’s just quick to answer. Why are you quiet Danny?” I ask, watching Danny carefully.

“Ell’s more inquisitive than I am.” She shrugs. “You look good.”

“Thanks Danny.”

“You look good too Carmilla.” Ell chimes.

“Thanks.” Carmilla says. “Well this has been fun, Laura and I have to get home, come on cupcake.” She says, pulling me past Ell and Danny.

“Danny looked miserable.” I say quietly.

“Ell has that power.”

“Danny doesn’t deserve that.”

“There must be a reason she stays around, she had the power to leave just like anyone. Why do you care anyway? She hasn’t talked to you in months.”

“I just have known her for so long and even though we didn’t hit it off for a long period of time, she still doesn’t deserve whatever she is getting out of that relationship, like if it’s negative at all.”

“Maybe she was just having a bad day, maybe everything is peachy and there is nothing for you to be concerned about.” Carmilla says, squeezing my hand a bit.

“I guess so.” I shrug.

“Don’t worry about her, I don’t like when you worry.”

“I always worry, it’s in my blood.”

“I know. It’s something that makes you amazing, now are we going home or what?”

“Home.” I say quietly, turning to kiss her on the cheek before she pulls me back towards the direction of the car.

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Cupcake?” I call out as I walk out of the bathroom after taking a shower and looking for Laura in the apartment.

“Watching TV!” I walk into the living room to see Laura sitting on the couch with a box of cookies on her lap, watching reruns of Buffy.

“You must know everything that happens in tat show and yet, you keep watching it.” I tease, sitting down beside her. “Can I have a cookie?”

“You have hands.” She says, not looking away from the TV. I move the box and lay my head on her lap dramatically.

“Feed me.” I smirk, looking up at Laura to see a smile on her face.

“You’re such a dork.” She says, putting a cookie in my mouth.

“Thank you.” I turn and watch the show, not really paying attention to what’s going on once Laura starts running her fingers through my damp hair.

“Carm?”

“Yeah?” I look up at her to see her looking down at me.

“I know we’ve talked about this once or twice, but I want to bring it up again.”

“You want to be a mom.” I state, watching her face turn read.

“I would like to, yes.” She smiles.

“When the time is right, we’ll try.” I say, reaching up at cupping her cheek.

“How many would you like to have?”

“One would be good, but maybe two. We’d have to see, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I love you.” She says with a smile, leaning down to kiss me.

“I love you too.” I whisper against her lips, kissing her again with more passion than before. “Let’s talk about the wedding before we jump over to babies.” I say as I sit up next to her.

“Okay, go.”

“I don’t want to have a themed wedding, I think that’s my only request.”

“Okay, we’ll keep it classic, nothing too fancy, nothing too out of place for us.” Laura says with a smile, kissing he side of my head.

“Thank you.”

“It’s your wedding just as much as it is mine, you have a say in whatever it is you want to have a say in.”

“Okay, we’re not having cookies at the wedding then.” I deadpan, watching Laura’s eye grow wide.

“You’re evil.” I couldn’t hold back the laughter after seeing the fear in her eyes. She shoves me over. “You’re a jerk sometimes.” She pouts.

“I’m sorry, I know you would call off the wedding if I ever did such a thing.”

“You’re damn right I would, but you know better than to do that.” Laura says with a smirk, getting up from the couch.

“What are you doing?” I call out, following her to our bedroom. She walks over to her side of the bed, opening the drawer of her bedside table and pulling out a notebook to write something down in it. “What’s that?” I look over her shoulder to try and see what she’s hiding.

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.” I say, snatching the book out of her hands. “Are you five?”

“What?” She whines, trying to get the book back from me.

“You keep a log of all the times I have been a jerk to you?”

“It’s to reflect on the fact that you have the tendencies to not be a jerk, like a reminder…”

“But you still tally it!”

“It’s not like I love you any less because of it. I just like to record it.” She shrugs.

“This makes me feel like jerk. I mean you go all the way back to high school and the only gaps are while I was away.”

“You said it makes you feel like a jerk, well that’s the point.”

“I don’t understand the logic, but I want to burn that book at our wedding. I don’t want to be reminded of the fact that I was ever an epic jerk to you.”

“Deal.”

“Deal?” I ask, tossing the book back in the drawer.

“Yeah, deal. You make the promise after our wedding, that as my wife you wont be a jerk, the book will be burnt ceremoniously at our wedding, we’ll make it an event during the wedding.” She says sticking her hand out for me to shake.

“Okay then.” I shake her hand and lean over to give her a kiss. “You’re such a child Hollis.”

“And you’re going to be forced to stop being a jerk Karnstein.” She whispers against my lips, kissing me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's another chapter down. Sorry it's been a few weeks, this happened and that happened. Oh went to NYC and saw the gals, that was fun. (If you read my other story you may already know that) Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Tumblr: juli-with-a-chance (If you want to drop by and say hi or something.)


	15. Carmilla I Swear…

**Carmilla I Swear…**

 

-Laura POV-

“Laura! Help your father!” My mom shouts from the back door. I turn to see my father coming in through the gate carrying bags of food. Nothing better than the traditional Hollis Fourth of July barbeque to keep things running smoothly in life. I rush over to him and grab a few bags from him.

“Thanks Laura, put those on the table and go help Carmilla, she needs it more than me.” I do as I’m told and run out to the front to see Carmilla standing in the driveway behind my dad’s truck.

“Hello cupcake.” She says with a smile, meeting me halfway to kiss me. “Help me with this.” She says, taking me by the hand to the back of my dad’s truck.

“He got a keg? Of course he did.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah and he thinks you’re going to help me with it.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Not what you think sweetie, I just don’t want you getting hurt by a keg of beer.”

“So basically what I was thinking.” I sigh. “Why isn’t he helping you?”

“Something about having to start smoking some kind of pork product, I don’t know. How are we going to get this down without killing ourselves?”

“I have an idea.” I say, running into the back yard and going into the shed.

“I am engaged to a genius.” Carmilla chimes as I come back to the front pushing a wheelbarrow.

“I know.” I smile, parking it under the truck bed. I climb onto the truck to help Carmilla shimmy the large keg into the wheelbarrow successfully avoiding injury. “You’re going to push that right?”

“Of course I am.” She says, lifting the wheelbarrow with somewhat ease and rushing it to the back yard.

“Why did you nearly run?”

“It was heavier than I thought and to run a bit made it easier than struggling with it.” She explains.

“Whatever logically helps you feel better about struggling.” I tease. Carmilla rolls her eyes and smiles at me before kissing me and taking my hand, leading us inside.

“Hello Carmilla.” My mom chimes.

“Hello mama, how are you.” She says, walking over to kiss my mom on the cheek.

“Very well thank you, did you and Sherman get everything he needed?”

“Yes ma’am.” She nods, taking a cherry tomato out of its container and popping it on her mouth. “Is Sherman getting his meat monster together to smoke?”

“He had to run upstairs to change into his ‘meat smoking clothes’ whatever that means.”

“I’m not asking questions.” Carmilla says, raising her hands in mock surrender.

“Don’t ask questions then.” I say with a smirk. “He’s always been that way.”

“He’s a character.” My mom shrugs as she puts together a salad.

“You would have a shirt with a pig on it.” Carmilla snickers when my dad walks into the kitchen.

“So you aren’t surprised?”

“Not at all sir.” She says, trying to hold back the laughter.

“Well then.” He says melodramatically, grabbing what he needs before walking outside.

“He’s going to be your father-in-law.” I say, watching Carmilla’s smile grow a bit.

“And the mystery that is Sherman Hollis will never be solved, it will just intensify.”

“Probably.” I shrug, wrapping an arm around her waist when Carmilla walks over to me. “Just wait until he’s a grandpa, then he’ll really be a character.”

“Grandpa? Does that mean I’ll be a grandma?” My mom chimes, looking at Carmilla and I with a wide smile.

“One day we hope.” Carmilla says, smiling down at me.

“That’s wonderful.” My mom nearly shrieks, walking around the counter to give Carmilla and I a hug. “I can’t wait to be a grandma.”

“Well the day we get the confirmation that I am indeed pregnant, you will be the first to know mom.” I say with a smile.

“Thank you sweetie.” She says, kissing me on the cheek before getting back to what she was doing. The rest of the night went by rather smoothly, that was until Carmilla began to get a little drunk.

“Cupcake!” She says with a dopey grin, walking over to my and draping her arm around my shoulder. “I love you.” She slurs, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“I love you too Carm.”

“No like I really, really love you so much.”

“I know Carm, I think you should switch over to water soon.”

“C’mon, I don’t wanna yet. Soon I promise, like in an hour or two, maybe after that, I don’t know.” She rambles. “You’re so beautiful.” She says dopily.

“Thank you.”

“Whoa, Karnstein is really drunk.” Laf chimes from behind me.

“Shut it science nerd.” Carmilla says, glaring at them before taking a swig from her beer.

“She’s getting away with being this level of drunk because she hasn’t and doesn’t drink this much usually. It’s a hall pass of sorts. Where’s Perry?”

“She is comparing recipes with you mom on her berry crisp or something.” They say, rolling their eyes a bit. “So I am left to flounder around.”

“You’re not a fish.” Carmilla says with a laugh.

“That’s not what that means sweetie.” I say, patting her hand.

“I want a peanut butter brownie.” She says, kissing me on the cheek and turning on her heels.

“She’s a keeper.” Laf says.

“She is, I love her to death, even when she’s borderline sloppy drunk. How are you and Perry doing?”

“We’re good, we’re really good.” They say with a smile.

“That’s good.”

“So I’m just going to say it seeing as it’s been a while since we really talked about it, but Danny said she saw you a couple of months ago.”

“Yeah, we saw her and Ell on the beach. It was a bit awkward and short lived. We didn’t day much.” I shrug.

“Basically what Danny said.”

“So then why did you bring it up?” I say, watching Carmilla carefully.

“Just wanted to see if the stories matched up.”

“You’re annoying, why do you even talk to Danny still?”

“She talks to Perry and Kirsch still talks to me, he’s still lost to the fact that Danny is gay and won’t talk to her.” They shrug.

“Kirsch has been trying to get with Danny since elementary school.”

“And the puppy boy still can’t catch a hint.”

“No he can’t.” I say, looking over to see Carmilla helping my dad with setting up fireworks. “Oh no! I gotta go Laf!” I shout, running across the yard to her. “Carmilla you’re not helping with this!”

“Why not creampuff?” She whines.

“Carmilla I swear, you made it home in one piece after being in the war, you are not going to chance being blown up in my parents’ backyard.”

“You’re no fun.”

“And you should have thought about this before drinking as much as you did.” I say, taking her by the hand and leading her into the house, sitting her at the kitchen table. “Drink this.” I say, placing a bottle of water in front of her. She sighs and does as she’s told.

“I love you.” She says a bit out of breath from chugging half a bottle of water.

“I love you too.” I say, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I hope I don’t feel dead in the morning.”

“I hope so too.”

“Will you take care of me?” She pouts.

“Of course I’ll take care of you.” I smile, kissing her pout away. “You smell like the inside of that beer keg.”

“I feel like the inside of the beer keg.”

“Whatever you say baby.” I chuckle, kissing her forehead.

“You’re like my favorite person ever, like I never had a favorite person until you.”

“That’s good to know.”

“I can’t wait to get married to you, like so that way you can really be mine forever.”

“I can’t wait to marry you either.” I say, kissing the top of her head.

“You’re going to be an amazing wife, like I can’t wait. And I think you’re going to be an awesome mom. I think I’ll be an awesome mom too, but you’ll be better.”

“We’ll both be great mothers, there isn’t one that will be better.”

“But you have a motherly thing about you, I don’t really.”

“We don’t have to worry about that until we have a kid. Until then, we will worry only about our wedding.”

“Okay.” She whispers, resting her head on my chest. “Can we go home?”

“Yes, we can go home.” I say, running my fingers through her hair.

“Do we have to say goodbye?”

“I’ll say goodbye for us.” I say quietly.

 

-Carmilla POV-

I wake up to a pounding in my ears and a sour feeling in my stomach. “You’re up.” I hear Laura say quietly from the doorway.

“I feel like crap.” I groan, sitting up carefully.

“Ginger ale and aspirin.” She says, walking over to me with the items in her hand.

“I love you.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how shitty do you feel?”

“Seven.”

“Better than I thought.” She says, sitting on the edge of the bed and running her fingers through my hair and smiling at me. “Are you up for eating anything?”

“Not really.” I grimace.

“Are you up for seeing your mom today, apparently you made plans with her and she is holding you to it.”

“I don’t recall making plans with her. Can you come with me?”

“No can do, I have to drop by the office for a meeting.” She says sadly, kissing me on the forehead.

“I can’t see my mother like this, she’ll kill me.” I whine, throwing Laura’s pillow over my face.

“Well seeing as your mother saw you last night while you were drunk beyond compare, I think she would like to know that her daughter is alive and well.”

“I guess you’re right, but still.”

“Just go, you’ll be okay.”

“When are you coming home?” I ask, getting out of bed carefully.

“My meeting is at two-thirty, so probably around five if I don’t get stuck there and as late as seven if I do.”

“Please don’t get stuck there.” I say, walking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck.

“I’ll try not to. Don’t you have to work later anyway?”

“I don’t know, I have to see if Perry texted me.” I say, kissing her neck.

“I know what you’re trying to do, and what’s going to happen is a whole lot of you still having to see your mother.” Laura says, breaking out of my embrace. “And I still have to make it to work across town.”

“Meanie.” I pout, walking out of our room and into the bathroom.

“You know I am the least meanest person to you.” Laura says, leaning against the doorway of the bathroom.

“But I don’t feel good and now I’m forced to go see my mother while you’re at work all day.” I whine.

“Ah, it sucks doesn’t it? Now imagine being on your own for a whole year.”

“That was an unfair punch to the gut.”

“Well stop whining about me having to do my job and I won’t whine about you when you have to do yours.” She says, turning on her heels. “I’ll see you later!” She calls out before closing the door with force.

* * *

 

“Hi mom!” I call out as I walk through the front door.

“Hello my darling daughter.” She coos, walking out of the living room to give me a hug in the entryway. “How are you feeling? You look like you were having a lot of fun last night.

“I feel like crap, I’ve been drinking water all morning.” I say, holding up my water bottle.

“Well I would think so, how’s Laura?”

“She’s working, she had to go in for a meeting and may be staying late.” I sigh, throwing myself on the couch.

“What’s wrong?”

“Laura and I had a mini argument this morning, she left the house upset.”

“What happened?”

“I was whining about her going to work and then she said something along the lines of ‘imagine if I had to work for a year’ meaning her and it just hit me hard.” I explain, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Well it isn’t fair to her for you to say something like that, she does have a point. She’s going to be coming home after a long day and you were only coming home after a long year. Laura does a lot for you, she stays faithful, she doesn’t let your job get in the way of your lives together, you shouldn’t make her feel bad that she has to work a long day.” My mom says.

“I know. I just miss her when she’s gone.”

“Which is normal, but you shouldn’t make her feel bad about doing what she loves.”

“I’ve thought about doing a tour again.”

“Why?”

“Because I liked doing it…” I trail off, chancing a look at her.

“I’m guessing you haven’t told Laura.”

“No I haven’t, I’ve only been thinking about it, I haven’t really considered doing it. I might apply to like community college or something, I can’t keep working with Perry at that café, I just can’t.”

“So then apply to college, you graduated with high marks, it shouldn’t be a problem for you to get into school, and you’re still young. I would rather you do that than serve again.”

“I know Laura would rather me go to school than serve too, just talking about when I served bothers her all the time.”

“For the sake of your life with Laura, and the sake of what you girls want to build, you should go to school rather than serve, you get the benefit from the military anyway, they will pay for you to go to school.” My mom explains.

“Then I’ll do that.”

“Talk to Laura about it first.”

“I know mom.”

“Is everything else okay?” She asks. “Are you still seeing the therapist?”

“Yeah, I like seeing her. It’s nice to have an outside person to talk to.”

“That’s good sweetie.”

“Laura and I have been talking about children.” I say, watching her face light up.

“You have?” She chimes. “That’s wonderful sweetheart. Are you okay with that? I mean I know it’s just talk now, but when the time comes it will be a real decision to make on both ends.”

“I think we will have at least one, Laura wants to be a mother really bad. She deserves that.”

“And I deserve at least one grandchild, seeing as your brother doesn’t seem to be interesting in having kids any time soon.”

“How is Willy Boy? I haven’t been in touch with him in a while.”

“He’s doing very well, he’s making his movie is Europe and has been busy so he doesn’t talk much on a regular basis.”

“At lease he’s doing something that he loves.” She shrugs. “Are you up for eating anything?”

“Not really, I’m never drinking that much again.”

“You say that now, just wait until you have alcohol at the wedding.” My mom teases.

“I don’t want something special like that to be tainted by alcohol.”

“You must really love her.”

“I don’t need anything but Laura to make me happy, and I don’t want to make a blubbering idiot of myself when it comes to marrying her.”

“You want to know something?” My mom asks, a small smirk on her face.

“Sure.”

“You make me feel so proud to call you my daughter. Everything you choose to do in your life, you always consider those you love, and the way you talk about Laura is something that I am very proud of you for. You treat her like she’s the only thing that matters and that’s how a spouse is supposed to be, until you have kids, but I know you are going to be the best mother in the entire world. Don’t ever second guess yourself when it comes to being a parent, I know you have a habit of doing that in some cases. You’re doing good Carmilla, you’re doing really good.”

“Thanks mom.” I say, getting up and giving her a hug.

“I love you Carmilla.”

“I love you too mom.”

 

-Laura POV-

I walk through the door to see Carmilla lying on the couch reading a book with Weasley at her feet. “Hey.” I say quietly, still feeling a bit uneasy of the near catastrophic argument we had early.

“Hey cupcake.” She smiles, closing her book as I walk over to the back of the couch and lean down to kiss her. “How was your day?”

“Good, busy.” I say, kissing her again before walking into the bedroom to change quickly. “How was time with your mom?”

“Good, we just talked. I still didn’t feel good when I got there so I didn’t eat or anything.” I lift up her legs and sit down, draping her legs over my lap. “We had a nice talk either way. I’m sorry about what happened this morning.”

“No I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” I say, rubbing her leg.

“It’s okay cupcake, I promise. I know my job doesn’t help you in anyway when I’m gone. And I shouldn’t whine when I get to see you at the end of a long day.”

“It’s okay Carm, don’t feel bad. I’d whine if you had a regular job too. You know that.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking of maybe going to school. I can’t keep working at that café forever.”

“You should do that, you’ll enjoy it. What do you think you’ll study?”

“Maybe philosophy or English, something along those lines. I enjoyed learning about both in high school so, why not?”

“I’m proud of you Carmilla, no matter what.” I say, leaning over to kiss her. “I love you.”

“I love you too cupcake.”

“Whatever you decide to do, I will be there to support you.”

“What if I decided to do a tour again?” She asks, looking at me carefully.

“I wouldn’t agree with it, but I would support it if you decided to go and do your job.” I say quietly.

“I have considered it, I’m not going to lie to you, but I just want you to know that.”

“I like when you’re honest, and if you decided to do a tour somewhere I wouldn’t be opposed to it, I just would like for you to think it through and not do it spontaneously.”

“Okay.” She says with a smile.


	16. What are you doing…?

**What are you doing…?**

-Carmilla POV-

“Carmilla?” Laura asks, walking into the bedroom.

“Yes?” I say, not looking up from the book that I’m reading. I see her out of the corner of my eye walking over to the bed, she takes the book from my hand, placing a bookmark in that and putting in on the bedside table before straddling my waist. “Can I help you?” I smile, placing my hands in her waist.

“Maybe.” She shrugs, placing her hands on my chest.

“Are you going to play vague? You know what that does to me.” I say quietly, leaning in to kiss her.

“I want something.”

“Okay. What do you want?”

“ _Something…_ ” She chimes, looking at me with an innocent smile.

“You want something? Okay. I want to finishing my reading before I fall behind.”

“Can we go look at our wedding invitations?”

“What about them cupcake? I thought we were finished with them.”

“I know but I just… I’m bored and you’re in here reading, I have nothing to do.”

“I thought you had an article?”

“I finished it a couple of hours ago, I did the laundry, I even went shopping all while you’ve been in here reading for the past four hours.”

“I’m sorry cupcake, I have to really finish this up before tomorrow. I had to read double the amount because I missed the first week. I’m sorry.” I say, leaning in to kiss her. “You can stay in here while I finish. I promise, I’m almost done with it.”

“Then can we do something?”

“Whatever you want to do.”

“Can we go to the movies?” She asks, rolling onto her back and resting her head on my chest.

“Whatever you want.” I say, kissing the top of her head and grabbing the book. After about an hour of reading and running my fingers through Laura’s hair absentmindedly, I was finished with the reading. I close the book and sigh, looking down to see Laura sound asleep. I kiss the top of her head softly and chuckle a bit when I see Weasley curled up next to Laura’s legs. “Everyone took a nap but me.” I say quietly to myself. Seeing as Laura was practically curled up on top of me, I had the option of taking a nap myself, or waking her up.

“Carm stop moving.” Laura mumbles against my chest.

“I’m not even moving.”

“But you were thinking about it.” She looks up at me, and smiles. “Hi.”

“Hello there.” I say, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yes I did, you’re so comfortable.”

“So you’ve told me.” I run my fingers through her hair.

“Do you want to still see a movie?” She asks quietly, nuzzling into my neck.

“I’m assuming you don’t want to.” I chuckle, as Laura shakes her head no.

“I want to stay in bed.”

“Fine by me.” I say, making myself more comfortable.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I say as we both turn on our sides at the same time, resulting in my wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her into my front.

 

-Laura POV-

After about another half an hour of sleep I was wide awake, I turn to see Carmilla was still sleeping, trying hard not to wake her up, I turned slowly to face her. After all these years, watching her sleep was still just as beautiful as it was the first time. There is something so peaceful about her that it’s hard not to get lost in the way her nose crinkles as she dreams, how she mumbles incoherently, how she seems to be at ease with everything. Even after she came home from being in the Middle East, I was happy to know that she didn’t succumb to nightmares of what it was like over there or things of that nature, although that was hindsight now, seeing as she had been home for a few months, it was still something that was comforting.

“I can feel you staring at me cutie.” Carmilla mumbles in her sleep as she opens one eye and looks at me with a smirk.  

“I like staring at you when you sleep.” I say, kissing the tip of her nose.

“Creepy.” She teases, leaning in to kiss me softly before sitting up in bed and stretching. “What do you want to do sweetness?”

“I don’t know, want to go meet with Perry today? Maybe she’ll be willing to let us, me, sample cakes today rather than tomorrow.”

“Whatever you want to do.” She shrugs, kissing me again before getting out of bed.

“I’ll text her and ask.” I say, reaching over to grab my phone from the bedside table.

“I don’t want to be there forever mind you, I know you love your sweets, but your maximum amount of tasting is seven!” Carmilla calls out from the hallway.

“She makes like twelve different flavors though!”

“I don’t care, you know I hate carrot cake, and anything with cannoli filling, and how many times do you have to eat chocolate cake? The only thing that changes is the filling, and I don’t like the chocolate mint cake she makes.” Carmilla says, walking back into the room.

“Okay, truce, seven it is.” I say, looking down to see Perry texted me back. “She said we could come whenever we want to.”

“Okay cupcake. Now, where are we having the reception? We have to really pick a place soon.”

“Why don’t we have a little backyard wedding? We don’t need to have it at some fancy place, there’s more than enough room in my parents’ backyard, even your backyard…”

“I like that idea.” She says with a small smile. “We’ll talk to our parents about it soon. See who wants the mess more.” She teases.

“Probably your parents.” I say with a smirk.

“That means my dad will make me clean even though it’s my wedding day.”

“Yeah that won’t be fun.”

“When do you want to go?” Carmilla asks, standing between my legs.

“Want to go now?”

“The sooner you get over your sugar rush, the better.” She says, kissing the top of my head and pulling me to my feet.

 

-Carmilla POV-

We walk into the nearly empty café and are greeted by a, very perky, Perry. “Hey guys.”

“Hey Perry.” Laura says.

“Are you ready to taste cake? Come, sit at the counter.” Perry says, waving us over as she puts a try on the counter.

“Laura has a limit Betty Crocker, no more than seven tastes.” I say, sitting down after Laura.

“Oh, I know, Laura has already informed me.” Perry says, pouring me a cup of coffee and Laura a cup of cocoa. “So let’s get started.” She says with an excited smile.

“Carm I can’t choose between the raspberry filled one, or the double chocolate. Which do you like more?” Laura asks, licking the fork before taking another bite of everything on the tray. “Ooh, maybe this lemon one.”

“Sweetie, take a breath. Perry can you give her some water? She needs to start flushing the sugar. And I like the lemon one.”

“How big are you making the cake, how do you want it to look?” Perry asks, pouring Laura a glass of water.

“I don’t know, I think I want a tier cake, like three tiers.” Laura says.

“You can do a flavor a tier if you want. I don’t mind doing that.”

“Can we do that Carm?”

“Whatever you want love.” I say with a smile as she leans over and kisses me.

“How about the bottom we’ll do lemon, then raspberry, and chocolate at the top, seeing as it’s my favorite and I want the whole top tier to myself.” She says with a childlike grin.

“Fine by me. That okay with you Perry?”

“Whatever you guys want, I just don’t want to get a call changing things every couple of days, so this is what you want Laura?”

“Yes, this is what I want Perry. Thank you so much for doing this.” Laura says, getting out of her chair and walking around the counter to give Perry a hug.

“Yeah, thank you Perry.” I say, following Laura’s lead and giving Perry a hug, catching her off guard a bit. “Don’t tell anyone I did that.” I tease, causing her to laugh a bit.

“Your secret is safe with me Carmilla, this isn’t a problem anyway. I know you guys want to have the best wedding you can, and I wouldn’t want Laura’s favorite part to be in the hands of anyone else by myself.”

“Thanks Per.” Laura says again.

“No problem ladies.” She says with a smile. “I don’t mean to chase you out, but if I don’t get home soon Lafontaine will be guaranteed to blow up something.” I helped Perry clean up a bit and lock up before saying our final goodbyes.

“What are we doing now cupcake?” I ask as Laura takes her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together.

“Home, I think I’d like to go home.” She says quietly.

“Whatever you want Laura.”

“Let’s take a rocket ship to the moon.”

“Whatever you want.” I smile, leaning in to kiss her softly.

“If only we could do that.”

“We may not be able to do that, but we can take a drive and see the stars.”

“Let’s do that.” She chimes, nearly jumping up and down.

“Okay.” I say with a smile as she kisses me again.

 

* * *

 

 

“So that’s the Big Dipper.” I say, looking up at the sky with a smirk.

“I know that, I learned that when I was in elementary school. Tell me something interesting about the stars Carm.” Laura says, curling up into my side as we lie on a blanket on the hood of the car. “What are you doing?” She asks as I reach into my pocket to grab my phone.

“I don’t know as much about the stars as you may think cupcake.” I admit. “But I am willing to not make a total jack ass out of myself so…” I say, looking at my phone and then looking up at the sky. “See over there, the group of stars that look symmetrical on both sides?”

“Yeah.” She says, rolling her eyes and smirking. “You’re cheating a bit, you know that.”

“I do know that, but I can’t disappoint my fiancée by not talking about the stars. Anyway, that over there is Gemini, the twins, the people we try our best to avoid.”

“Isn’t your mom a Gemini?”

“Hence why I avoid her when I need to, or tip-toe around her when I am around her, I learned that after I enlisted, that she really had bad mood swings and you never knew who you were dealing with. You never knew which twin was visiting.” I say watching Laura roll her eyes.

“You’re ridiculous, but that is a little true. Anyway.”

“See that little copper speck over there? That’s Mars. I didn’t have to cheat to tell you that one.” I say with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey Carm?”

“Yes cupcake.” I say, looking up at the sky and pulling her closer to me a little bit.

“Why do you like looking at the stars?”

“I like the thought that no matter where you are in the world they are exactly the same. When I was away, I knew that if you were looking at the moon, regardless of the time difference, when you saw the moon, you saw that same moon I did, there wasn’t anything different about it, there was nothing that changed between me looking at it and you looking at it. It’s comforting to know that no matter where we are in the world, there is always something that connects us to each other. It may seem silly, but it was always a thought when I would look outside, the same goes for the Sun, but the Sun doesn’t compare to the moon and night. The days could always vary, just as much as the nights can, granted, but most of the time the night sky is clear enough where it doesn’t interfere with anything.” I explain. “What?”

“You rambled your way to the end a little bit, but I understand what you mean and what you were trying to get at.” She says, leaning up to kiss me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.


	17. Home...

**Home…**

 

-Laura POV-

“Mommy?” Dylan asks as she comes rushing into the kitchen.

“Yes sweetie?”

“Do I have to give the speech at school tomorrow about mama?”

“You already signed up to do it, you have the speech already done and ready to go, what’s wrong?”

“What if everyone laughs at me, or I mess up? I don’t want to be the laughing stock of the fifth grade.” She sighs, resting her chin on my small bump as she looks up at me.

“You’ll do great. I promise, no one will laugh, no one will make fun of you. You’re talking about mama, someone who is really great, and would be so proud of you.”

“When is she coming home?”

“Check the board. I told you that.” I say as I point to the corkboard I had set up in the kitchen. It showed a map of the world showing where we were in the United States and where Carmilla was currently stationed in the Middle East for the past year and a half. On the table in front of it, I also had a clock set to ‘Mama Time’ so she and Lucas could know exactly what she could be doing at a certain time. Whenever they had a letter they wanted sent out, it went into the basket labeled ‘Mama Mail’ and if they had anything from Carmilla it went into the basket labeled ‘Monster Mail’. There was also the calendar date that showed Carmilla was to be coming home just before Christmas.

“Mama’s gonna be home in almost a month.” Dylan says excitedly.

“That’s why you’re giving the Veteran’s Day speech, to tell everyone how awesome mama is, so in exactly one month, December 11th, she’ll be home.” I say kissing the top of her head.

“I’m still nervous.”

“Don’t be, everything will be okay, I promise.” I smile, kissing the top of her head. “Your brother should be home soon, grandpa is staying for dinner.”

“Yay! What about grandma?”

“Of course grandma is coming too.”

“Yay, oh and I put poppy in my speech too. Mama said he was in the Military too.”

“He was, you know mama is going to want you to tell her the speech when she gets home.”

“I know.” Dylan sighs.

“At least it’ll just be in front of mama and not the whole fifth grade.”

“Hi mommy!” Lucas shouts as he runs into the kitchen. The five-year-old wraps his little arms around my legs.

“Hello sweetie, did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?”

“Lots, I got a new truck.” He says, holding up his new toy excitedly.

“That’s nice, did you say thank you?”

“Yep.” He nods, running out of the kitchen.

“Hello girls.” My dad says, walking into the kitchen and giving Dylan a hug. “Are you ready for your speech tomorrow kiddo?” 

“Yeah.”

“She’s a little nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous kiddo, everything will be fine.” He smiles, ruffling her dark brown curls. “Your mama would love to know how much you love her and appreciate her service.”

“I tell her I love her every day when I talk to her on Skype.”

“Well now the whole fifth grade will know just how much you love your mother.”

“I know, I know.” Dylan sighs, walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“She just misses Carmilla.”

“I’m sure the three of you do.”

“We do, I can’t wait for her to be home.”

* * *

 

My parents, Carmilla’s parents, Lucas, and I are sitting in the bleachers of the elementary school gym listening to the different grades give their speeches about what Veteran’s Day means to them and how they feel about their loved ones helping the country. It came time for Dylan to give her speech, she walks up to the podium with her speech in hand, everyone in the gym clapped their hands and she smiles, clearing her throat before she started reading off of the paper. We all sit in awe, listening to Dylan speak so highly of Carmilla, I look over at Matt and Lilita to see tears in their eyes as Dylan brought him up in her speech. When he speech was over, everyone clapped. Everyone soon began to exit the gym, the kids staying close to the principal until the parents came to get his or her child. I walk up to Dylan and she smiles. “I did a good job mommy!”

“You did kiddo. You did so well, mama would be so proud of you.” I say, kissing the top of her head. 

“I wish she was home."

“I do too kiddo. Let’s get home, we have to Skype her soon.”

“Okay.” 

* * *

“Dylan wait a minute.” I call as she runs to the front door. I get Luke out of his car seat and carry him to the door, seeing as he fell asleep on the way back to the house.

“Can I unlock the door mommy?”

“Yeah, here you go.” I say, handing her the key. “You remember how to do it?”

“Duh.” She says, putting the key in the lock and opening the door. “I’m hungry.” She says, walking into the kitchen.

“Let me put your brother down and then I’ll make you something to eat.”

“I’ll take Luke.” A familiar voice says, taking the boy from my hands. I look up to see Carmilla with a wide smile on her face.

“Oh my god.” I whisper, wrapping my arms around her, nearly knocking her over. “You’re home.”

“I’m home.” She whispers in my ear, kissing the side of my head.

“Mommy what’s – Mama! You’re home.” Dylan shouts, running over to Carmilla and waking up Luke in the process.

“Mama!” He says, holding her tight.

“I’m home.” She says, trying to embrace us all at once. “I’m home for a very long time.”

“Yay, no more going away!” Dylan says with a smile.

“That’s right. As much as I love all this loving I’m getting, I’d like to take a shower with great water pressure and have something to eat.”

“Of course. What do you want?” I ask kissing her quickly.

“Chinese food from that little place we love so much.” She says, putting Luke down.

“Okay, I’ll have it delivered.”

“Okay.” She smiles, kissing me again before making her way upstairs.

“I know mama is home, and you’re both excited to see her, but it is still your naptime Lucas.”

“Okay mommy.” He says through a yawn as he makes his way up the stairs. I follow him up to his room, helping him change into something comfortable before settling him in for his nap. “Mama is still gonna be here?”

“She’s still gonna be here, I promise.” I say, kissing his forehead as he begins to drift off to sleep. I walk out of his room and into my room to find Carmilla bent over in a towel looking for her clothes. “That was a quick shower.” I chime, causing her to jump a bit.

“I didn’t even go in yet cupcake.” She says, standing up straight. “I was just looking for a pair of shorts to put on when I get out. I can’t seem to find any.”

“I may or may not wear them to sleep and they may or may not be in the laundry right now.” I explain, watching her smile. She walks over to me, kissing me softly as she places her hand on my small bump.

“How’s this little one?”

“In there, doing its thing.”

“I’m happy you decided to get pregnant again. Even if I wasn’t guaranteed to be here for it.”

“I always knew you were going to come home just in time. Knowing you, you’d come from the airport, leave your bags and everything behind in order to be with me while I was having the baby. It was time to have another one anyway, I miss having a baby around.”

“I know, I’m going to be here for this one, I’m going to be around for every milestone, every step, every word… I don’t want to miss this little one growing up, or seeing them grow up through a screen.” Carmilla says, kneeling in front of my belly. “Hear that little one? I’m going to be here for everything, you’ll get sick of me, but I don’t want to miss out like I missed out with your brother and sister.” She whispers, kissing my bump. Carmilla was given the shitty luck of having to leave just after giving birth to Dylan and Lucas. Even though she missed out in the physical sense, the kids always grew up knowing their mother, and knowing they had two mothers. This baby will at least have the physical presence of Carmilla, and not just know her through a computer screen for extended periods of time.

“Shower Carm, I’ll go order food. You can talk to the baby later.”

“Okay.” She smiles, kissing me softly before making her way into our en suite bathroom. I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to order food.

“Mommy?” Dylan asks, climbing onto the stool.

“Yes sweetie?”

“You think mama brought us something from where she was?”

“You’d have to wait for mama to tell you that now won’t you?” I smile.

“I know.” She sighs dramatically.

“She’ll be down soon.” 

“I missed mama so much.”

“We all missed mama sweetie, and mama missed us just as much.”

“I missed you all so much, I don’t want to leave this house for a week.” Carmilla chimes, walking into the kitchen and wrapping her arm around my waist.

“I don’t want to leave either.” Dylan says excitedly.

“You have school monkey, you can’t get around that.” Carmilla says. “I missed you very much, but school is still important and you can’t miss it.”

“Okay mama.”

“I’ll come pick you up every day though.”

“Okay, that’s fair.”

“Where’s Luke?”

“He’s taking a nap, he should be up in twenty minutes or so, he usually take a forty-five minute to an hour nap after school.” I say, watching Carmilla furrow her brow. “Dill, go watch TV and listen for the delivery guy.”

“Okay.” The girl says, walking out of the kitchen.

“Are you okay?”

“I know nothing about my kids.”

“You know everything about your kids. Lucas is only in kindergarten; he has a new schedule that he has only just started to get used to, since September. Dylan is in fifth grade, we’re approaching unchartered territory as we speak, and at a rapid pace, seeing as she’s going to be twelve in a couple of months and it’s all sideways from there.”

“Nothing’s going sideways.”

“Either way, before we know it, Dylan is will eighteen, Lucas will be a preteen, and this little monkey will be going off to kindergarten…” I trail off, patting my bump. “And I’m hoping to god you won’t be gone again. I hope you won’t leave me here for two to three years to keep raising our children while you’re off working.”

“I’m not going to be gone again. I’m done, I put in enough time, and I want to retire now. I’m going to retire now. I’ve put in more then enough time, I’m going to get a good retirement, and I’m going to be here to raise the kids. You can get back into the swing of working more; I know you love your job and had to take the time from doing it for our family and you deserve to get back into it full time, not just freelancing here and there.”

“You said that two years ago, and look what happened…”

“Cupcake…”

“Don’t.”

“Mama.” Luke says, rubbing his eyes as he walks into the kitchen.

“Hey kiddo.” Carmilla says, walking over and picking him up. “I want to talk about this later.”

“Fine.” I huff, walking over to my bag when I hear the doorbell ring.

* * *

“They’re asleep, finally.” Carmilla sighs, walking into the room and lying down next to me.

“Good.” I say quietly.

“I love you.” Carmilla whispers in my ear.

“I love you too.” I smile, kissing her softly.

“I’m going to try my hardest to not disappoint you anymore. I mean it when I say my job won’t be the wedge between us anymore.” She says softly, caressing my cheek. “I want to be here for all of you. I don’t want you to worry if I’m going to leave again, or if I’m going to be blown up, or if I’m never making it home. I want to be with you and the kids and I want for you to not worry anymore.”

“I’ll always worry about you, whether you’re half way across town or half way across the world.”

“Like that one time you thought I was going to blow myself up with fireworks at your dad’s Fourth of July party?”

“That was what kick started me worrying about you all the time.” I laugh at the memory.

“I know, but I just want you to know that I love you and will do everything in my power for you to not worry about me, to the full extent. I mean if I have to handle power tools or mow the lawn I know you’ll be a nervous wreck.”

“I’ll be a nervous wreck when you change this kid’s diaper and forget to put rash cream.”

“Well.” Carmilla says, moving so she’s face to face with my belly, she lips up my shirt, exposing my swollen midsection. “Hello little one. I know this voice doesn’t sound one bit familiar, you may be thinking who the heck I am talking to you, but I’m your mama, that’s right kid, you’re special enough to have two mother’s, as well as a brother and sister who will love you more than anything in the world, but not as much as mommy and I love you. I promise you, I’m going to be around so much you’re going to get sick of me little one.” She whispers, kissing above my belly button. “We’re going to be okay cupcake, I promise.”

“I believe you.” I whisper, running my fingers through her dark curls.


	18. Getting Back to Normal…

**Getting Back to Normal…**

-Carmilla POV-

I open my eyes and look up at the ceiling, something I haven’t done in years, waking up in my bed, in my house, look at the way the yellow walls meet the white ceiling of my bedroom. I sigh, turning on my side to see it was nearly noon. I get out of bed and make my way downstairs to find Laura standing in the kitchen cleaning. “Good morning.” I chime, kissing the side of her head.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?”

“Very well, it was nice to be in a real bed and not a crappy cot.”

“You talk in your sleep.” Laura smirks, wrapping her arms around me.

“Is that something new?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.

“Yeah, I never remember you doing that before.”

“What was I saying?”

“You were just mumbling incoherently.”

“If it gets worse, you’ll let me know?”

“Of course.” Laura smiles, leaning in to kiss me softly. “Are you hungry? Do you want anything?”

“Coffee for now cupcake, I’m not that hungry.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, coffee is fine.”

“Okay. I’ll fix you a cup if you want to go watch TV or something.”

“Thank you.” I smile, kissing her again and making my way into the den to watch TV. I plop down on the couch, turning on the news. Laura walks in a few moments later, placing a cup on the coffee table and sitting down beside me.

“I have to go shopping soon. Do you want to come with me?”

“Sure, what time do the monsters get home?”

“I have to pick them up at three, or you can get them. Dylan was excited about that thought.”

“I’ll go get them, they’re at the school around the corner, right?”

“Dylan is, Lucas goes to a different building that’s just for kindergarten. I can go pick him up. Dylan will be happy that she doesn’t have to wait for me to get there.”

“Then I’ll go get her at three, and you and I can go shopping now.”

 “Sounds perfect.” She smiles, kissing the side of my head.

* * *

“Carm, I know you’ve been in the middle of a desert for a while, but do you need to keep throwing junk food into the cart? Don’t you want to have some fruit or vegetables?”

“I missed chocolate chip cookies more than I missed fruits and vegetables.”

“I understand, but I never let the kids eat junk food like this.”

“Well you can get them back on track in a few days.”

“They’ll be happy about it I’m sure.”

“Don’t you remember how you used to eat nothing but cookies?”

“I do remember, I loved cookies and then there was that time I was pregnant with Dylan where I ate so many cookies and got so sick.”

“I remember that, we were on Skype and all you wanted to do was throw up.” I say, bowing my head at the thought of not being there with her. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is.”

“I’m not going to leave again.”

“I don’t want to talk about this in the middle of the snack aisle.”

“Okay.” I nod, kissing the side of her head, dropping the topic.

“Get rid of some of the junk food.” She chimes with a smile.

“Okay, okay.” 

* * *

I stood outside of the school amongst all of the parents waiting for their kids. I was playing with my phone when screaming kids starting running towards their parent, or whoever was there to pick them up, I stuff my phone into my pocket and look up to see Dylan walking out of the building with her head held low, she walks over to a bench and sits down with a huff. I walk over to her, crouching down to be at eye level with her. “Hey monk.”

“I didn’t think you were really gonna come mama.” She says with a smile, wrapping her arms around my neck, I stand up, holding her tight.

“Why wouldn’t I come get you?”

“I don’t know; you never really kept promises before.”

“I’m gonna keep my promises kiddo. I mean it.” I say, kissing her cheek.

“Okay mama. I’m hungry.”

“Well, mommy and I went food shopping before so there’s stuff at home.”

“Okay mama.” We get to the car and she climbs in the backseat, I close the door walking around to get into the driver’s seat.

“What?” I ask, looking at Dylan in the rearview mirror.

“Nothing.” She smiles, shaking her head. We get back to the house to see Laura was already home with Lucas. He was running in circles in the yard laughing to him self. I pull into the driveway next to Laura who was standing on the porch with a smile. We get out of the car, Dylan running over to chase her brother around the yard while I walk over to Laura.

“Hey cupcake.” I smile, kissing her on the cheek and putting Dylan’s bag by the door.

“Hey.” She says, kissing me softly. “Everything okay?”

“Perfect.” I wrap my arms around her waist, swaying back and forth.

 

-Laura POV-

Carmilla and I were swaying on the porch while the kids chased each other on the front yard. The neighbors doing their own thing, some stopping to say hello to Carm, other’s jogging down the block or walking their dogs. All was peaceful in sunny, southern California. All of a sudden there was a series of loud pops, some kid set off firecrackers a few houses over, I look to see Lucas and Dylan running past Carmilla and I, straight into the house. I look at Carmilla to see she her looking off into space for a moment. “Carm?” I shake her a bit. “Carmilla?” I repeat, nothing changing.

“What’s wrong mama?” Lucas asks, pulling at her hand. Carmilla blinks a couple of times before shaking her head.

“What?”

“Are you okay?” Lucas asks.

“Yeah, go by your sister.”

“Where did you go?” I ask, caressing her cheek. “You never had this problem before.”

“I’ll go talk. I promise.” She smiles, leaning in to kiss me softly. “I don’t want you to know where I went.” She whispers, resting her forehead against mine.

“You promise, really?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to be triggered by something, especially with the kids, I don’t want them to worry about me like that, they shouldn’t have to think about me going off into space when I’m supposed to be with them. I’m doing the right thing for everyone.”

“Okay.” I nod, running my thumb over the tear that fell from her eye. “I love you.”

“I love you too, more than you could ever know.”

* * *

“Do you want me to go with you?” I ask, stroking her forehead as we lay in bed, we woke up earlier than we needed to seeing as Carmilla was nervous about going to therapy.

“I’m okay to go by myself.” She smiles, looking up at me. “What should we name this one?” She asks, placing her hand on my growing belly.

“I don’t know, I think we should wait a little while.”

“Why are we going to wait? I think we should discuss this now, kinda.”

“I want to just look at them first, I know we had Dylan and Lucas already named, but this little one I want to name when I see them.”

“Okay cupcake.” She smiles, leaning up to kiss me softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I want you better.”

“Talking will help, it helped last time. We’ll be okay cupcake.”

 

-Carmilla POV-

I walk up to the familiar door and take a deep breath before knocking. “Well if it isn’t Carmilla Karnstein.”

“Hello Dr. Kaplan.” I smile as she wraps me in a hug.

“Please, you’ve been here enough time to call me, Beth.” She smiles, leading me into the familiar room. “So, how are you, I don’t want to shrink you just yet, let me know how you are overall first.”

“Very well, I’m home finally. The kids missed me like crazy, Laura is pregnant again, so there’s that.”

“Are you happy that she’s pregnant again?” Beth asks, walking over to pull out the familiar blue binder that she used to put her notes in at the end of sessions with me.

“Extremely, I would like to be there while this one grows up.”

“Do you think the other two resent you leaving all the time?”

“Dylan may understand the meaning of that more than Lucas, but at the same time, I can’t be too sure.”

“You have two sons?”

“Dylan is our daughter, she’s going to be twelve soon. Lucas is our son, he’s five.” I clarify watching as Beth sits down in her chair across from me.

“And baby number three?”

“Unknown until further notice, Laura wants to wait.”

“So, you wouldn’t come back if there wasn’t something bothering you.” She smiles that concerning smile she manages.

“I had an episode. There were firecrackers down the street and I went back to a place that I never wanted to go back to.” I say quietly.

“Not a good place.”

“No, I never told Laura, but I did almost… let’s just say I’m lucky I’m home.”

“Why didn’t you tell Laura?”

“The last thing I needed was for her to worry about losing me all together, I didn’t want to put her through that.”

“Who was informed of your accident then?”

“My mother and father, but it was specified that they not tell Laura.”

“Do you think she would be upset to find out?”

“Of course she would be upset, but I don’t want her to worry about me dying. She doesn’t deserve that ever.”

“I understand you did it to protect her, but at the same time…”

“There is not ‘at the same time,’ she didn’t need to know.”

“She’s your wife.” Beth states, leaning back in her chair. “Isn’t she?”

“We’re currently separated in the eyes of the court.” I say, running my hands over my face.

“Why is that?”

“She filed for separation, not divorce. While I was away, just before Lucas was born, she said she couldn’t do it anymore, and we just kept it from the kids. We worked through it whenever I was home, but we never changed it. So technically, she’s not really my wife to the full extent of the word.”

“Do you plan on changing that?”

“That’s up to Laura.”

“Are you bothered by it?”

“Not when she did it, I understood why she did it.”

“Are you faithful to her, Carmilla?”

“Of course I am, I have kids with her for god’s sake. I can’t imagine cheating on Laura, even if I was given the permission to do it. The thought of doing something like that to her.”

“Has she cheated on you?”

“I think we’re on the same page when it comes to that. I doubt she would do something like that to me. She was always the type of woman to have her kids before herself. She wouldn’t do something like that to them.”

“Have you asked her?”

“No I haven’t, I don’t want to make an issue out of something that is probably not even that.”

“Okay, but I think you should talk to her. Especially if you plan on making the legal separation null and void.”

“Again, that’s her decision.”

“Do you not allow yourself to have a say in things?”

“When it comes to what Laura wants, I leave it for her to decide.”

“What about what you want?”

“When it comes to the two of us, it doesn’t matter what I want, I haven’t been around long enough to have an opinion on what’s right and what’s wrong. I don’t have a say. I don’t have an opinion.” I say, feeling tears begin to sting my eyes. “I don’t even know my children. I look at them and I can’t relate to them. Lucas doesn’t even look remotely like me at all. I look at him and I can’t see myself. Dylan I can see more of myself, but I still don’t know her. I don’t know who she is. I don’t know who Lucas is. I don’t know who Laura is anymore. It’s like I lost a huge chunk of myself in this job. And that’s all it is, it’s a job and it’s ruined me.”

“It’s a very important job though.”

“But at what cost? At what cost is it important?”

“You’re defending millions of people who – ”

“Who get to go on knowing their kids and spouses doing something they are too cowardly to do themselves! Right, I put my life on the line for people who could give two shits about what I do.”

“There are people who appreciate what you do.”

“Show me!”

“You’re looking at one. Carmilla, you’re looking at someone that is very thankful for what you put yourself through. You have three people at home who love you and care for you and you better be damn sure that your children look up to you for what it is you do, your wife loves you enough to appreciate what you do. Whatever resentment is there, it’s only on the surface. The frustration of not having you around is what made her file for separation, it’s a hard thing to think about. Have you ever asked Laura about her sleepless nights worrying about you? Or how she felt every time the phone rang or there was a knock at the door? You may be the one that witnessed things first hand, you were there literally fighting for freedom, but what about the people here? How do you think they felt, your parents, your wife, and your friends? What do you think went through their heads every moment of every day? You’re allowed to struggle with the things you’ve lived through, those scars are extremely deep and damaging, but there is still the emotional status of those that were here, worrying about you every moment of every day and how do you repay them? By letting them worry if you’re going to leave again? Do you at least reassure Laura that you definitely aren’t leaving again?”

“Several times.”

“Well you’re going to be reminding her constantly. You know, I didn’t plan on seeing you in this room; in fact, I was surprised that you called after so long. I thought you were okay and home for all these years. I was always planning to see you in line at the store, I was never thinking about having to see you professionally again, but something else too, I never thought I would be so relieved to get the call from you that you needed help again. I’m one of the people that worried Carmilla. You don’t know what it’s like to open the newspaper and hope you don’t see a patient on the cover or in the obituary. Every single day, since I saw you last, I would hold my breath, praying I didn’t see your name. Your life is too precious to put on the line again, you have three people to worry about and one on the way, those are the people that matter now, those are the people whose backs you have to have. You can’t go off into that place every time you hear a loud pop, or something scares you, you have to bring yourself back here and stay here. Whatever happened over there, has to stay over there, you can’t bring that back into your house.”

“It’s so hard though.” I say, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

“You make it easy, you look at your children and Laura, you remember why you chose the job in the first place, you remember that no matter what, they are the priority now. They will always be the priority. It will take time to get to know your kids, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on learning about them, they are still yours, you will have to keep learning who they are until they’re in their twenties at least. Don’t get frustrated on the fact that it’s too late. It’s never too late to get your life in order.”

“You’re right.”

“Hearing those words from you will always be musical.” She teases, getting out of her chair and giving me a hug. “You’re lucky I’m unconventional when it comes to my practice.” She smiles. “I want to see you in a week, I want good news and I want you to get things straightened out with your woman by then.”

“My woman.” I chuckle.

“I would like to see you and Laura, if that isn’t an issue.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

“Okay. You have so much to offer the world still Carmilla; don’t be stuck in a part of your life that doesn’t define you to the full extent. You have to keep moving forward and making strives to better your life as a whole.”

“Thank you. You always manage to put thing in perspective for me.” I smile.

“That’s why Laura sent you to me, you knows I can kick you back into shape.”


	19. To Annoy or Not…

**To Annoy or Not…**

-Laura POV-

I walk through the garage door with an armful of groceries. “Carmilla?” I call out as I start emptying the bags.

“Hey.” She smiles, walking into the room and wrapping her arm around me.

“How was therapy?”

“Good, I got talked out of my funk.” Carmilla chimes, hopping to sit up on the counter.

“You seem like yourself.”

“I am like myself. I – I want to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?” I ask, standing between her legs and placing my hands on her thighs.

“The separation.”

“What about it?”

“I want to undo it.”

“I never put it through.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, the day I was going to put it through, Dylan got sick and I forgot to do it, it’s still in a folder in the desk somewhere, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I’ve been thinking that it was put through for years now.”

“Well it wasn’t, and I’m sorry I never told you, I really am. Things just got hectic and I forgot to mention it.” I say, caressing her cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Not really. I’m mad that you didn’t tell me, but I’m relieved you didn’t put it through.”

“I’m sorry Carmilla. I should have told you. I really should have.”

“It’s okay cupcake, I promise.” She says, caressing my cheeks and lifting my head to look at her, she smiles and leans in to kiss me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I smile, kissing her again. “I love you so much.”

“How was your day?”

“Good, really good. Now before you get mad, I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t go to the session and we would have argues about it.” I explain, walking over to my bag. I pull out what I’m looking for and hand it to her with a smile. I watch as she looks as the picture curiously, tilting her head from side to side trying to get a better look of what’s going on. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m not mad that you went without me, but am I reading this right?”

“Yes you are.” I chime.

“Twins?”

“Yeah.”

“Two at the same time.”

“Yeah.”

“Two?”

“Yes, Carmilla. We’re having twins, fraternal by the looks of it. One is yours, the other is mine.”

“Holy shit.” Carmilla whispers, getting down from the counter and wrapping me in a tight hug. “We’re having twins.” She mumbles into the crook of my neck.

“Two little beasts to add to the circus we have going.” I tease.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” She chimes, leaning in to kiss me. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too.” Carmilla places her hand over my bump.

“Hey you little monsters, you better be playing nice in there. No fighting or anything like that.” I smile at how gentle Carmilla is when it comes to her children, even the unborn ones. “How are we going to tell the other monsters?”

“I don’t know, maybe you have an idea?”

“No clue. We should just leave the picture on the counter and see how long it takes for Dylan to notice.”

“Ingenious.” I tease, rolling my eyes at her.

“I know, I’m just always thinking, but seriously I can’t think of making an announcement or anything like that.”

“So we’ll go with your plan.” I say, walking over and hanging the sonogram picture on the fridge. “Let’s see how many times she goes in here before she notices.”

“I give it right when she goes to get a brink after school.”

“I call your bluff, I think she won’t notice until tomorrow.”

“What’s the wager?” Carmilla asks, jumping down from the counter.

“Loser has to wash dishes for the week.”

“What’s wrong with the dishwasher?”

“It broke this morning.”

“How? What’s broken on it?” Carmilla asks, walking over and pulling the dishwasher out from under the counter.

“I didn’t know it moved.”

“It has wheels for a reason cupcake, they’re meant to fit snug, but then have to be moved if needed.”

“I just learned something, anyway, it wasn’t draining properly. The whole bottom was filled with water.”

“The drain is probably clogged then. I’ll fix it.”

“You know how to fix a dishwasher?”

“I learned how to do a lot of things while I was at work. Wait until you see me work on a car.” Carmilla says playfully.

“Nothing sexier than seeing a lady sweaty and covered in grease.” I tease, laughing when Carmilla looks over her shoulder and rolls her eyes at me.

“You’re lucky you’re fucking cute.” Carmilla chimes, rising to her feet. “That mouth of yours would get you in trouble.”

“Then punish me.” I whisper huskily.

“Ah, that would be the case if you weren’t pregnant and with twins no less.”

“I hate them already.” I tease, as Carmilla wraps her arms around my waist.

“Don’t worry cupcake. We have to go get the gremlins soon.”

“I know, ugh! I wish they would take the bus.”

“I’m assuming that’s you’re fault.” She teases, kissing me on the cheek.

“Oh hush.” 

* * *

“Mom?” Dylan asks, walking into my room.

“Yes monkey?” I ask, looking up to see her holding the sonogram in her hand.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a picture.” I say, sitting up straight.

“Why is it all fuzzy?” Dylan asks with a scrunched up nose.

“Well, it’s because of the type of picture it is.”

“What is that?” She asks, climbing onto the bed.

“Well, this is a picture of the baby inside my belly.”

“But it doesn’t look like a baby.”

“That’s because of the picture.”

“I don’t like this picture. And why is there and A and a B?”

“I have two babies in my belly.” I smile.

“Two? Is that even possible?”

“Of course it is, you know how your friend Greg has a twin brother? Well I have twins in my belly.”

“Are they boys or girls? Or one of each?”

“Mama and I don’t want to find that out yet.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Are you happy you’re getting two more siblings?” I ask, running my fingers through her hair.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think it could be at the same time. I remember all the time you spent with Lucas when he was a baby and now you have to do that with two babies.”

“Well, that may be true, but you’re old enough to help out if you want to.”

“I don’t want to change diapers.”

“You don’t have to do that, but you can help pick out what they should wear, and help me and mama decide what to name them. Things like that.”

“That’ll be fun.” Dylan smiles, placing her hand on my belly. “Hello babies, I know mommy and mama don’t know what you are yet, but you are going to be called Burt and Ernie for now.”

“Burt and Ernie?” I laugh, running my fingers through her hair.

“Yeah, that was the only names I could think of.”

“So our babies are Burt and Ernie?” Carmilla asks, walking into the room.

“Only for now mama, mommy said you want them to be a surprise.”

“Yeah, it will be nice to wait until they’re born, but I guess until then, we will call them Burt and Ernie.” Carmilla smiles, as she sits on the bed next to Dylan.

“Mama?”

“Yes sweetie.”

“Are you going to be here when they’re born?”

“I promise, I’m not going to leave again.”

“Okay.” Dylan smiles, wrapping her arms around Carmilla. “I love you mama.”

“I love you Dylan.” Carmilla mumble into the top of her head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too mama.”

“Why don’t you and mama go out for a little while and spend time together, you haven’t had alone time with mama since she came back.” I suggest.

“Can we mama?” Dylan asks excitedly.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to go to the mall.”

“The mall? What would you want there?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll find something when we get there.” Dylan shrugs.

“We can go to the mall.” Carmilla smiles. “Go get your shoes on and grab a jacket.”

“Yay!” Dylan shouts, running out of our room.

“No stuffed animals, whatever you do.” I warn.

“I saw her room, she can pretty much run a zoo.”

“Yeah, I know. All I ask of you is not to bring home stuffed animals.” I exaggerate.

“I will make sure Dylan gets all the animals she wants.” Carmilla teases, rolling onto her front and leaning over to kiss me. “Maybe we’ll go baby shopping.”

“No animals for them either, I know everyone else is going to get them that, I don’t want a million stuffed animals in my house.”

“Okay, okay.” Carmilla says, kissing me again.

“Can we go before you two make out forever?” Dylan calls out from the doorway.

“Have fun with mama.”

“I will.” Dylan says, walking over to kiss me on the cheek.

“When is your dad bringing Luke home?”

“I don’t know, I think he’s staying for dinner.” I say.

“Okay.” Carmilla kisses me quickly. “Get some rest, we’ll bring you home something.”

“Okay.”

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Hey mama?”

“Yes monkey?”

“Can I get these for the babies?” Dylan asks, holding up a pair of baby bibs with Sesame Street characters on them.

“Yeah, we can get them.” I say as she puts them in the cart and walks towards a different aisle of the baby store.

“Can we get some toys?”

“Yeah, you can pick out some toys. Do you want to help me look at furniture? You can pick what you like and we can show mommy when we get home.”

“Yeah, I would like that. What color are you going to paint their room?”

“I don’t know that’s up to mom. I know she’s going to want white furniture though; she had it with you and with Lucas.”

“Okay, so we just have to pick out white.”

“We don’t have to, I just know that’s what mom would mostly want.”

“Good, I like this honey colored set. It comes with one of those glider chairs. I like them, my friend’s mom has one for her little sister.”

“I’ll take a picture of it and sent it to mom.” I say, taking out my phone, moments after sending it Laura replied back. “Your mother said she likes it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she wants to know how much it will cost.” I say, looking up to find the sign.

“The whole thing will cost eight-hundred dollars.” Dylan says, once she finds the tag. “That’s kind of a lot.”

“Yeah, and we need a second crib. But I think we should get it.”

“What about the money?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll take care of it.”

“You know mom is going to be mad.”

“I know, but I have done worse things, buying a set of furniture for our kids isn’t bad.”

“You know, I learned in school that it’s genetically impossible for two women to have kids.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter what it is scientifically, you are still mine and mommy’s.”

“Who’s my real mom though?”

“You are mommy’s, Lucas is mine, and the twins are ours, one is genetically mine, the other is genetically mommy’s. Does that bother you?”

“No, it doesn’t matter because I know you and mommy love me no matter what.”

“That’s exactly right. We both love you no matter what.”

“Do you know who my dad is?”

“You don’t have a dad in that sense, but the man that fathered you is a guy your mother and I kinds just picked out of a book. There is no connection to us, he’s a random guy that had a lot of genetic qualities we liked, and he had no hereditary illnesses or things like that so we picked him for all four of you.”

“How did I become me then? Like how did mommy get pregnant with me?”

“That’s a story you ask your mother.”

“Okay.” Dylan shrugs, skipping to another aisle. Once we got home Dylan ran up to her room, I walk into the living room to find Laura lying on the couch watching TV.

“Hey.” I smile, walking over to her and kissing her on the cheek.

“What did you bring me?”

“Burger and fries.” I chime, placing the bag on the coffee table. “And a chocolate shake.”

“Where did you go?”

“That diner by the mall, Dylan picked it so.”

“How was shopping?”

“Good, I ordered that baby set we sent the picture of, with and extra crib.”

“Was it expensive?”

“I don’t want you to worry about how much it was, I took care of it.”

“I’ll let it go this time.” She smiles, opening the container and smiling widely. “You got me a cheeseburger, I love you so much.” She says, kissing me on the cheek before taking a huge bite.

“Yeah, and extra napkins.” I say, reaching into the bag and wiping Laura’s mouth. “I forgot you were such a messy eater when you’re pregnant.”

“Did anything else happen while you were out? Did you buy anything else?”

“Dylan picked out a few things, I think she took the bag up to her room with her.”

“There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

“She asked about how she was born. Like what means were there in having her.”

“What did you tell her?”

“The truth, that she’s genetically yours, I went on to say about Lucas and the twins too. She understood, then she asked about how she was conceived and I told her to ask you.”

“Which means she knows she wasn’t conceive conventionally.”

“If she know how to conventionally have a baby, I don’t know if that’s something to be happy about. She’s only twelve.”

“She’s only eleven. And you’re right; she doesn’t need to know that. What made her ask you?”

“She was learning about genetics in science.”

“Well, I don’t want to sugar coat certain things with our kids. I mean, they are so smart and understand enough, they don’t need to be spoken to like that don’t understand. Well, Dylan doesn’t deserve that, and when Lucas starts asking questions he doesn’t either.”

“I love you.” I say, leaning in to kiss her softly.

“I love you too.” Laura smiles against my lips before kissing me again.


	20. Forever Yours…

**Forever Yours…**

 

-Carmilla POV-

“Lucas, Kendall, Benji, get down here now, we have to go!” I call up the stairs.

“Stop yelling.” Laura says, walking up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

“We have to go, Dylan is coming home.”

“I know, we all know. But you need to calm down.” 

“Remember when I first came home after being gone for so long?”

“Of course I remember. But she’s just coming home from college.”

“It’s still exciting, and we have to pick her up.”

“Mama, why are you yelling?” Kendall asks.

“Mama is crazy and excited that Dylan is coming home.” Laura says, picking up the little girl.

“Mama’s always crazy.” The eight-year-old chimes. It turned out that Laura’s genes carried out in Kendall, and mine in Benji. Kendall had the same hazel eyes and lighter hair, while Benji was born with the signature Karnstein smirk the moment he entered the world.

“I’m not always crazy.”

“Yes you are, you’re super crazy.”

“Well then.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest melodramatically.

“I’m sorry mama.” Kendall chimes, reaching over for me.

“It’s okay monkey.” I say, taking her out of Laura’s arms and kissing her cheek. 

“I love you mama."

“I love you too.”

“I love you most!” Benji shouts, running down the stairs.

“Yeah, yeah.” Laura says, waving the twins off.

“I love you mommy.” Benji smiles as he looks up at Laura through his glasses.

“With all this love going around, we should be getting your sister from the airport. Lucas!”

“I’m coming.” The thirteen-year-old huffs as he reaches the bottom on the stairs.

“And here he is, the child of the hour.”

“Can we just go get Dylan so we can come home? I’ve almost beat this game and I’d like to do it before I’m fifty.”

“You will. Don’t worry.” I say, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. 

* * *

“Hey mama!” Dylan shouts as she runs up to us. She wraps her arms around me, holding me tight.

“Hey kiddo. How are you?”

“Good, I missed you.”

“Well it isn’t everyday your little one gets to be in Princeton.” I say with a smile.

“Seeing as I’m the only one that will be in an Ivy League school.”

“Be nice.” Laura warns, wrapping Dylan up in a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good, mom. There’s someone I want you to meet.” Dylan smiles as she turns to look back at where she came, she waves someone over. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was bringing someone, but it was last minute, they didn’t know if they would be able to even come.”

“It’s fine sweetie.” Laura smiles, nudging me when I look at the guy walking up to Dylan with a smile.

“Mom, mama, this is Quinn. Quinn, these are my moms.”

“Nice to finally meet you.” He says politely, extending his hand to me.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Carmilla, and this is my wife, Laura.” I say, shaking his hand forcefully.

“Carmilla be nice.” Laura warns. “It’s nice to meet you, Quinn.” She smiles as she shakes his hand.

“I was in the military, so you better watch out.”

“Mama, knock it off.” Dylan says, slapping my arm.

“No, it’s okay. I understand what you’re doing, Mrs. Karnstein.”

“Good, good. Let’s go, we left your brothers and sister at grandma and grandpa’s.”

“Okay, we just have to get out bags, we’ll meet you out by the car.” Dylan says, taking Quinn’s hand in hers.

“Did you know she had a boyfriend?” I ask, watching Laura cast her eyes away from me. “You did, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me?”

“You would have flew to New Jersey and interrogated him!”

“Well he’s still going to get interrogated.”

“Come on Carmilla, don’t be that way. Just let her be.”

“I don’t want her getting hurt.”

“She’s old enough and smart enough to determine who is and isn’t going to hurt her. Don’t worry.”

“I will worry.”

“Calm down.” Laura chimes.

“I’ll never be calm. My little girl is growing up.”

“Everything will be okay. She’s a smart girl. Take a breath and relax.” She says, stopping to kiss me softly. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I told you they are grossly in love.” Dylan chimes as she walks up behind Laura and I.

“Don’t talk about me behind my back.” I say playfully.

“Never, mama.” 

* * *

“So, how did you two meet?” Laura asks, walking into the living room after dinner with a tray of coffee and cookies. “I know your mother is dying to hear.”

“We met in the library, I know it’s such a cliché, but we reached for the same book only to realize we were in the same class with the same professor, just on different days. There was something about him…” Dylan smiles, looking at Quinn before kissing him.

“What are you studying, Quinn?” I ask, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Evolutionary Biology, ma’am.”

“You’d consider yourself a Darwinist then?”

“Yes ma’am. Evolution is fascinating to me.”

“Look at that cupcake, not only have we given birth to a science nerd, much like Laf, but she’s met an equally nerdy scientist.” I tease, causing both Dylan and Laura to roll their eyes at me.

“Mama, mama!” Kendall shouts, running over and jumping on the couch next to me.

“Kendall, Kendall!” I smile, wrapping my arms around her. “How can I help you?”

“I love you.” She laughs.

“I love you too, monkey.”

“Are you still going to read to me?”

“Of course. Go get ready for bed and I’ll be up there in a little bit.”

“Okay. Goodnight everyone.” She smiles, making sure to give everyone a hug before going upstairs.

“So I’m assuming you will be staying with us for the next week?” I ask Quinn.

“If it isn’t trouble.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

“Mama.” Dylan whines.

“He’s not sleeping in your room. I want that much to be clear.”

“Why not?”

“Dylan, we have three other kids in this house, I will have to agree with your mother on this one, sweetie.” Laura says. “I’ll set up the spare room down here.”

“Come on.”

“Seriously Dylan, if you want him to stay here, I suggest you don’t put up a fight.” 

“Whatever.” Dylan huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hey, you can stay up however late you want, you just have to go up to your room when you’re ready for bed. You can’t stay in the same bed.” Laura explains. “Besides, you know mama will be up half the night checking in on you two anyway, so the risk isn’t worth it.” 

“You’re right."

“Oh how I love the sound of us being right.” I say, getting up from the couch and kissing the top of Laura’s head. “I’ll see you in bed before we know it.” I whisper as Laura looks up at me with a smile.

“Okay.” She says as I lean down and kiss her quickly. “Make sure Benji is in bed before you start reading to Kendall, and Lucas is off of his PlayStation.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” I salute. I make my way upstairs and go to Lucas’s room. I knock on the door.

“Yeah?” Lucas calls out, I open the door to see him sitting in his chair playing some game.

“Off, kiddo.”

“Come on mama, I just have to finish this level.”

“Off, now.” I say sternly, he turns and looks at me with a challenging look in his eyes, a Karnstein trait that I hated, but was twistedly proud of. “ _Now_.”

“Fine.” He sighs, turning off the console and TV.

“Thank you.”

“Is Dylan’s boyfriend staying here?”

“Yeah, he’ll be downstairs.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, kiddo.” I say, walking over and kissing his forehead.

“Goodnight, mama.” He says through a yawn as he climbs into bed. After he’s settled I walk out of the room, turning off his light and leaving his door open. I walk across to Benji’s room.

“Bedtime, little one.” I say, walking into his room to see he was reading a book.

“Not yet, mama.” He says, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

“Yes, come on.” I say, taking the book from his hands and putting it on his nightstand. He takes his glasses off and puts them on top of the book. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight mama, I love you.”

“I love you too.” I chime; kissing him on the cheek before doing the same thing I did leaving Lucas’s room. Finally, I make my way to Kendall’s room to see she was already asleep, her covers pulled up to her chin, and arms sprawled out about her head. The book she wanted me to read was resting against her chest. I walk in and take the book off of her and place it on her desk before kissing her forehead softly.

“All good?” Laura asks as she reaches the top of the stairs.

“Yep, everything is good, the three little pigs are sleeping.”

“Did you get to read to Kendall tonight?”

“No, she was out again. I’ll read to her tomorrow before dinner or something. I enjoy that time with her.”

“I know, just like how I enjoy my time gardening with Ben and Luke.” She chimes as she walks into our room. “You know what else I enjoy?”

“Alone time with me?” I ask, closing the door behind us.

“Alone time with myself.” Laura scoffs before smiling. “Of course I love my alone time with you.” She laughs, leaning in to kiss me.

“You better, or I would be very upset.”

“How upset are we talking?”

“Enough to go sleep on the couch to punish you.”

“How would that punish me?”

“You wouldn’t have anyone to snuggle up to and keep you warm.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I always hated sleeping alone. That’s one thing that would upset me when you were gone.”

“That’s something you’re always going to hold over my head, aren’t you?”

“I mean, just a little.”

“It’s been over ten years since I was last gone.”

“I know, but I just hated that feeling so much, that ten years doesn’t feel as long as it sounds.”

“Look at me.” I say, placing my hands on her cheeks. “I don’t want you to hold that over my head anymore. There is no reason to do that. I haven’t given you any reason to think otherwise, I am never going anywhere. Ever again.”

“I think it’s always going to be in the back of my head.”

“Well, get it out of there. You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Well, I don’t know if that’s a threat or a promise.” She teases, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It’s a bit of both.” I smile, standing between her legs.

“Well then.” She chimes, placing her hands on my waist and pulling me on top of her. “Do you have any regrets?”

“In my life?” I ask, leaning up on my elbows.

“Yeah.”

“Not being with you enough. Not being with Dylan and Lucas enough when they were younger. Essentially just not being my best self for you and the kids.”

“Would you change anything?”

“No. I feel like everything I did helped shape me into being a better wife and mother, as well as a better person overall. I wouldn’t change anything I did in my life. I don’t know if I would be my best self now if it wasn’t for being what I was ten years ago.” Laura looks up at me, smiling as she caresses my cheek. “No matter what, you’re stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be stuck with anyone else.” She smiles, leaning up to kiss me.


End file.
